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Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

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Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#41

Post by PascLeRasc »

geoffchan23 wrote: post #34

I'm going to try and add a different angle to this because most people here have covered what I wanted to say (performance, compensation etc.) I would use this time to find out how your manager is doing in his/her role. Find out how you can help them. Talk to them about their frustrations and how they are feeling. Just because they are your manager doesn't mean you need to treat them like a boss all the time. Show th…

I have pretty bad work-related anxiety and I recently started seeing a therapist who specializes in it. She recommended I start thinking of my role as solely "to make my manager look good". This changed my whole mindset from trying to be a better/more efficient developer to trying to look out for what's on my manager's plate and how my behavior would reflect on her and her team. It's really helped me and I know my manager appreciates it. I can expand on this more if anyone thinks it'd help them too.

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#42

Post by fhbdukfrh »

davezatch wrote: post #15
dsr_ wrote: post #12

Various commenters have interpreted this in two different ways: a) this is a performance/compensation review meeting b) this is a weekly/biweekly/whatever infinitely repeating meeting I think most managers who ask for 1:1 meetings are talking about case (b). I do. I don't schedule 1:1 meetings for local employees unless they ask; I do schedule 1:1 meetings for remote employees. My feeling (which I have mentioned to e…

I understand your PoV, but I like to stronnnnnngly encourage 1:1s every week, with each team member. I think it's really easy to let that slip if it's not in the calendar, and I've learned so many important, small things from people in those meetings. Especially since some people don't really feel comfortable coming to their manager out of band. That makes the structure of "I have a block scheduled you with every wee…

I agree. My 1:1 invites explicitly frame them as an opportunity to point out where I'm failing in supporting your goals, things you want to accomplish and questions you have about anything from the trivial to the strategic.

I don't use a formal agenda but our 1:1's do produce explicit action items with one of us assigned and a due date

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#43

Post by seer »

Beltiras wrote: post #39
geoffchan23 wrote: post #34

I'm going to try and add a different angle to this because most people here have covered what I wanted to say (performance, compensation etc.) I would use this time to find out how your manager is doing in his/her role. Find out how you can help them. Talk to them about their frustrations and how they are feeling. Just because they are your manager doesn't mean you need to treat them like a boss all the time. Show th…

This attitude works if you have a leader for a manager. Notsomuch if s/he's a boss.

Those types do build a wall between themselves and others true. But if there is ever a time when you can break that and engage with the real person underneath I think 1-1 are it.

Those people would try not to show real weakness / vulnerability before groups of people - but just one? Maybe.

I’ve managed to build many a close relationship with people that others considered “the devil wears prada” types this way.

So strongly agree with the parent comment!

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#44

Post by Wilem82 »

gwbas1c wrote: post #37
Wilem82 wrote: post #28

First of all, if you want to talk about something, you don't need to wait for the next scheduled meeting, you can just talk. Therefore the system of scheduled one on one meetings is nothing but bureaucracy. Therefore the question is "is there anything you discuss with the manager, ever?" And the answer to that depends on the manager's competence. If you can delegate your task to the manager and they are actually able…

> If you can delegate your task to the manager and they are actually able to solve it, then you can use it to keep the progress rolling Managers are supposed to delegate tasks to you, not the other way around. If you are delegating tasks to your manager, (as opposed to your manager saying something like, "I'm going to assign this task to XXX," or "I'm going to go try and get team YYY to do ZZZ,") then your manager is…

> Managers are supposed to delegate tasks to you, not the other way around.

In software engineering? Not really. They aren't engineers, they can't delegate anything because they have no idea what to do or how to do it.

In SE, the best managers can do is be helpers in non-technical tasks, like manage the attendance system for you or talk to other departments when your issue tracker goes down or if there's an internet connection problem in the office, and so on. Make sure nothing distrupts your work, in other words.

> If you are delegating tasks to your manager, (as opposed to your manager saying something like, "I'm going to assign this task to XXX,"

Managers cannot, without any input from the engineers, assign tasks, because they have no idea what the task affects, the impacts, the risks, difficulties etc. Their so-called decisions that touch on the technical side are 99% based on the engineers' input. The engineers say this is critical and explain why and the manager says "oh well, then you and you should fix it asap!".

