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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#311

Post by embedding-shape »

throwaway314155 wrote: post #166
ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

> 2. Join a religious organization. Go to church, but also join the mens/womens group, join a bible studies class. Attend every week. So no atheists then?

I'd say particularly if you're an atheist. I've always been atheist, but fascinated by churches and religions regardless, because no matter what you believe, it's hard to refuse the proof that the ideas themselves are powerful and helps people a lot of the times. Why is that? Best way to find out is to talk and engage with those who have these different ideas, probably where they are the most comfortable.

Doesn't mean you need to forget all the horrible impact it has had too, and how much better humanity would probably be without it, or even continue thinking about ideas how we could finally get rid of it once and for all, without violence.

Also, probably different in different parts of the world, but in many places churches are just purely architecturally/visually beautiful and historically interesting buildings. Some of them have really interesting acoustics too, and organs. Many interesting stuff at churches :)

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#313

Post by embedding-shape »

tyg13 wrote: post #184
throwaway314155 wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 2. Join a religious organization. Go to church, but also join the mens/womens group, join a bible studies class. Attend every week. So no atheists then?

Surprised to see this comment strike a nerve with the HN crowd. That was my first thought as well. Religious organizations? No thanks.

If you agree with the entire comment, except just that line, do you upvote or not? I think maybe that's why :) If that line was the only thing in the comment, the reaction would probably have been different.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#314

Post by wbobeirne »

dontwannahearit wrote: post #296

Not for everyone but if you can, get a dog. Dogs are icebreakers. People like to meet a cute dog. They won't know your name at first but you will be "Fido's Dad" or "Dave's Mom". Other dog owners will greet you and so long as your dogs don't hate each other you already have something in common. A dog gives you a reason to be wherever you want to be - take a walk around the neighborhood or to the park. You're not a ra…

Anecdotally, I've had a lot of people in my life recede after getting pets. They're an excellent excuse to say no to things that you might otherwise do, because you need to get home and take care of the pet or you can't find a sitter to go on a trip etc.

Not generalizing to all people, but I think for some a pet can reinforce anti-social tendencies.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#315

Post by FloorEgg »

Having kids (with the right partner and good intentions as a parent) is a great way to avoid feeling lonely.

The kid(s) are tremendous source of connection. You may trade for a feeling of exhaustion, overwhelming responsibility, etc. but a lot less loneliness.

Also go a step further and join support groups for parents. Community resources where kids play and parents can hang out and chat. Connection is built through shared experiences, and parenting is an experience you can share with other parents.

Between having kids and participating in events with other parents, there will be a lot less opportunities to feel lonely.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#316

Post by thom »

This is a minor thing, but as an introvert, I really try and push myself to model social behaviour to my kids. Saying good morning to people in the street, chatting to other dog owners, being nice to waiters, travelling by bus, there are lots of tiny opportunities every day to show that world is full of lovely people who aren’t scary at all.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#317

Post by solatic »

b65e8bee43c2ed0 wrote: post #292
solatic wrote: post #194

Make Single Room Occupancy (SRO) housing legal again. Having barely room for little more than a bed forces you to get out during the day. Stuff happens when your default for where to spend your time is not at "home". SRO halls also usually had more room for common spaces to meet and socialize with other people in a similar position in life, and of course, SRO is a very cheap housing option.

have you ever lived in one?

I lived on a kibbutz for nearly three years after university and had similar levels of personal space. While I definitely would not want to live on a kibbutz for my whole life, there were very significant downsides (internal politics), I made some lifelong friends there and overall consider that experience to have been very positive, in particular for my social life.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#318

Post by 9rx »

stego-tech wrote: post #206

It’s all about fostering community again, and that’s more than just shared calendars and town events. It’s “third places” where folks can just hang out and work, play, share, and commiserate without having to pay money to do so. It’s bringing back establishments that promote lingering and loitering, like food halls or coffee shops, rather than chasing out folks. It’s about building community centers inside apartment…

> but space is the issue at present I believe.

Is it? There are a number of third places around here that sit effectively vacant. The few who are passionate about seeing those spaces thrive will tell you that the problem is getting anyone to come, not finding space to host them.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#319

Post by lbrito »

incomingpain wrote: post #191

Loneliness epidemic started 30+ years ago. There were books written in the 90s about it(bowling alone). Nothing modern can be blamed on it. If anything, social media is helping the crisis; not causing. The 'fixes' has been established for just as long. My nearby 'community centre' was built in 1987. Has this been successful at all? Not in the least bit. The reality of what is causing this hasnt changed. Without fixin…

>4. Urban design and walkability.

>We need to spend trillions of dollars to completely redesign and rebuild cities? lol what.

That doesn't mean the point is wrong.

The US bet on the wrong urban planning ideas, and now it is facing the consequences. This is not unique to the US; other places have fallen into the same trap.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#320

Post by mdberkey »

Something I've noticed with me and other gen-Zers is that meeting with friends or strangers over Discord VoIP is a great way to socialize. It's missing some of the social benefits of in-person meetups, but it's very low-commitment (just hope on a call) and it's much easier to find others who share your interests.
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