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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

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Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#331

Post by maverick_iceman »

abrookewood wrote: post #268
lemonsqueeze wrote: post #206

Do not talk it over with your wife. It won't go well. And if it does.... she will see you as weak and eventually leave you (80% of marriages are terminated by the woman) You are the captain and you can rely on the people for support like your family and close friends. You tell her what you decided, and act like it's no big deal to you and she won't think it's a big deal either. If she does act like it's a big deal, t…

Seriously, WTF? I don't know if this is a cultural thing, but you are projecting a whole lot of stuff on this guy's marriage that you know NOTHING about. If I was in the same situation, the first person I would be talking to would be my wife - you know ... the person I married because they know me better than anyone else in the world and who's opinion matters more to me than anyone else's.

I think GP gets all his relationship advice from /r/redpill.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#332

Post by babyrainbow »

jakelazaroff wrote: post #312
lemonsqueeze2 wrote: post #308

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey there White Knight. Don't tell me to get out or stop expressing a valid viewpoint. Your attitude of censorship betrays your position.

> Your attitude of censorship betrays your position. And your spouting sexist comments cowering behind an hour old throwaway account with negative karma betrays how disgusting you are. Delete your throwaway, delete your real account and get out of this community. You're not welcome here.

Speak for yourself pal. Not for the entire "community"...

Speaking from a throwaway is perfectly fine. Having negative karma, is perfectly fine too. It is even better than having a huge karma count..As someone said "Whenever you find yourself with the majority, it is time to stop and reflect". It is true in HN as it is anywhere else....

So better not shame people for their "negative karma" and using a throwaway..

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#333

Post by babyrainbow »

ShabbosGoy wrote: post #325
babyrainbow wrote: post #261

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The real sad thing here is that some people are seeing sex with their wives as a "favour", something like a one sided affair....

Come now. I'm sure everyone remembers their parents sleeping in different rooms after a certain amount of time. If one partner's libido decreases before the other's, it may very well be a favor for the partner whose libido has decreased. Nothing wrong with that, and if it's a healthy relationship, both partners will not mind doing favors for one another...

Sure. But why should anyone assume that is the case here?

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#334

Post by owens99 »

There's a lot of great advice here on what to do. The one thing I want to add is see a doctor for your depression. It sounds like everything in your business is going well and you should be proud of yourself, yet personally you feel at the lowest point. Burn out is real and happens to most entrepreneurs who go the distance. When you get depressed, your mind focuses on negative memories and situations and you get trapped in a train of negative thought. Even though, almost every negative memory can be thought of in a positive way. There was one time where I felt like you do, and after working on my depression I was able to recognize the negative thoughts in my mind and start to look at them in a different way. Once this happened I felt like a completely new person and was able to look at the same data in a different way that made me feel empowered and hopeful. Depression will destroy you if you don't get it treated. Happiness is a conscious decision and you can recover from your burn out if you shift your perspective.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#336

Post by focii_e »

Been there. One of the biggest mistakes I made was thinking people are indispensable, I was indispensable. I thought after I walked out of the door, the company would fall apart. Nope. A successful organization often has multiple roots for productivity and success. So here is the advice if you like, take a month long break. Have the cashflow taken care of, and ensure customers are treated well in your absence. Rest can be fixed if it falls apart. A month break and you will not only want to go back but will probably redefine where the organization should be in a few years. A month long breaks, that is all it takes.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#337

Post by wetyareyjrut »

endlessvoid94 wrote: post #144

How big is the company? You're right to identify this as a hard problem. I've been in your exact shoes before. 100+ person company, the weight is heavy. The good news is that it's totally possible to get out without wrecking the company's outlook. But it does take a minor amount of time investment. Perhaps it's possible to view it as a new challenge: how to quickly hire or find someone within your org who is capable…

> Give them a (small) comp bump

If you did this to me I'd give you the finger and find another job.

You want me to take over running the company - you'd better be ready to give me a large increase in compensation.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#338

Post by bitL »

Don't talk to your wife about it, you'll show her a weakness, she will start subconsciously resent you, become colder and distant and your stress will double. She has you as her rock, she doesn't want a weak man to rely on.

Start instead some sport, take care of your body (try sauna + cold baths together), eat brain-boosting supplements, kick out sugar/flour-based food for a month, switch your phone off for 4 hours during work day and tell everyone about your reachability, start learning something on a side which makes you happy. You have a happiness deficit; do something you always wanted to do though don't overdo it, and allow yourself to be a bit happy for no reason ;-)

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#339

Post by leandot »

My sincere 2 cents: 1) talk to your wife 2) get the best deal out of your pending acquisition - highest cash component upfront 3) find and train someone to take your place 4) at that point check if you are still so unhappy - leave or stay 5) do what makes you happy

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#340

Post by idlewords »

bitL wrote: post #338

Don't talk to your wife about it, you'll show her a weakness, she will start subconsciously resent you, become colder and distant and your stress will double. She has you as her rock, she doesn't want a weak man to rely on. Start instead some sport, take care of your body (try sauna + cold baths together), eat brain-boosting supplements, kick out sugar/flour-based food for a month, switch your phone off for 4 hours d…

Strong men don't take relationship advice from HN, though... paradox!
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