371–380 of 553 posts
Interviewing. I'm good at my good. My portfolio is at least decent, and I get a lot of responses on my resume, but I consistently can't close the deal. I also have a very hard time bettering myself with the lack of feedback. I've gotten better at all the stuff you can read about online and often made it to the final round, but I can't make it to an offer.
I’m 30 and haven’t really had much dating experience. It boggles my mind how people are already married by 30. How does dating work? Serious question.
I didn't go on my first date until a month before my 30th birthday. Met my eventual wife on OKCupid 18 months later, married her 2 years after that, and now have a 7 month old, ~7 years after it all started. I'll disagree with a lot of the advice given here. The pictures on online dating sites are what you make of them. I didn't even like my wife's pictures, I only messaged her because she was playing 4 truths and a…
Every day is a struggle. For several years I've struggled to learn enough Japanese for daily living. (Spouse is Japanese and we moved to Japan a few years ago with our 3 school-aged kids). Very little success on this. しょうがないね My wife is out of town anywhere between 3 days to 2 weeks each month for her job. While she is gone, we rely heavily on her parents (with whom I cannot communicate directly). They take care of l…
Seeing other ex-pats here without fluency, their lives are so much more difficult. Not quite as isolating for them, since there's a fairly large English-speaking expat community here, but still, seeing them struggle with the most basic things has given me newfound appreciation for the difficulties that immigrants to the US face while their English skills are weak.
I struggle with feeling like I never know enough. The more I learn the more it feels there is to know. As a result even as I learn more and more, I feel dumber and dumber :D
Which qualifies you to sit back, quit struggling, and chuckle at that dilemma you were (and so many are still) caught in.
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Social activities, like all others need to be practiced regularly to become good at them. Quick question, which produces better results, going to the gym, or thinking about going to the gym over and over in your head? How about public speaking? Think of it as a muscle to be exercised. An actor friend of mine described acting in the same manner.
But it just seems impossible to practice. I'm 21 years old and at this age everyone has a lot of expectations about their partners but I know that I cannot fulfill those expectations, exactly because of what you said (because I never practiced those muscles). It just feels very strongly like if I ever ask a girl out I'll just make a dick out of myself. Ok, see I'm NOT shy, if I see you in a conference, I'l talk to yo…
I hear people say — I'm already 30 and starting to exercise is too late, or that they're intimidated by other people at the gym, or that they don't know where to start. Having gone through a similar experience as yours, I gotta say you just have to start. Don't overthink it. You'll fail. Try again, keep at it, and eventually there'll be a breaking point.
Good luck.
I've been struggling with adulthood ever since turning 30 and starting a family. I have this image in my head of what life after 30 looks like from seeing my parents and all their friends doing basically the same thing as each other. It's not a life I want for myself, but every decision I make pushes me further and further in that direction. My mind has been programmed to think and act in a way that eventually lands…
I used to really hate the idea of me living an ordinary life, but I think at some point I realized trying to do extraordinary stuff was stressing me out way too much, and now I’m hard at work being as ordinary as possible. I think my goals have shifted from providing the best life for myself in the future to providing the best life for my child in the future, and I seem to be completely at peace with that.
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I can help you overcome the first part of that, right now: it's spelled "narcissism." :)
Do you know how to overcome autism?
I struggle with scaling up my business. I have been working from home for the past 10 years and I have websites that generate ok money ($100K/y). My struggle is I just can't get myself to hire my first full time employee. I tried it many years ago but after facing the headache of hiring, dealing with attrition, training, etc, it took away all my focus from work. I feel management is a skill I just don't have. Also wo…
I can relate to this. Try to find someone part time who you can trust and will stick around for awhile. Look outside your bubble of hackernews etc, might be a mom or a retired guy, whatever. Baby steps.
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I’m playing with the idea of quitting software , getting a softskills excel/MS word gov job for equal pay then only programming on spare time in elixir and tensor flow for fun side side projects —- current web dev environment is ridiculous !
> getting a softskills excel/MS word gov job for equal pay This is a great idea ( I sincerely mean it), and I too have been toying with this. Gov programming jobs are also very cushy. The knock on them ( / "cons" ) until recently was that they pay very less, almost 40% less, and that it's full of old people. But that has changed -- atleast in San Francisco and Bay Area where I live. Esp the City of San Francisco tech…
Now, if you're including the TSP (401k equivalent), maybe? That's 5%/year extra if you also contribute 5%. However, that's what you and the government put into the account, not what's available when you retire. Perhaps it works out to close to 3% average with some estimate of your TSP earnings? I never crunched those numbers.
Government salary ranges can be found at OPM. Look up the GS pay scale. Programmers will be GS-12 to GS-14 positions (most likely 12 or 13, 14 if you're a true subject matter expert, have a Phd, or maybe work at the right facility, otherwise 14s are management).
The other half of that is, when genetics and circumstance have such a crippling impact on one's ability to live a "normal life", how do you cope with it emotionally and spiritually? That's the more challenging half of what I struggle with.