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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#311

Post by Porthos9K »

swat535 wrote: post #62
bpchaps wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This field fucking sucks. I'm tired of being on call 24/7/365. I'm tired of having to explain why plaintext passwords are bad. I'm tired of being taken advantage of for being a generalist. I'm tired of ex-google asshole bosses with massive egos. I'm tired of carrying a laptop with me "just in case". I'm tired of the constantly shifting "popular" technologies. I'm tired of spending weekends indoors studying for work,…

You forgot the crown jewel of all: Tech interviews which consists of completely unrelated questions to the position itself

And pretending to be just as eager and passionate as a CS grad who knows how to reverse a binary tree on a whiteboard but has no idea how to humanely extract actionable requirements from non-technical stakeholders.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#312

Post by rconti »

satokema wrote: post #162

Nth-ing no social life and the related whines. I hate the mild feeling of discomfort I get when I tell most people I'm a software engineer. I hate having eclectic or traditional "nerdy" interests and getting a similar reaction. I've been enjoying Classic, and I have a small online circle for the niche games/music/art I like. I hate that I like these things in spite of the detriment to my social benefit to liking them…

What is "nth-ing"? Do you mean, like, "mee too"?

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#313

Post by tasogare »

jimbokun wrote: post #257
tasogare wrote: post #206

Situation degraded over the time. I'm a beginning PhD student in a small lab in a top university of the country I live. Basically every of my projects have been cancelled. A paper I was writing and cared about for a small conference too. I'm forced to write something for a really hard conference about something that's not my idea on a topic I don't care. I have a "special" treatment: I have to point most of the work…

Any reason not to leave? Do you have other career options you are qualified for?

Yes: I've worked hard the last years to get the government scholarship I'm on, and moving in this country. I also want to work in academia, get the doctor title and I won't give up that easily. The situation is not as terrible as it could be (I would say 3/10 on crap scale), but the fact I cannot use my wide array of knowledge and skills nor pursue my academic goals and being micro-managed drives me mad. I hate not being given the opportunities to show that my work is good.

I have ton of options, the most obvious ones being developer or translator.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#315

Post by whoisthis12 »

I guess I am doing relatively fine. I am in my early 20s and this is my first job after graduation.

But I have this irritating problem that I keep obsessing over any unsolved problem from work, which seems to affect my personal life as well. Until and unless I complete that(which can be a simple algo or lets say a small features), it basically keeps bugging me. Is this relatable to others? Maybe this is because of my lack of experience, and gradually with time, I can get over it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#316

Post by rconti »

satokema wrote: post #162

Nth-ing no social life and the related whines. I hate the mild feeling of discomfort I get when I tell most people I'm a software engineer. I hate having eclectic or traditional "nerdy" interests and getting a similar reaction. I've been enjoying Classic, and I have a small online circle for the niche games/music/art I like. I hate that I like these things in spite of the detriment to my social benefit to liking them…

> I hate having eclectic or traditional "nerdy" interests and getting a similar reaction. I've been enjoying Classic, and I have a small online circle for the niche games/music/art I like.

Funny, I feel like I don't fit in, because I've never been a gamer (video or board or otherwise), don't like Sci-Fi, hate Fantasy with a passion, etc etc. I'm not a Trekkie or a Star Wars fan. I don't like anime. shrug There are lots of ways to not fit in.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#317

Post by TamDenholm »

DoofusOfDeath wrote: post #170
TamDenholm wrote: post #16

Right now no, the last couple weeks is where everything in my life is going down the shitter. I'm trying to just get on with it cuz my stoic nature just tells me I'll get through it eventually. I'm in substantial debt for me but at the rate in which I earn I can pull myself out of it within 6 months, but I've been working on launching new companies and it's been a struggle. My 2 cofounders are waiting for me to finis…

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. At the risk of sounding trite, I'd like to share with you two things I've found helpful on these much-worse-then-usual times of life. First, I take comfort in knowing that the cumulative crappiness is sometimes just an unfortunately coincidental timing of multiple, crappy problems. And I know such coincidences will happen time to time. So that comforts me in knowing tha…

Thanks for the words, and the song, haha. Yeah i'm aware that the issue is i'm juggling a million things right now and if i was only dealing with one at a time then any problems that come up would be trivial to deal with, but its just the nature of a minor thing going wrong on multile things all at the same time. None of these things i'm dealing with are unsurmountable if they're compartmentalised into 1 thing at a time, but when they're all at once, i get stressed.

I've just gotta keep going, stop anything new coming onto my plate (within my control anyway) and just deal with these things one at a time until the list gets shorter and shorter and i feel better. Its gunna take some time though.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#318

Post by tasogare »

Qworg wrote: post #263
tasogare wrote: post #206

Situation degraded over the time. I'm a beginning PhD student in a small lab in a top university of the country I live. Basically every of my projects have been cancelled. A paper I was writing and cared about for a small conference too. I'm forced to write something for a really hard conference about something that's not my idea on a topic I don't care. I have a "special" treatment: I have to point most of the work…

As someone who had a less than ideal PhD experience, while exiting ABD feels like a failure in the near term, the long term impact is very low, unless you're desperate to remain in academia. In short, you don't have to take the abuse - I'd look to change major professors.

Yep I want to stay in academia but I'll probably try to sell my own products one day. I could change lab I think, but I'm not guaranteed that the situation will be better elsewhere. Heck, on the paper this lab is exactly focus on the kind of stuff I want to do.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#319

Post by rhapsodic »

rconti wrote: post #312
satokema wrote: post #162

Nth-ing no social life and the related whines. I hate the mild feeling of discomfort I get when I tell most people I'm a software engineer. I hate having eclectic or traditional "nerdy" interests and getting a similar reaction. I've been enjoying Classic, and I have a small online circle for the niche games/music/art I like. I hate that I like these things in spite of the detriment to my social benefit to liking them…

What is "nth-ing"? Do you mean, like, "mee too"?

>What is "nth-ing"? Do you mean, like, "mee too"?

"I second that!"

"I third that!"

...

"I n-th that!"

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#320

Post by par »

vinaypai wrote: post #274
par wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand your intentions, but you should try to be clear with your directs that the stress you are talking about is work related only, and even more specifically, work related stress not caused by you directly.

Non-work stress can certainly intrude on work life, and you can help out with that as long as you tread very carefully. Years ago, I noticed one of my reports had been performing uncharacteristically poorly, often late to work, making sloppy mistakes etc. I dug into it a bit in one of our one-on-one meetings and turns out he had a lot of things going on in his personal life, his girlfriend had been laid off from her…

yes i agree but this same thing can cut both ways. Source: have spent many years building healthy teams with many directs and direct managers. There is a way to broach the subject of personal stress in a 1x1 but an internet comment box is not the right place to suggest it imho.
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