Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?

#41

Post by evervevdww221 » Sun, Jul 16, 2017, 4:36 PM UTC

Thank you everybody for replying to my question. I guess this question is meaningless now for me, as my girlfriend has broken up with me last night and she has decided to go with another guy, fundamentally because of my hesitation for marriage.

I analyzed her too logically, weighing too much about our differences. I didn't treat her as a teammate to solve our common problems. We didn't communicate enough.

The past few hours was the darkest time of my life. Only now I realized how much I loved her. I regret it so much.

Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?

#42

Post by Lordarminius » Sun, Jul 16, 2017, 5:02 PM UTC

evervevdww221 wrote: post #41

Thank you everybody for replying to my question. I guess this question is meaningless now for me, as my girlfriend has broken up with me last night and she has decided to go with another guy, fundamentally because of my hesitation for marriage. I analyzed her too logically, weighing too much about our differences. I didn't treat her as a teammate to solve our common problems. We didn't communicate enough. The past fe…

She made her choice just as you have to make yours. I feel your pain but these things have away of working out one way or the other.

I have a different take on late marriage: maybe its not the career that's holding you back, maybe its the quest for compatibility, the need to have a spouse that understands and supports your goals. This carries more weight than we normally give credit for. This may be why driven men who marry early frequently get divorced.

Just a theory

Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?

#43

Post by Lordarminius » Sun, Jul 16, 2017, 5:04 PM UTC

itamarst wrote: post #18

There are some assumptions embedded in your question: 1. Entrepreneurs are doomed to "fall", to failure. 2. Being an entrepreneur requires much greater time than being an employee. Both those are assumptions are true if you go traditional VC-funded startup route, for example. But there are examples of entrepreneurs who have built companies around a 40-hour work week, and around making money , instead of "5 billion do…

I agree with you. I remember reading an article on Carlos Slim in which he states that entrepreneurship is no reason to forgo family life. (He's happily married)

Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?

#44

Post by Lordarminius » Sun, Jul 16, 2017, 5:12 PM UTC

bsvalley wrote: post #39

My answer is very practical but it's close to reality. Time won't be your main concern... money will force you to go back to work to get a 9-5 stable job. If you chose the entrepreneurial route and you haven't even started yet, forget about building a family, unless you've already built a stable business - or - your wife goes back to work right after delivery of your baby. Assuming her salary can support the entire f…

> Time won't be your main concern... money will force you to go back to work to get a 9-5 stable job

I agree 100% with you. The need to support a family is the greatest graveyard of entrepreneurial dreams.

Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?

#45

Post by [deleted] » Wed, Jul 19, 2017, 5:19 AM UTC

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?

#46

Post by pm24601 » Thu, Jul 27, 2017, 4:00 AM UTC

A family forces you to think about priorities greater than just meeting the deadlines at work.

A family can be stressful OR rewarding.

For me, the family gave me a reason to leave work at a healthy hour. It gave me a "success" when the business was failing.

It kept me from being social isolated by the business.

Re: Ask HN: Do you think career and family is either-or?

#47

Post by pm24601 » Thu, Jul 27, 2017, 4:03 AM UTC

evervevdww221 wrote: post #41

Thank you everybody for replying to my question. I guess this question is meaningless now for me, as my girlfriend has broken up with me last night and she has decided to go with another guy, fundamentally because of my hesitation for marriage. I analyzed her too logically, weighing too much about our differences. I didn't treat her as a teammate to solve our common problems. We didn't communicate enough. The past fe…

i am sorry.