Seems less bad to me than the year or so that followed 9/11. Bad and bad enough though.
9/11 was definitely more localized to New York and maybe America. But the pandemic has been the first major crisis at a global scale for this generation.
Ask HN: How are you holding up?
321–330 of 398 posts
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#322I'm sorry, I don't wanna complain. Neither me nor any of my loved ones have been made sick by the virus. Very few have lost their jobs, and I and they live in a country where the social safety net is strong. I shouldn't complain.
But since you asked. I'm not holding up. I was already pretty deep in a semi-regular depression valley, triggered by some bad decisions regarding relocation and leaving a line of work. In hindsight, I was stupid. Then covid took away the little social life I had in my new location. And made the future so damn uncertain. And showed me how brittle everything is, how even if you do everything just right, it can all come crumbling down at any time. I'm not even doing anything right. I've managed to build up a good skillset and a good degree and an OK CV, but only through sheer luck. I now have none of the drive that made me able to obtain those things. Nothing pushes me anymore. If I could get back on track, this whole covid and the crumbling of liberal democracy situation has shown that it can still all come crashing down at any point.
What's the point. If I could barely "make it" when I was younger, had a fire lit in me, a large social circle, etc., how am I going to have a chance when I get older every day, there's barely an ember in my soul, my poor decisions have physically distanced me from my close friends (and hell, we all know those things disintegrate with age anyway, it was all existing on loaned time, making younger and younger friends to compensate). I'm so close to giving up. Don't take it the wrong way. Life isn't pain yet, so I'll go on slogging, but I'm close to stopping struggling and just let it slide into a gray monotony. The longing for a fire and a desire is so painful that it's better to just forget about it. To just go with safe. Lock it down. Time to grow up, I guess. In my mid-30s. I don't like this, one bit. I really don't fit in in society. Which would be charming if I were a risk-taking adventurer who "lived life to its fullest". But no, I'm deeply risk-averse at heart. Luck and great people put me into niches where I blossomed. It's all charming when you're in your mid 20s and you're "promising".
And yes, I am going to therapy. I'm learning a lot, but it's not "helping".
I'm so tired.
Thanks for listening.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#323Pretty terrible. I have no prospects, my startups all failed, I've lost most of my money (lost about $2m that I saved over 10 years and earned from previous startups which I managed to cash out). I tried to go the VC route, but no investors wanted to talk to me, so I spent my own money instead and now I'm broke. I need to find a job, but because I'm highly experienced and older (35 y/o), most companies see me as expe…
Hey, Reach out to some consultancies. I really like AIM consulting. I know it's tough right now, but the nice thing about consulting is they bring in experts they want to teach them and kick ass. Opinionated, well spoken people tend to do really well in consultancies. Find companies that do cool things and be part of them. You can also gain experience while moving around and helping non-tech companies come up to spee…
Is this remote? I've considered consulting in the past, but most positions require considerable amounts of travel.
> It can be PAINFUL
Can you provide some examples?
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#324Earlier quoted context omitted.
It never ceases to amaze me how different people are. For me, all effects have been the exact opposite. Less going out, so more cooking and healthier eating. Less tired from open office noise, so more energy for sports. More free time without commute, so I picked up some long forgotten hobbies again. This means my advice might not apply to you, but if I may still recommend one thing: ignore most of the news for a whi…
> the US India :( (though I stay in the US) We just had a minor skirmish with China with around 60 deaths total. The messaging from China is very similar to the run-up to the 1962 war.
There's no forward policy this time and diplomacy is being prioritised from both sides.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#325Keep expecting it to get easier but being stuck with a toddler and two older kids with 1.5 jobs between me and my wife has been tough. It's exhausting, there's basically no downtime, and we end up in spirals of shame and guilt at being terrible parents, partners, employees. All of this to a constant backdrop of fear and uncertainty, trying to balance sanity with following the rules and the science, trying to mediate…
Posts like this have definitely made me wonder whether quarantine is harder on people living alone or people with families. Probably comes down to the specifics of the person and their relationships.
I live alone and generally enjoy my private life, but not having the option to see other people or share any amount of physical intimacy (even something as simple as a quick huge with a friend) has definitely been horrible on my mental health. People aren't meant to be alone this much (even for introverts) and there's a lot of evidence showing lack of physical touch can cause depression.
But how would I have handled the stress of spending all this time in a small place with multiple people, or taking care of kids? On the one hand, it sounds incredibly challenging and relationship testing, especially for an introvert. But on the other, I find myself jealous of those that can hug their kids or their SO multiple times a day, where I haven't even had a handshake since March 15th.
I guess it's hard on all of us, in unique ways.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#326Earlier quoted context omitted.
This isn't meant to be a provocative question: What's the messaging from India been like?
