Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#341

Post by thecolorblue » Thu, Jul 07, 2022, 4:08 PM UTC

There is a lot of good advice here, and there is some elsewhere on the internet, but the big thing for me to figure out was that it was up to myself and my partner to figure out what works.

A good example that will be relevant later for you: we started out being very strict about screen time. Then we figured out there was a lot of great educational content out there they they love to watch. My oldest (5) is ahead in math, and if you ask her she will tell you it is because of the show Number Blocks on CBeebies, which she watches on netflix.

However you decide to feed you child, just make sure to check in with a doctor and yourself regularly to make sure it is working. I would say sleeping and eating are the most important things early on.

There is a whole industry out there to help you be a parent but they are almost always just time savers for you. The best solution is to spend time with your child.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#342

Post by ruh-roh » Thu, Jul 07, 2022, 10:43 PM UTC

uniqueuid wrote: post #6

Great question. Read the answers but remember that it's wildly different for everybody. That said: The life and death matters (sorry): - Never shake your kid, ever - Sudden infant death is partly genetic (not your risk/fault), but still: no toys, pillows, plush animals in the crib -> risk of suffocating The luxury matters: - Breastfeeding does make a difference. If you can manage, try to do it - Don't worry. Whatever…

> Don't project into the future. What is now is not indicative of the future.

This is fantastic.

Nobody cares that the neighbor kid started walking at 8 months while yours hasn't yet. It doesn't mean anything. You'll barely remember yourself in a year or two.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#343

Post by Handytinge » Sat, Jul 16, 2022, 2:05 AM UTC

kaybe wrote: post #67

lewisjoe wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I regret not asking for a c-section explicitly. Coming from a traditional south-indian background I hesitated electing a c-section beforehand, trusting the doctor will take the best decisions based on the situation. I was wrong. The doctor pushed it too far and my baby had to be NICU-ed for a couple of days and even worse, I still have PTSD witnessing the trauma my spouse had to go through. I should have simply liste…

What did your spouse want? Was she out of commission? If you're not the one giving birth and not the responsible doctor it's not your call to make, is it?

Not every culture is the same as yours, and yours is not correct in all occasions.