301–310 of 592 posts
You need to figure that one out if you want to truly get out of this funk. The rest is secondary.
If you feel like you have "too much free time" and you need to occupy it to keep bad thoughts away, volunteer. Also hit the gym/a sport (padel seems to have taken off !)
If you've spent so much time with your spouse around, and now you're at home alone, and you're working remote, then you are going to need a lot of socialising outside of work, because remote work does not meet the same needs for seeing people in person (I've been there).
Humans are social animals, we need some interactions with others, and you are just getting way too little.
The issue is not 'how to be alone?', it's how to satisfy your social cravings with in-person interaction, once you have that at least some of the time, being alone for the rest of the time is much easier.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Are we talking about affording in time? Mostly weather. There are very few locations where “bike every day” is a reasonable statement. Consistency is key.
That’s a matter of clothing and determination IMHO :) But sure, I get it. Personally I can’t keep up gym habits because the boredom is just overwhelming. I find other forms of exercise easier to stick at. Each to their own.
- bouldering gyms - circus - bodybuilding gyms - dancing studio - aikido/wrestling - boxing
If your idea of gym is 24Fitness, then yeah, it is very boring.
Stop the medication. Ride the way down and then back up. Cry your heart out, feel that pain, don't hide from it. It's a process, and has even a greek name:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katabasis
You are on your journey into the underworld and darkness. Face it and you'll come out stronger on the other side. Humans have endured much harder times. You are more resilient than you think.
Your days will start to improve little by little. Little glimmers of light here and there until you start leaving the bad times behind
I went through a separation 5 years ago after 12y together, no meds, just counseling. Not sure if your case is separation or death, cause I haven't gone through the latter
For social generally though, I would suggest very strongly that you pickup something like an MMO or a game with a community that isn't offset. Games like Path of Exile (1) or OldSchool Runescape can eat a lot of time and still give you social connections, which can help get your mind at ease from being alone. I don't suggest exclusively single player games or things like that, though.
I believe very strongly in journaling as "twitter to yourself". Things you would say over messages to a partner or something can be notes to yourself instead. Especially short term desires to tell someone something can be lightened by this. For social generally though, I would suggest very strongly that you pickup something like an MMO or a game with a community that isn't offset. Games like Path of Exile (1) or OldS…
Not saying computer gaming is unenjoyable, just that they need some other things in their life.
There are also parks, not sure if there are any of those in your general area, but make sure to make a routine out of walking your dog through them. Also make sure to sit on a bench for 5, 10, even 30 minutes, people-watching, even if it’s the middle of the day and work is waiting. Let it wait.