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I really liked your probe ... and yes freebsd-update(8) may be useful for small updates from -pX to -pY but large updates like from 12.1 to 12.2 are real PITA.
The HardenedBSD (FreeBSD fork) made its own hbsd-update(8) tool which just fetches whole new OS and after extraction installs/updates needed things. But its PITA for small updates :)
Sorry to hear you have bad experiences with FreeBSD Froums ... but to be honest I do not often go there now - just ocasional visits.
I used to love BSD forums when the BSDForums.org existed. Then we started over with DaemonFroums.org as BSDForums.org was shutdown by some asshole admin ... and not long ago official FreeBSD Forums appeared.
Not sure why they (at FreeBSD Forums) would chase you as you provided really nice solution/frontend to freebsd-update(8) tool.
Regards, vermaden