Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#371

Post by spike021 » Wed, May 31, 2023, 1:52 AM UTC

I'm part of a regional car community for a specific sports car model.

I've probably been involved for 6 years now. Originally the regional club had a board with people volunteering to have some responsibility for their subregion (parts of the Bay Area).

I first got involved just as a member going to meet ups.

Then I became a board member about four years ago. Helped host some meets and other events.

Then COVID happened and we stopped all social meets.

The last remaining board members gave up on it. So since about a year ago even though I had officially stepped down as a member before COVID, I decided to start hosting events again because people had been asking.

Some of my closest friends are part of this community and we don't only discuss cars. Some friends are also SWE's and some aren't. Makes for a good social mix.

I'd say the events I organize these days average 20-40 cars and about as many people or a bit more.

Just at the most recent one we had some visitors from a much further inconvenient region they said they'd really missed these events.

So it's really inspiring when people come up to me and thank me for setting these up. People get to make friends and talk about fun things.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#372

Post by molsongolden » Wed, May 31, 2023, 1:54 AM UTC

carlosjobim wrote: post #247

osdoorp wrote: post #114

Volunteering. And before you brush it out skeptically, like "oh yeah right, those people", it really doesn't have to be anything you don't care about. I volunteer at a boat house on the city lake nearby, just putting kids on pedal boats and kayaks. I don't even call it volunteering, I just love kayaks and water. It's amazing how your perspective of time and people and service shifts, when you spend some time being "i…

I think volunteering gets brushed off because in many places it is just a pure scam. The organizations collect money and then charge volunteers exorbitant sums for the privilege of working for free. I looked at volunteering about 15 years ago and from what I saw then, I have never entertained the thought again.

^ This sometimes occurs with international volunteering programs ("voluntourism").

Lots of pitfalls and sad stories in that space. Most of the other comments here are discussing helping out with small local orgs which might not be what carlosjobim had in mind.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#373

Post by neverartful » Wed, May 31, 2023, 1:55 AM UTC

feanaro wrote: post #368

motohagiography wrote: post #349

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Specific rule is they can't solicit new members, as badly as they might wish to. You have to ask. The advice to check out multiple lodges is key, as they really are different. Most of the guys in mine have said they probably wouldn't have joined another one, so they're really that unique. A lot of them have pub nights and lunches where prospective members meet everyone, and having those is a good sign they're growing…

> When the work in masonry is good, it lets guys really, really shine. When it's weak, it's hard to watch, but seeing what any mason can do and how well he chooses to do it gives you a lot of perspective on where you are. I'm having trouble interpreting what you meant with this excerpt but it sounds interesting. Care to elaborate?

The 'work' in masonry refers to the ritual. There is some ritual involved just in opening and closing a regular meeting. However, there is a lot of ritual involved in the degrees. When the ritual for a degree is executed flawlessly, it's quite beautiful to behold. On the other hand, when those involved with the ritual aren't very good at it, it's quite painful to watch.

Edited - fix typo

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#374

Post by neverartful » Wed, May 31, 2023, 1:57 AM UTC

jamestimmins wrote: post #359

neverartful wrote: post #298

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It all depends on the lodge! Many lodges are struggling to stay alive and are desperate for new members. It's not uncommon to find a lodge of mostly really old men where they lose more (to deaths) than they gain from new members.

That's a bit of a fear of mine in checking it out tbh. "Desperate for new members" gives me some hesitancy.

It should give some hesitancy. However, not every lodge is desperate for new members (really!).

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#375

Post by michaelmior » Wed, May 31, 2023, 1:58 AM UTC

kulahan wrote: post #242

swat535 wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, I'm a practicing Catholic and attend Church often with my fiancee. Everyone is welcome to even attend Mass (they just don't receive communion) and participate in activities that we organize. We also have many support groups for elderly, grieving families, young adults and so on. Additionally, if you want to do volunteer work, contact the closest Catholic Church. You can join pretty much all of the events regardl…

Church is great for this specifically because it's a social group that spends all its time espousing the idea that all men are created equal, therefore ALL backgrounds are welcome. The most important piece of social mobility is knowing those outside of your economic circle. Example: You need a job, you know your great buddy Bob has a spot that you could hop into, he knows you pretty well and that you're not an idiot,…

> it's a social group that spends all its time espousing the idea that all men are created equal

I'm thankful that this is the case for my church, but unfortunately, that's not the case in a lot of churches.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#376

Post by carlosjobim » Wed, May 31, 2023, 1:59 AM UTC

mptest wrote: post #268

carlosjobim wrote: post #247

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think volunteering gets brushed off because in many places it is just a pure scam. The organizations collect money and then charge volunteers exorbitant sums for the privilege of working for free. I looked at volunteering about 15 years ago and from what I saw then, I have never entertained the thought again.

