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Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#361

Post by mrfusion »

oceanman888 wrote: post #356
Sukotto wrote: post #349

Every day is a struggle. For several years I've struggled to learn enough Japanese for daily living. (Spouse is Japanese and we moved to Japan a few years ago with our 3 school-aged kids). Very little success on this. しょうがないね My wife is out of town anywhere between 3 days to 2 weeks each month for her job. While she is gone, we rely heavily on her parents (with whom I cannot communicate directly). They take care of l…

Seems you are suffering from what a lot of Japanese married man have, no one gives a shit about your problems except that you bring back the bills. There is a reasons people don't even date anymore here. Take some time for yourself and don't stop hustling.

Why don’t they date? Just curious.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#362

Post by snow_mac »

androidgirl wrote: post #22

Depression. I have a lot of social anxiety and I feel really isolated, my best friend passed two years ago which didn't make anything better. Isolation makes depression into a feedback loop, and it feels like you keep sinking deeper and deeper.

Zoloft... I use Zoloft and it has literally changed everything. I'm happier, easier to get along and things are better controlled

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#363

Post by ronald_raygun »

80386 wrote: post #30

I make I try to get at least one Git commit every day, but my job is pretty draining, so that doesn't happen. And sometimes all my projects get blocked on hard stuff that I don't have the energy to solve. For all I know, I might look alright on paper. I've co-authored a paper in a respectable journal, written a few Rails apps, a few desktop apps, and a crappy interpreter for an old language - which doesn't really use…

Here is what I'd recommend - buy a copy of cracking the code interview (its maybe 20-30$), and do every single problem (or most of them) in there by hand on paper.

Then reach out to some software devs you know and have them give you mock interviews (if you reach out to me I'd be more then willing to help).

Then you will be prepared to ace any big tech co interview. Apply to as many of these jobs as you can (I applied to over 100 and got a job at one of the FAANG). Or if that's not working, you could try something like TripleByte to get in the door

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#364

Post by snow_mac »

souprock wrote: post #287
Odenwaelder wrote: post #15

I struggle with the question whether to have children or not. I'm surrounded by new fathers who struggle with their children, whose wives have turned from attractive women into unattractive moms. I read witty comments all the time suggesting how much of a burden kids are. This struggle burns me out.

I'm at 11 kids now. The struggle and burden is real, though most people wrongly assume that it is a linear function of the number of kids. It isn't so bad. The first one upturns your life. The second and third are much less trouble. After that, the only thing you notice is when you outgrow a vehicle. I'm at a 15-passenger van now, which is hard to outgrow before the oldest kids learn to drive. Once you have a couple…

Have you heard of condoms?

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#365

Post by ksdale »

sp527 wrote: post #152
mrdependable wrote: post #31

I've been struggling with adulthood ever since turning 30 and starting a family. I have this image in my head of what life after 30 looks like from seeing my parents and all their friends doing basically the same thing as each other. It's not a life I want for myself, but every decision I make pushes me further and further in that direction. My mind has been programmed to think and act in a way that eventually lands…

I'm intentionally delaying marriage and kids partly for this reason. I think it's important to not feel like too much is left on the table before settling down. I'm 27 now and not planning to have kids until 35 at the earliest. A lot of it is that I'm only just evolving into the person I want to be (more disciplined, focused on the right objectives, happier, etc), and I want to capitalize on that. I studied pretty ha…

My wife and I actually used a similar thought process to decide to have kids at 25, haha! We decided that since we were going to spend the ages of 25 to 45 working our asses off regardless, we figured that we'd rather be done childrearing in our 40s instead of our 50s, then we'd have more money and life experience to draw on to really enjoy the the years before we're too old to be out and about much. In our case, we didn't want to take those later middle age years off the table.

That said, I definitely think your strategy is a good one. My parents had me around 35 and I know that their age and stability contributed a lot to an excellent childhood.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#366

Post by phakding »

Sukotto wrote: post #349

Every day is a struggle. For several years I've struggled to learn enough Japanese for daily living. (Spouse is Japanese and we moved to Japan a few years ago with our 3 school-aged kids). Very little success on this. しょうがないね My wife is out of town anywhere between 3 days to 2 weeks each month for her job. While she is gone, we rely heavily on her parents (with whom I cannot communicate directly). They take care of l…

> But here's the thing: As a man -- and especially as a white, English-speaking, North American man -- nobody gives a shit about my problems.

