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Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

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Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#41

Post by hevi_jos »

If you look at facebook, you see what people want other people to see. The pictures of good things,or beautiful places from travels, and so on, the only good stuff. The same with the anime.

This is not reality. Reality of friendship or anything in life like dating is good and bad combined. Sometimes is pain in the *ss to have a close friend or lover.

You probably want something that is perfect, and you idealize it from the distance. Friendship is not complicated, you just spend time with other people, not hard at all.

It is also a routine, you need to gain momentum, it will look hard to break you current routine(that is comfortable, what is called the "comfort zone"), but is not, write down an objective you want on paper and look it every day while doing a little every day to gain momentum.

How could I advice an stranger what hobbies should he adopt. I don't know you, your tastes, I do not know where you life, your country. This is your job.

in places like the US people is isolated by default, one way to improve is traveling to a country that is more social for a while like Spain, Argentina,or Brazil.

Youthful fun? Stop desiring what you don't have. I had fun when I was a kid but right now it is only memory. Only the present exist. And the past is not the future.

There are more important things in life than "fun", read "Man's Search for Meaning" of Victor Frankl.

You could have fun at any stage of your life, you don't need permission from others for that.

What usually happens is that what other people consider fun, is not fun for you and vice versa. I get pretty happy spending time in the Woods talking-discussing about philosophy with other people. Other people consider it boring.

Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#42

Post by pongogogo »

Firstly, it's difficult to get perspective on something when you're in the thick of it. You may have made better friendships than you realise and these things will become clearer with time.

Secondly, it sounds like you've lived yr teens a little differently to others, but there's no right way of doing it, and you'll be richer for some of the choices you've made and poorer for others, that's part of life. Live without regrets. It's a cliche but also a truism that you can't change the past.

Finally, the great thing you've done is yr reflecting upon the life you're leading. The trick now is to actually act upon the changes you want to make and commit to them. If you can work this loop really effectively (do, reflect, improve) while also just being able to relax a bit and find pleasure in where you are right now then I think this is one of the keys to a happy, fulfilled life.

Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#43

Post by hevi_jos »

hevi_jos wrote: post #41

If you look at facebook, you see what people want other people to see. The pictures of good things,or beautiful places from travels, and so on, the only good stuff. The same with the anime. This is not reality. Reality of friendship or anything in life like dating is good and bad combined. Sometimes is pain in the *ss to have a close friend or lover. You probably want something that is perfect, and you idealize it fr…

PS:"How to make friends and influence people" is a good book to understand friendship, it is about others, not you.

By the way, this book has an old version, I think pre WWII or something, and later versions.

Pick the old one, it is the original. It was later "improved" by the author's descendants.

Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#44

Post by ilovetux »

First, I'd like to say that you're doing fine, no worries.

Second, I'd say go out and join a team or two. This is where you will find deeper connections with other people.

It could be a sports team, a work team, a User Group[0] or anything where you have to cooperatively participate with others based purely on shared interests and goals. Just be sure to pick something you enjoy and to participate fully.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Users%27_group

Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#45

Post by graeme »

solarkraft wrote: post #36
graeme wrote: post #30

To make lasting friends you have to hang out repeatedly with a group of people. Then you'll naturally hang out more with some people in a group, and suddenly you'll realize you're friends. Also friendships bloody well can be forced (or nudged, anyway). All friendships start between two people who aren't exactly friends. "Hey, do you want to X later?" "Yeah sure" Then you try X, and if you enjoy X, you do Y together l…

> Also if people aren't warming to you, then dressing well and being fit help I have been way over-valuing this before. While the effect might not be 0, I think it is a much worse problem for dating and not so much just making friends. Even then it is surprising how far a bit of confidence will get you. Don't stress about things you can't change.

....you can very easily change how you dress. I wore ill fitting pants for years. Now my pants fit.

I'm not high fashion or anything; I wear jeans and T shirts. But they fit. This is pretty simple to fix.

It's not a huge deal for making friends, but it isn't zero.

This may not be OP's problem, and it may not have been your problem, but a lot of introverted men are awful dressers and it adds friction to hanging around with them.

Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#48

Post by akhilcacharya »

fsloth wrote: post #25
akhilcacharya wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>when I found out there's other people who like talking about the Linux kernel I went to an engineering school with a sizable CS/ECE program but I never found people like this. My advice to OP is - go to a university that does have people like this.

"My advice to OP is - go to a university that does have people like this." Sorry, but that's an unactionable advice. You really can't tell what your classmates interests will be before the uni starts generally. Go to the best college you can is a better one.

Generally speaking it correlates well with selectivity and ranking.

Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#49

Post by dang »

TheAsprngHacker wrote: post #2

I wanted to make this submission longer to better convey how I feel, but I had to cut it down to 2000 characters (including the title apparently). Therefore, it may come across as terse and abrupt.

You can get around that by adding more text in later via the 'edit' link, which is there for 2 hours after you post.

But I don't think what you wrote sounds terse or abrupt! I hope you get some value out of the replies.

Re: Ask HN: How can I make the most out of high school?

#50

Post by bredren »

Get into minor but not major trouble. Learn what it is like to bend or break the rules get caught and suffer consequences. Get that out of your system now if even an inkling of curiousity exists here.

Don’t get into major trouble or do very dumb things that could get people seriously injured or killed.

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