>In many places it is just a pure scam Seems a pretty overly strong statement, no? Is there any research in to percentage of non profit efforts that are/aren't legitimate? Can you elaborate on "what I saw then" that made you think it was indicative of the entire idea of volunteer work? I have had the opposite experience. All the best people in the world I've met have been volunteering for one thing or another. As a y…

> Can you elaborate on "what I saw then" that made you think it was indicative of the entire idea of volunteer work?

Yes, I was looking to do international volunteer work and used the internet to search for opportunities, since I knew nobody with experience. Fully willing to pay for my own travels of course. All I could find was programs where you had to pay thousands of dollars, your own food and your own board in order to volunteer. For a few weeks.

That is sadly as far as I got before dismissing the concept as a scam.

I decided to do another similar search right now, more than a decade later. Still seems like the same thing and this is what I get from opening all the search results from the first page:

"Volunteer Shark Conservation in Fiji for Teenagers Price: $4,470 USD for 2 weeks"

"Volunteer with Children in Fiji Price: $2,470 USD for 1 week"

"Volunteer Community Work in Fiji for Teenagers Price: $3,045 USD for 2 weeks"

"Childcare & Community Volunteer Work in Peru for Teenagers Price: $3,645 USD for 2 weeks"

"Affordable fees from $525 for 1 week"

"Volunteer in Africa with Agape completely affordable for our volunteers. Programmes from £675"

"Teach English abroad - Costa Rica USD 339 - That’s just USD 48 per day*..."

"Volunteer to assist in improving physical and mental health for women, girls and communities in Ghana, West Africa. Special offer! Get up to 25% off 1 week £ 1,645"

"Help children and families overcome severe poverty Inspire and guide youth to productive futures as a volunteer in Peru. 1 week $2956"

Honestly, I don't care for these grifters and scammers. Good luck to them.

There are probably hundreds of thousands of eager and able-bodied youths every year who would have loved to volunteer and help their fellow man (or animal), but could only find these scams and decided against doing such a thing. Better just get drunk in the hostel, at least that won't set them back thousands of dollars. Consider the loss.

I took a look at the United Nations. They offer two spots for youth volunteering: have to be 18-26 years old and with a bachelors degree and relevant experience. The volunteering spots are both in Mogadishu in Somalia. The description doesn't have any details about cost, so I guess these are actually free.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#377

Post by bluejellybean » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:00 AM UTC

AlbertCory wrote: post #341

silisili wrote: post #88

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

A cute friendly dog works wonders too.

I did just this a few days ago, it's incredible how many people will come up and ask to pet your dog. Some will keep moving quickly, others will talk about their own animals, and some will drop little hints about themselves to further a conversation. Aside from everything fun about a companion, it's really is a fantastic feeling to be able to see someones eyes light up, you're brightening up their day!

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#378

Post by carlosjobim » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:02 AM UTC

ericyd wrote: post #273

carlosjobim wrote: post #247

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think volunteering gets brushed off because in many places it is just a pure scam. The organizations collect money and then charge volunteers exorbitant sums for the privilege of working for free. I looked at volunteering about 15 years ago and from what I saw then, I have never entertained the thought again.

This is a bizarre account, and completely dissimilar to anything I've ever heard of or experienced. Any specific organizations you can recall that engaged in this practice?

Please see my reply to user mptest above (or below).

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#379

Post by dopidopHN » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:08 AM UTC

bombcar wrote: post #186

silisili wrote: post #88

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

It's sad that modern American yards are so unfriendly to sitting in your front yard, but that can be easily fixed, even within the boundaries of over-zealous HOAs or towns. Just make a cute little "gate" (it doesn't even need the gate) with flowers at the end of the walkway near the sidewalk, and add in a table and some chairs (or move them out when you go to sit). Being at the sidewalk vs being 20-40 feet away on a…

New Orleans has stups and porches. People use them. You have to meet your neighbors somehow.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#380

Post by Cody_C » Wed, May 31, 2023, 2:09 AM UTC

I'd say a hobby always does well to build up a group. I've had a great time meeting people riding dirt bikes and cycling. Gives you a good chance to do group rides and you'll be surprised how small of a world it is.

It can be intimidating to join at first but if you have one buddy you can go with or even one person in the group you can build rapport with it helps.

The biggest thing is you have to put yourself out there. It isn't always easy but, you have to realize most people are worried to strike up a conversation first. Being willing to do so is a game changer.

I'd also say don't completely forego making friends at work. You already have something in common and there is a big opportunity for a shared circumstance and hanging out together regularly. I've made great friends at work.