I migrated to different country from my birth country as well. You know what, nobody gave a shot about my problems in my home country and nobody does in my adopted country.

I am very independent, but few times when I leaned on someone they totally failed me (not intentionally), so I don't even expect anything from anyone.

It's libersting to know exactly what I am capable of because there's no one else in the equation.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#367

Post by etatoby »

kotrunga wrote: post #37
etatoby wrote: post #26

Long-term: dating/relationships. I'm very outgoing, but I have love shyness or something like that. I basically don't date. I find the entire thing extremely stressful and unbearable. I've always been alone. Short-term: not much! I recently dropped everything and moved to the other side of the globe (Japan) on a student visa. I'm studying a very interesting language and culture and making friends with people from all…

Are you at a language school? I started learning Japanese recently, and would love to move there one day.

Yes, Intercultural Institute of Japan. Awesome school, from all points of view.

You need someone to work out the papers and details for you. That can be your local language school, if you have one, or an international service such as Go Go Nihon.

I strongly recommend getting good at hiragana, katakana, and learning the writing (not the reading) of all 2,200 common kanji before coming here. It will make a huge difference in your rate of learning.

I would focus on that, because they already cover grammar and vocabulary at a reasonable pace here at school. I used Heisig's book and the excellent Kanji Koohii website/progressive app. It's a long business, but not hard at all. It just takes time and dedication, say 1–2 hours every day for several months. But you can and should split that time into small chunks all throughout the day. Basically, whenever you're not actively working, sleeping, or driving, take out your phone and use that app.

Also, if English is your 1st language, get a pronunciation coach. The vowels and many consonants are completely different. If you happen to be Italian, then you're in luck, because we have 99% the same sounds as Japanese. (Only the U is slightly different.)

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#368

Post by stevenwoo »

sp527 wrote: post #145
_sword wrote: post #114

Pivoting my career and figuring out how to enjoy life again. I’ve been working on Wall Street for the past 4-5 years in a front office role and am apparently good at what I do, though I don’t find the work fulfilling or interesting. I’m strongly considering going back to school to focus on more technical fields where I believe my passion lies, but it’s a daunting task when I also have career prospects with my current…

Protip: Strongly consider moving to Venice Beach, CA or similar. If you're trying to escape the Manhattan grind (would strongly advise) and revamp your life to focus on happiness, there are few better places I can think of.

Genuinely curious what's in Venice Beach for the poster? I only know it from the facsimile presented in Grand Theft Auto and TV shows and movies.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#369

Post by mkoryak »

ronald_raygun wrote: post #363
80386 wrote: post #30

I make I try to get at least one Git commit every day, but my job is pretty draining, so that doesn't happen. And sometimes all my projects get blocked on hard stuff that I don't have the energy to solve. For all I know, I might look alright on paper. I've co-authored a paper in a respectable journal, written a few Rails apps, a few desktop apps, and a crappy interpreter for an old language - which doesn't really use…

Here is what I'd recommend - buy a copy of cracking the code interview (its maybe 20-30$), and do every single problem (or most of them) in there by hand on paper. Then reach out to some software devs you know and have them give you mock interviews (if you reach out to me I'd be more then willing to help). Then you will be prepared to ace any big tech co interview. Apply to as many of these jobs as you can (I applied…

have you heard of interviewing.io for mock interviews? One of my friends is hooked on that site for giving interviews. If I ever have to interview again, I am going to use that site for a few weeks first.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#370

Post by movedx »

Sukotto wrote: post #349

Every day is a struggle. For several years I've struggled to learn enough Japanese for daily living. (Spouse is Japanese and we moved to Japan a few years ago with our 3 school-aged kids). Very little success on this. しょうがないね My wife is out of town anywhere between 3 days to 2 weeks each month for her job. While she is gone, we rely heavily on her parents (with whom I cannot communicate directly). They take care of l…

It'll be hard, but you'll need to get to N2 grade Japanese skills (business level) to be taken seriously. Look at Japanese Pod 101 - it's pretty good.

Don't expect to ever get to N1. Virtually impossible.

Also never expect to become a Japanese citizen (i.e. get a passport) or even be accepted in society at large - it won't happen.

I know everything I'm saying is negative and just makes me look like a party pooper, but I think you deserve straight forward advice on this front.

Good luck.

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