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Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

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361–370 of 585 posts

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#361

Volunteering. And before you brush it out skeptically, like "oh yeah right, those people", it really doesn't have to be anything you don't care about. I volunteer at a boat house on the city lake nearby, just putting kids on pedal boats and kayaks. I don't even call it volunteering, I just love kayaks and water. It's amazing how your perspective of time and people and service shifts, when you spend some time being "i…

Same.

My wife and I started volunteering at the Zoo, and it's been an awesome experience!

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#362

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

Brilliant idea - I think I'll try this in my neighborhood and at work where people seem to be walking alone all the time

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#363

I run a Discord with my friend (@moconinja) for people in tech who want to play videogames at night and chill. We don't like drinking at bars so we built it. So far we have about 10 people, mostly are from Austin, TX but there're also others from all over the US. If you're interested, apply here - I will personally review your application and reach out :) [1]

howdy from HTX. I'm interested!

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#364
post #248
post #102

I live in Seattle, Cap Hill. Before I moved here and when I first moved here (from London) people told me that Seattle was a terrible place to make friends and build a community. My experience has been exactly the opposite; this has been the best place I've ever lived for making friends and building community, especially as a sober person. The order of importance, I have found community here in: - Swing dancing, both…

> Swing dancing Swing It Seattle? Me and my wife go to the wednesday dances :-)

The one and only! I'm there most Wednesdays and Saturdays too! If you're in the swing & things Discord group, I'm "jado"!

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#365
post #102

I live in Seattle, Cap Hill. Before I moved here and when I first moved here (from London) people told me that Seattle was a terrible place to make friends and build a community. My experience has been exactly the opposite; this has been the best place I've ever lived for making friends and building community, especially as a sober person. The order of importance, I have found community here in: - Swing dancing, both…

Oh! I'm on the east side. I've been attending Brazillian Zouk classes, but I've been interested in swing. Where do you go? And I completely agree about event organization! It really introduces you to a wider swath of people than your initial search may have turned up. Way to go!

Swing It Seattle has dances with live bands in Cap Hill at least once a week, and they also have multiple classes going on at any given time. Really pleasant environment, great people, can't recommend it enough!

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#367

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

I'm prepared for this to be an unpopular opinion, but I'm glad my neighbors don't do this. I know my neighbors well enough. We check each other's mail when they're away and will help out in other ways. But I have lots of friends to keep up with outside of my neighborhood -- people I have a lot in common with -- my neighbors, not so much. If they wanted to talk with me each time I saw them coming or going, I would lik…

Yeah there’s a Seinfeld for that

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kiss_Hello

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#368

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How does it work ? I always kind of assumed you had to be invited to join, that it was not something you can just go to and register ?

Specific rule is they can't solicit new members, as badly as they might wish to. You have to ask. The advice to check out multiple lodges is key, as they really are different. Most of the guys in mine have said they probably wouldn't have joined another one, so they're really that unique. A lot of them have pub nights and lunches where prospective members meet everyone, and having those is a good sign they're growing…

> When the work in masonry is good, it lets guys really, really shine. When it's weak, it's hard to watch, but seeing what any mason can do and how well he chooses to do it gives you a lot of perspective on where you are.

I'm having trouble interpreting what you meant with this excerpt but it sounds interesting. Care to elaborate?

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#370

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"To be one, ask one" is their common saying about how to join. There are 3 degrees (entered apprentice, fellow craft, and master mason). Typically, someone who wants to join a lodge will contact the secretary of the lodge to express their interest. The secretary should provide information on either 'stated communications' (regular meetings) or some informal event that would be conducive to meeting some of the members…

Can I ask why you are no longer a Mason? My great grandfather was a Mason, but having grown up Catholic I understand that there's a bit more nuance and trickiness behind it if I wanted to join. I've been curious about it for a while.

I want to preface my answer by saying that these were my experiences. It's very important to point out that not all lodges are the same and not all Grand Lodges (at the state level in US) are the same.

I have to give some context of how things are in the US. At its most basic level, Freemasonry is what you hear Masons refer to as the 'blue lodge'. The blue lodge has 3 degrees. There are a number of affiliated or 'appendant bodies' that tie into the Masonic family. The Scottish Rite has 32 degrees (and a 33rd degree that is bestowed on someone deserving after a number of years and much service). There is also the York Rite. I don't know much about the York Rite because I never belonged to it. Then there is the Shrine - the guys who wear the red fezzes and commonly participate in parades.

At one time, a Mason (3rd degree in blue lodge) had to first belong to either the Scottish Rite or the York Rite BEFORE they were eligible to join the Shrine. To be clear, only Masons can join the Shrine. Back in the early 2000s, the Shrine dropped the requirement that you also belong to either the Scottish Rite or York Rite. Why? Because it was another obstacle to getting new members and they (the Shrine) desperately needed new members to replace the ones who are dying.

[Stepping up on my Masonic soap box for a rant] The fundamental problem is that there are many who want to join the Shrine just for the fun and partying. (And speaking of fun and partying, they're the only ones who are allowed to have alcohol at their functions.) Remember me saying that to be a Shrine, you first have to be a Mason? Due to pressure from the Shrine, a significant number of lodges have resorted to one-day classes in order to obtain all 3 blue lodge degrees in a single day. Traditionally, they're given one at a time and then the person who received the degree must study and learn some 'proficiency work' that they must be able to demonstrate before being allowed to obtain the next degree. Usually, there is AT LEAST 1 MONTH between each of the 3 blue lodge degrees.

The blue lodge degrees are very special and a person who is planning to become a Master Mason (3rd degree in blue lodge) should be a part of the ritual for each degree. Why? Because it's a very special and solemn ritual and experiencing it first hand, it's easier to learn the proficiency work.

A 1-day class is where they round up about 20 guys and they're herded through the 3 degrees quickly. For each degree ritual, 1 person is selected to be the 'candidate' who actively participates in the ritual. The 19 others only watch it. They don't experience it.

The truth of the matter is that the Shrine has no real Masonic connection, yet they (the Shrine) still require their members to be Masons. So, they (the Shrine) push very hard to get 1-day classes to rush guys through so that they're then eligible to join the Shrine. The Shrine was the only affiliated organization that was allowed to have alcohol at any of their functions. Blue lodge wants to have a 'table lodge' with wine or beer? Forbidden!! This was true in the state where I was. It's possible that other states would allow it.

In summary, because of the Shrine's Masonic requirement for membership, they (the Shrine) watered down the blue lodge by: (1) 1-day classes, and (2) bringing guys through who had NO interest in Freemasonry, but were only there to have fun with the Shrine. [end of Masonic rant]

Additionally, there was lots of petty bickering. Freemasonry PROMISES a great deal! What you read about the fraternity is impressive. However, walking the walk is not nearly as common. I eventually had enough of it all and dropped out.

Again, what I described above is what I experienced in the state where I was (and I don't want to mention the state). It might be completely different in your state.

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