41–50 of 244 posts
(I'm curious if people here chime in to say this is a bad idea for some reason.)
However, I need to ask you a very serious question. You don't have to answer in public because it is a very personal thing. But, what do you mean by moments when you want to snap? And, when you say 'the edge point', what are you on the edge of?
If it's anger, have you ever thought of anger management therapy?
Or, if you are thinking of hurting yourself, please don't.
If you need someone to talk to, my email address is in my profile. I doubt that I know you in person and I am open to listening to anything you need to say.
Be safe and peaceful.
You might want to check out Stoicism, the philosophy, which has a lot to say about emotions. How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life by Massimo Pigliucci is a pretty good intro. You can also try diving right into original sources like the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, or the Enchiridion by Epictetus, or something by Seneca. There are many translations for all of these.
The best way to not bring all that emotion home is not to have it in the first place. Anger is caused by frustration is caused by desire. People who dont give a damn about their jobs clock out at 4:56 and rest easy. The people who burn out or 'snap' are the ones whom take the most pride in their work. Learn to care less about your job. If you already have the emotions built up, then simply recognize that fact and tak…
This. This 100x over. Present your opinions, back them up with data / rationale, and if they don't go with them: water off a duck's back. It's their mistake if it works out poorly, or you learn something new if it works out great.
If you have employers that don't let you practice this "giving fewer fucks" attitude, or hold it against you wrt career progression, that's when you start looking for somewhere else to work. No employees should have to physically or emotionally harm themselves as a part of their job. If it's not your company (you don't have founder-level equity) then it's not worth your health. It's arguably NEVER worth your health, even if you are a founder.
You might want to check out Stoicism, the philosophy, which has a lot to say about emotions. How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life by Massimo Pigliucci is a pretty good intro. You can also try diving right into original sources like the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, or the Enchiridion by Epictetus, or something by Seneca. There are many translations for all of these.
The book "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William Irvine is a good book on Stoicism that provides a good practical perspective on using the approach in your life.
This is one of the most common use cases for users of our wearable device, Pavlok. Adding a zap when noticing negative emotion kicks you out of automatic limbic system mode, and into human awareness/prefrontal cortex mode. Here are a couple users who spoke about it https://pavlok.com/blog/how-to-reduce-negative-thoughts-and-... https://pavlok.com/blog/alex-t-kicked-anger-problem/
Efficient way - snap at work not at home, let everyone know about your problems and frustration. Man up. Shortcut - crack up a beer or two when you get back home then think about happy things.
What would happen if I lost my job?
What would happen if I were to die tonight?
Sometimes it helps to realize that nothing much really, I mean really, matters - ideology, opinion, software, even my own life.
Sometimes, 'Pearls before Swine' helps to put things in perspective! [1]
If covered by insurance, speak to a therapist weekly. Unless you are in one of a handful of professions, your work is nothing that warrants this amount of stress. No one is going to die. There's tons of things that happen at an employer that are wrong, and that are stupid and that are complete nonsense. There are things that you must simply let slide. Things that truly do not matter. Very few things REALLY matter. Ve…
Isn't that kind of stress supposed to impair performance? I'd think that keeping not-stressed would be even more important if people's lives were in question.
If covered by insurance, speak to a therapist weekly. Unless you are in one of a handful of professions, your work is nothing that warrants this amount of stress. No one is going to die. There's tons of things that happen at an employer that are wrong, and that are stupid and that are complete nonsense. There are things that you must simply let slide. Things that truly do not matter. Very few things REALLY matter. Ve…
I'd also recommend trying something like an intensive therapeutic seminar: https://www.themeadows.com/workshops/survivors-i-workshop
If you don't like therapy, maybe something like Landmark: http://www.landmarkworldwide.com
Some people put down therapy and taking care of themselves in general, my guess is because it takes alot of courage to actually address dysfunction with themselves. I've been that person at times too, in general though I've tried alot of these things and I don't regret having gone through them and I felt better coming through the other side of my own shit.