Ask HN: How are you holding up? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#341

Post by ryandrake » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 6:37 PM UTC

Very bimodal range of responses! People are either loving this or are having the worst experiences of their lives. Seems that the key driver of whether people are enjoying this or not is 1. whether they are still employed and 2. whether they have a life outside of work. The people whose only friends are co-workers and who wrap their entire identity up in their work are probably in a pretty bad place right now.

Personally, I'm in the "love" camp. I have gotten ~5 hours of my each day back due to not having to commute, which is 5 more hours for my family, my hobbies, outdoor activity, etc. It's great. I'm getting so many things done and fixed around the house. Making a lot of progress on wood working and metal working hobbies. Taking time to exercise and get outside more. My work schedule has remained pretty much the same but minus the commute it's like I have a second life to fill with things to do! I'm an extrovert, so I thought WFH would be a real bummer and drag, but the benefits are vastly outweighing the drawbacks of fewer human interactions.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#342

Post by y-c-o-m-b » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 6:40 PM UTC

bargl wrote: post #328

y-c-o-m-b wrote: post #323

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this remote? I've considered consulting in the past, but most positions require considerable amounts of travel. > It can be PAINFUL Can you provide some examples?

I've had 100% on-site. I've had one where they let me do remote 2 days a week. My current company (I went FTE) allows full time remote for Consultants. You just have to look harder to find these. As a consultant, you aren't a stakeholder technically. You are a coder-for-hire. You aren't typically going to maintain the application so you're more of an advisor. This is awesome because as an advisor, you can make some g…

Thanks for taking the time to answer. Sounds like it's been mostly a medium for finding desirable FTE positions for you. I think I just have the wrong idea of consulting. I've thought of it as guiding clients towards a specific tech stack and not so much writing code, but doesn't seem like that's a realistic view of it judging by what you've told me.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#343

Post by shoes_for_thee » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 6:59 PM UTC

thewhitetulip wrote: post #38

Okayish. I am a 'nerd' who loves 'staying indoors' and doesn't like to go in crowded areas. Until I was forced to stay indoors for months. I used to exercise regulary, gym/yoga/skipping/running before the lockdown. But during the lockdown, it has all gone to hell. I eat, work and sleep. I used to watch a lot of tv shows but I cancelled all subscriptions. But, on the other hand, I have begun writing stories. I had aba…

tell me more about your skipping-for-exercise routine

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#344

Post by throwaway131313 » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:07 PM UTC

Not too great.

Have been working on a startup idea as a solo developer for some time and everything was on track. MVP was almost complete and had a verbal agreement with an investor for a pre-seed investment which was going to allow me to fund a solid team (the team was ready to go as well). Then the pandemic hit. Investor bailed out, my personal savings got dried up as I've been funding myself for some time and bills started piling up.

Still pushed forward, got the MVP ready and collected some solid leads to reach out to. Yet, beyond this it's all pitch black as I got to find freelance gigs to pay the rent - which is not going well either - meanwhile pursuing clients, doing development, doing marketing, fixing bugs and a whole bunch of other things for my startup. It's a constant stream of fires that are waiting to be put out.

Have never been one to quit and don't think I will this time either but just giving up, giving up everything looks way too attractive.

Throwaway, because I don't really feel comfortable talking about these issues publicly. Thank you OP for asking, had been looking for an opportunity to vent. Hope we'll all pull through these terrible times.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#345

Post by allenu » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:17 PM UTC

gqxhoqvpnb wrote: post #178

Pretty terrible. I have no prospects, my startups all failed, I've lost most of my money (lost about $2m that I saved over 10 years and earned from previous startups which I managed to cash out). I tried to go the VC route, but no investors wanted to talk to me, so I spent my own money instead and now I'm broke. I need to find a job, but because I'm highly experienced and older (35 y/o), most companies see me as expe…

Hey, I'm sorry to hear things are terrible. I'm not sure it helps, but I highly recommend reading up on self-compassion. It helped me realize that I was beating myself up all the time and not accepting that it's okay to have failures.

