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Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

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Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#341
post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>As a side note don't ever play MOBA games. You'll get hooked so bad you'll have very little time to do any personal development and will have trouble enjoying any other games you enjoyed previously. 5000+ hours of DOTA2, started playing DOTA in 2005, played lots of HON and LOL too, confirmed. I was able to quit for 6 months, which was the longest I'd ever stopped playing, but relapsed recently. I don't even enjoy pl…

I migrated to pubg from hon. RIP HON :(

I miss Nomad and Aluna and Predator even though Predator is basically Huskar. I also heard Fortnight recently overtook PUBG.. and they're not even in China yet.

Wise advice OP.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#342
It could certainly be ADHD-PI/ADD, as it is very underdiagnosed, especially amongs people with (otherwise) above average cognitive abilities, more so if they are men. It can be very debilitating.

There is a sort of very non-scientific test you can use to gauge the probability of ADD/ADHD, in my experience, quite reliably.

— Would you agree that being really bored is better described as somehow painful, in an almost physical sense, than anything else you can come up with to describe it?

If yes, it's my experience, and that of a few others as me with ADD/ADHD that the only other people that tend to consider it at least -possible- that one can actually experience something closely related to pain when bored, is those that either are already diagnosed, or will be in a few years. Haven't been wrong once, yet.

Apparently it's so hard to understand for most people, that it's very common that even doctors and nurses working with ADD/ADHD have a hard time to undertake the concept, many appear tp outright reject it. As if anything but pain could stop you from applying yourself, even to the things you love, or loved yesterday.

I can elaborate a lot more, leave a comment if you're interested, and I'll TRY to get back to you tomorrow. But as you are probably aware, there is a significant risk I've forgotten all about it tomorrow.

Best of luck!

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#343
It was like this for me when I tried to do a PhD. Since I'm working in software development it's hard for me to stop working in the evening.

What applied to me might not apply to you.

But changing my occupation to something I really want did definitely help.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#344
Hi!

You may just score low on the contientiousness scale of the big five, do this test and see!

https://www.understandmyself.com/

If you score low on that dimension of personality, routine does not come easily to you by nature of your personality. It's not bad per-se but it means it will be harder for you to make and keep a schedule (which apparently is the advice for people low in that dimension).

I score low, and as a result I always have to keep on top of myself. I thought it was bad and carried a lot of guilt about it because I thought it should 'be easy'.

Send me an email if you want to discuss privately (ryan at 137 dot ms).

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#346

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How does CBT apply to task focus and work completion? All the literature I've seen is for dealing with emotional issues (important, but not applicable to tasks IMO). I'm asking because I am interested in effective solutions, not to be an internet contrarian.

I'm interested in an answer to this as well. Though I wouldn't be surprised if the avoidance of work is ultimately an emotional issue.

Usually under the headers of perfectionism and anxiety. All or nothing thinking, negative thoughts, etc. Lots of people apparently hate the term 'perfectionism' but it fits quite well as the term is used in the field.

Just a quick search but this link probably gives as decent insight into it as any:

http://www.timeiam.org/perfectionism---the-all-or-nothing-mi...

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#347
I can relate. I've probably tried the vast majority of the motivation 'hacks' recommended by the other posters in this thread with varying amounts of success and failure.

The #1 thing I think that anyone in this situation, or any self-improvement challenging situation, should do is to understand themselves fully - what makes you tick, what do you like, dislike, etc.? Beware: this is not a 5-minute task; we could be talking years here. Once you feel like you have a handle on it, or along the way, try out different approaches. (As much as I love the word 'hack', I really shouldn't call them that because you could very well be using it indefinitely.)

--- For me personally, one thing that I've never truly tried is a commitment contract. I've long known about services like Beeminder and StickK, but I never actually fully tried one (where you commit with real money). That changed recently when I discovered a framework for classifying people called The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.

Folks like us mostly fall into the category of "Obligers", people who meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves. And one way to beat that is to create parameters (like a commitment contract) that force you into action.

I recently (~6 weeks ago) created a goal on Beeminder and after falling off the wagon tout-de-suite and having to pay up ($5 initially), I haven't derailed since (my current penalty is $10). I know, not an earth-shattering amount of money, for some reason it's keeping me honest.

It's probably too early to tell if this is going to work long-term, but even this feels longer than I've stuck with other methods. I encourage you to check out Rubin's blog posts, interviews [1, 2] and/or podcasts. There's even a book and a quiz, but I learned enough from a single interview to get started.

[1] http://www.businessinsider.com/gretchen-rubin-the-four-tende... [2] https://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2017/09/12/gretchen...

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#348
Hard work is not a virtue and only a necessary evil. I think the human has never been evolved to work as we do today. We experience stress very often at work, but stress mechanism has been evolved to literally save your life when you need to fight or flight. Your mind naturally holds you back.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#350
Find a therapist. Maybe talk to your GP or primary care doc. In technical terms, take a look at your requirements. Are they obtuse? well defined? Is the customer asking too much and you know that but didn't tell them? These long term tasks (building an app etc).. those require insight. You might self-sabatoge because you know the insight is not there. But the one way out of that is to do this: your code/app/software may not be a global solution and make you rich but a stepping stone along the way to making it so. That's it. Simple. Do the work, practice. For those interviewing.. Do you the algorithms, leet code. Just do it.
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