Sometimes a manager is useful for aggregating the data flowing in and out of the team, as the team's single point of entry for various people, kind of like a reception or secretary in a sense. Again, to let the engineers work on their stuff.

Or, the manager could present some business requirements, although for that you should have a PO, but suppose it's the manager. Even then, they're not delegating as in commanding the people to do something, they're just asking the engineers to work on a solution, something which the manager has no idea how to do. It's like, if I call a plumber to fix something, I'm not delegating the work to the plumber because I have no idea how to do it myself, I'm simply asking the plumber to provide a service. I'm not the plumber's "boss", the plumber is the expert, I'm simply asking their expert opinion on how to proceed.

> then your manager isn't really managing

They are never managing anything, at least from my oh I don't know, about 16 years of experience working at companies big and small.

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#45

Post by buro9 »

I wrote something internally a couple of years ago, and it is precisely a thought piece on why 1:1s exist, for whom, and how to get the best from them.

As it's too long for a HN comment I hope you don't mind my "publishing" it on Google Docs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1R4j84c7gHRn1Q3xmwg5h18La...

Feel free to give this to your manager to help them consider how to use the 1:1 and make it better for the both of you.

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#46

Post by reffaelwallen »

geoffchan23 wrote: post #34

I'm going to try and add a different angle to this because most people here have covered what I wanted to say (performance, compensation etc.) I would use this time to find out how your manager is doing in his/her role. Find out how you can help them. Talk to them about their frustrations and how they are feeling. Just because they are your manager doesn't mean you need to treat them like a boss all the time. Show th…

This is the opposite why to have a 1:1.

It's like going to therapy and trying to analyze the therapist. Save your money.

Edit: grammer

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#47

Post by jressey »

5 sections.

1. Personal chit-chat. 2. Review of your work commitments and what your boss can do to help you. 3. Review of personal development commitments and what your boss can do to help you. 4. What questions do you have for your boss about your business, department, or team. 5. Share specific feedback for your manager, ask for specific feedback.

It's very important to have those commitments set quarterly or at worst annually. You should set double-length 1:1s for those sessions.

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#48

Post by marcinzm »

reffaelwallen wrote: post #46
geoffchan23 wrote: post #34

I'm going to try and add a different angle to this because most people here have covered what I wanted to say (performance, compensation etc.) I would use this time to find out how your manager is doing in his/her role. Find out how you can help them. Talk to them about their frustrations and how they are feeling. Just because they are your manager doesn't mean you need to treat them like a boss all the time. Show th…

This is the opposite why to have a 1:1. It's like going to therapy and trying to analyze the therapist. Save your money. Edit: grammer

Except the therapist in this case has a significant impact on your career progression. You don't have to show empathy and help them but don't be surprised when the team member who does gets promoted rather than you.

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#49

Post by jszymborski »

I keep a little private git repo with markdown files for each meeting I've had with my supervisor (academic setting), and one file for the one in the future where I write down agenda items as they come up. I always have "Project Progress Summary" as a line item, where I give a short summary of what I'm working on.

Sometimes I've nothing but that "Project Progress Summary", sometimes I've got some road blocks I'd like to share, other times I've got a bundle of miscellany or brainstorming items on it.

I take notes on a pad of paper during the meeting, take photos with my phone, and if anything of substance happened in the meeting, I might transcribe them so that I can find them with a quick grep of the meetings folder.

Re: Ask HN: What agenda do you have for 1:1 meetings with your supervisor?

#50

Post by HoustonRefugee »

I prefer 1:1 when there is something relevant to discuss (merit increases, onboarding, significant problems). Personally I believe this is the best way the manager/employee relationship should function. Email and daily interaction should be more than enough to maintain communication on projects, work, etc. The clear sign of a good manager is the less 1:1's the better. That means the manager is respected enough by his subordinates to know what is going on with his team and the team can collaborate enough to solve problems without constant involvement from the manager.

When a manager has weekly 1:1 meetings, time to find a new job...and fast. That is a major red flag if the manager unable to keep track of the team OR upper management is getting ready for layoffs.

In fact, when go through the interview process once question I ask is are their views on 1:1 meeting, how often are they, are they mandated by upper management or just the manager's preference.

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