India is actually being quite slow in their response. The general feeling seems to be that India doesn't want escalation, but also do not want to be seen as being bullied by China. The situation right now is being described as 'tense but calm'. China changed all of the nation's maps to now include an added claim on a new piece of land in Ladakh. China also works very closely with their new proxy Govt (Oli's Nepal). S…
They have been claiming Arunachal Pradesh from a long time.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#327Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…
> My anti-tribal-free-speech-absolutist and pro-equality-altruistic self have put me in a moral crisis as the BLM movement has picked up What does this mean?
> anti-tribal + free-speech-absolutist
I think that free-speech is a central tenet of modern society and the source of future progress. I am strongly anti-tribal. I do not associate with groups, isms or movements. I like to purely talk issues and like to evaluate ideas for their individual merit and not based on who says them.
> pro-equality = altruistic
Pretty self explanatory. Generally socialist leanings borne from wanting to provide equality of opportunity and measurably fair treatment to all.
_______
I support most of BLM's policy goals. I believe there needs to be more awareness about racism. I think holding racists and people in power accountable is important. Police reform, removing qualified immunity, mandated cameras and reforming the criminal justice system.
However, I refuse to align myself to the movement itself. Because an agenda-less and leaderless movement can go in any direction any time. A great example is how the Gamer-gate movement took a strong turn away from 'ethical journalism in gaming' to 'racist hatred of women' within the span of six months. Religion is an excellent example of how tribes demand loyalty.
Many of the top thinkers within the BLM movement see violent protests as an inevitable part and many allies endorse violent revolution. I do not yet know if I agree on those matters. I do not want to sign up for buffet of opinions where I have to mandatorily eat every dish. I prefer to have my opinion a-la-carte.
Each of these issues are important but they have a ton of nuance. To find a good solution, we need free speech. We need people with contrary opinions to be able to challenge the protestors and through the friction there will emerge solution.
But, all groups (including ones of my peers) are increasingly moving towards hiveminds of agreement where the In-Group-Contrarian must be destroyed.
There is a reason it has me so rattled. I have yet to truly sort out my opinions on the whole matter at large.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#328Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hey, Reach out to some consultancies. I really like AIM consulting. I know it's tough right now, but the nice thing about consulting is they bring in experts they want to teach them and kick ass. Opinionated, well spoken people tend to do really well in consultancies. Find companies that do cool things and be part of them. You can also gain experience while moving around and helping non-tech companies come up to spee…
Is this remote? I've considered consulting in the past, but most positions require considerable amounts of travel. > It can be PAINFUL Can you provide some examples?
I've had 100% on-site. I've had one where they let me do remote 2 days a week. My current company (I went FTE) allows full time remote for Consultants. You just have to look harder to find these.
As a consultant, you aren't a stakeholder technically. You are a coder-for-hire. You aren't typically going to maintain the application so you're more of an advisor. This is awesome because as an advisor, you can make some great suggestions, but in the end you do it how they tell you to or you find another gig. What I've found is, if they don't listen to me or accept input for change I'm not interested. Those are typically painful but short consultancies. If they do take advice, then I frequently convert to see the project all the way through.
I've had situations where I can't wait for the contract to be over, and as you've guessed ones that are awesome and I convert over, or extend to stay on longer.
You can also get into consulting to the point that you're part of a team which is hired to build something for the company. These can be awesome because then you're a stakeholder and yet free of some of the internal politics of a company.
Anyway, I love consulting, but I also love the stability of FTE. I've found that consulting has been a great way for me to find FTE opportunities that I prefer over just interviewing.
EDIT: The most pain happens when the consultancy you're working with doesn't communicate well with the client, so you get put in the middle and have to server two bosses who are in opposition. The best cases you have one clear boss, but another clear tasking manager at the client. In these cases positive feedback flows to your manager and negative feedback should be minimal but direct.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#329Earlier quoted context omitted.
This pandemic is probably the worst human catastrophe since ww2.
What? Less than half a million deaths so far. Pretty serious, but definitely not the worst human catastrophe since WW2. There are a few dozen wars, civil wars, and genocides over the last 70 years that resulted in more than half a million deaths. Plus of course much non-death related suffering. Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran-Iraq, Syria, Sudan, Rwanda, Ethiopia, Congo. Plus some real stand-outs, like the Korean War (2M - 3M…
There's also something that seems mentally different about a pandemic rather than a war. Diseases are horrific and it's one of the great tragedies that we weren't able to contain this one. But something about deaths from a natural cause like a virus just feels different from a death caused by the human hatred or greed of a war.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#330Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…
I feel you. This has been such a shitty time just in general around the world, and I've been having a hard time personally as well. During the past month I've been pretty unproductive at work (partially out of my control), we had to put down our dog of 15 years, my grandpa had a stroke, and one my uncles has an extremely aggressive form of cancer. Luckily I'm still in good health, and I don't know anyone with covid-1…
Hey mate, you seem to have it a lot rougher than I do.
I would love to chat. Maybe sometime this weekend. I really appreciate your willingness to offer support, when you yourself are in such supply of it.