I've been there. A ton of good advice is on this thread. You need to try to influence your internal state chemically if you want to stay on track. Exercise, medication, meditation, eating and sleeping healthy are all helpful. It's also good to reconnect with people that matter to you: family, friends, etc. If you're closing the deal, and the money is significant, just think what you could do for them, or for other people who need help. And find ways to spend more time with them, because our lives are defined by our relationships. You could say your self exists to the extent that your in conversation with people who understand you. So go find with and be with them. It'll help you refuel.
Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
391–400 of 527 posts
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#392(source: I've twice left my own companies- both companies continued to grow and prosper after I left). Personally, I'd suck it up and get the sale done, working hard to make the price as front-loaded as possible. Depending on the buyers appetite for you to keep working there you could: A) Suggest that you're excited to stay with the business, but if they feel there'd be too many chefs in the kitchen and that you shou…
> Try psychedelic mushrooms
Don't do this. Psilocybin has the tendency to "turn out what's inside you" and might make your feelings much worse. People do get bad trips and the consequence can be panic attacks and severe anxiety for months after the trip. It's incredibly dangerous advice to tell someone "take drugs, despite your psychological problems"
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#393(source: I've twice left my own companies- both companies continued to grow and prosper after I left). Personally, I'd suck it up and get the sale done, working hard to make the price as front-loaded as possible. Depending on the buyers appetite for you to keep working there you could: A) Suggest that you're excited to stay with the business, but if they feel there'd be too many chefs in the kitchen and that you shou…
Please do not advise people who are clearly depressed to take mushrooms. Always remember that whats an elixir for may be poison for others. Yes, mushrooms do help anxieties BUT it is also known that if you are not in a good mental state, you can have bad trip and a bad trip... is not going to be relieving any anxiety, it will make it worse. That said, maybe Microdosing is okay.
I agree with all of your other points but I think it is important to point out that mushroooms will grab you by your genitals and take you for a spin. Not everyone can handle this. I am speaking anecdotally. These things have been mentioned way to often now. I get that its a new thing, and given that the stigma is no longer there - at least in our community - it is also important to know the 'cons' along with the 'pros'.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#394I was in the same position sometime back.
I was convinced that chasing startup money and fame was some objective form of happiness. The chase never made me happy.
Luckily, I woke up before I made any hires. My startup is still profitable, but it's more of a lifestyle business now. I work enough to make sure the profits don't fall.
I use my time to travel the world, live out of a backpack, make friends, do shit that scares me. Still struggling with the last part.
Last month I volunteered at a not-for-profit pay-as-you-go restaurant taking orders and cleaning tables and it made me the happiest I have been in almost a year.
I am also exploring my other passions - fitness, food, nutrition.
You know best what you need to do. I thought I'd share what I did.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#395It could be the routine and long hours that's driving you to this dispair. I had many jobs before being a dev, including supermarket and bar jobs. They mostly sucked because I had close to zero control of my environment.
Being a dev is the best by far. I have a lot of control. Not without stress though. Best antidotes to stress for me are cycling to work, swimming in cold lakes, weight lifting, hours of device free time with wife and children.
As a founder aren't you in a priviledged position of being able to change whatever you want? If not, what's the point?
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#396Had something similar, but alone ...
Weekdays: appear strong, I'm responsible for 30 people, nobody can see that I'm vulnerable.
Weekends: massive bingie, parties, alcohol, coke, hookers...
Last year in april after a 4 day weekend I almost died, had to call the ambulance on myself. My legs and arms started to feel numb, couldn't move them, was scary. Called the ambulance, they said that go to the street wait for them, and under no circumstances close my eyes. It was really hard to keep them open, but when I heard the sirens just snaped. Had this thought closing my eyes that I may never open them again. Turns out that I didn't drink enough water, and my blood got so dense that my heart couldn't circulate it. Wake up in the ambulance car still in my street feeling pretty well, bribed them so they say they haven't found me, because I had a big contract signing in 5 hours.
Then I reached out for help, on therapy since. Before that I was thinking about it for long, but how should I choose, etc. Doesn't matter, just went with the first one I found sympathetic online.
The second one is sport, get your self time to move 2-3 times a week, does wonders.
I wish I could say I haven't touched any substances since, but currently I feel much better.
So get therapy and start to move, that worked for me.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#397I've been in jobs that I've hated and have a fail-safe trick - hire people to do the parts of the job that you hate. There was obviously something that enamored by when you decided to found the start-up. Are you still in love with that technology/solution? Are you sure you don't just hate the increasing management and paperwork duties?
As a founder, you're always going to have to deal with strategic situations (like the sale of the company) but you'd be surprised how much of the day-to-day work you can pawn off on a recent MBA graduate. I'm also wondering if you've come to hate the job because of the work involved with finding a buyer and working towards the sale. It's grueling! But it's also over when the sale is complete.
Good luck!
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#398Agree. Suck it up, buttercup. Quitting is the only real certain way to screw up what you've built. Go find an executive coach and get yourself some help.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#399Hi, I hope you find out the light at the end of the tunnel. Regarding your situation, I would think about this as a project, a project to go out. It has to be planned and executed. That helped me out many years ago. You don't need to quit now but bear in mind crying doesn't take to the shore.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#400So what is your analysis of how you got into this situation?