Everyone has failures. That's normal and totally human. It's important to recognize that it's okay for things not to go the way you wanted. It's a small step, but I think just recognizing that will help free up a load on your shoulders. Start there and try to focus less on what opportunities are "gone".

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#346

Post by davidshepherd7 » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:17 PM UTC

thom wrote: post #72

Keep expecting it to get easier but being stuck with a toddler and two older kids with 1.5 jobs between me and my wife has been tough. It's exhausting, there's basically no downtime, and we end up in spirals of shame and guilt at being terrible parents, partners, employees. All of this to a constant backdrop of fear and uncertainty, trying to balance sanity with following the rules and the science, trying to mediate…

> It's exhausting, there's basically no downtime, and we end up in spirals of shame and guilt at being terrible parents, partners, employees. .... our kids are sat in pyjamas on the Nintendo Switch at 2pm ...

I've been reading "Selfish reasons to have more kids" (Brian Caplan) recently in semi-preparation for becoming a parent, and, well I'll just quote the book summary

> We've needlessly turned parenting into an unpleasant chore. Parents invest more time and money in their kids than ever, but the shocking lesson of twin and adoption research is that upbringing is much less important than genetics in the long run. These revelations have surprising implications for how we parent and how we spend time with our kids. The big lesson: Mold your kids less and enjoy your life more. Your kids will still turn out fine.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#347

Post by softawre » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:20 PM UTC

gqxhoqvpnb wrote: post #178

Pretty terrible. I have no prospects, my startups all failed, I've lost most of my money (lost about $2m that I saved over 10 years and earned from previous startups which I managed to cash out). I tried to go the VC route, but no investors wanted to talk to me, so I spent my own money instead and now I'm broke. I need to find a job, but because I'm highly experienced and older (35 y/o), most companies see me as expe…

What is your definition of rich? What do you really want?

It sounds to me like you already made it once. For most people, having $2m is enough to never really worry about money again. You could take double the median US salary from that sum, forever, without lifting a finger.

You did it once and you can do it again.

I can't really get behind the idea that companies don't value people with decent experience. Hell, you are 35, you are barely mid-career. Lots of companies are paying 50-60 year olds more than you would be paid because they have higher productivity than you.

You did it once, you can do it again. Don't give up.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#348

Post by divbzero » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:22 PM UTC

screye wrote: post #16

Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…

> On the bright side, I have no suicidal thoughts. None of my relationships have been destroyed (yet). I still have my job and I know the cause of my current state is temporary. I've started therapy, which should start helping any moment now. Covid has affected people in worse ways, so I'm quietly trudging along.

All the best! Thanks for sharing and keep on keeping on. We’re all there with you.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#349

Post by zo1 » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:24 PM UTC

z3le wrote: post #310

virtue3 wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recommend detoxing on the FB poison. It's not real life. It's all pretend. That shit is basically guaranteed to make you feel worse about yourself. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids!

Once I limited my time on FB I felt better, it is really affecting your mental state. Unfortunately I have friends that I will forever lost contact with so I can't delete my profile. I deleted the app from my phone and logged out from everywhere except from 1 pc that I usually don't use. Now I am going on FB at most once a week for 10 mins. It has improved my life a lot.

Tip to surviving Facebook: If you must go through your feed, immediately start "hiding" toxic/hateful individuals that post nothing but bad content. If an individual only sometimes does so, start hiding their sources. E.g. If you see some friend that happens to post bad stuff from CNN or Breitbart and the content from that source upsets you but you want to see that friend's other content, then hide the page they're "sharing" from.

Most of the time, people don't post original links/content, so it's a "share" from an existing page that you can hide.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#350

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 7:25 PM UTC

iMark wrote: post #22

Years ago, I visited the zoo in Central Park in NYC and watched a polar bear, as it swam around and around in a pool. It swam in a triangle, touching the three same points on the wall of the enclosure as it made each circuit. Last month I walked around Greenwich Park in London 125 times, each time following exactly the same route. I thought about that polar bear a lot as I walked.

[deleted]