301–310 of 405 posts
If you are fortunate enough, put your kid in private school where smartphones tend to be banned in elementary and sometimes up to middle school. Beyond that, I don't intend to give my kids a device until they are 10. (Heavily restricted smart phone) and won't be allowed to social media until they are 13-14.
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Isn’t the teachable moment to realize your kids are going to see those things no matter what I do? Kids on the internet see all sorts of stuff and almost all of them end up fine.
I would've ended up a lot more "fine" if my parents hadn't given up on parental controls almost immediately after I learned to circumvent them. Some of the things they'd have had to tell me would've been embarrassing for all parties involved, but I genuinely believe it would have improved my socialization and overall happiness during critical parts of my development, with ramifications continuing to this day. Instead…
Yes I agree with this.
I mean look at most people’s lives. Have they all gone to plan? For the most part, no.
Every part of them could be better if they took different actions and made different choices. So what? They didn’t and they didn’t. They’ve got what they’ve got.
Why stress yourself out over what you could have done better when you’ve done good enough?
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Isn’t the teachable moment to realize your kids are going to see those things no matter what I do? Kids on the internet see all sorts of stuff and almost all of them end up fine.
If you don't mind me asking... do you have kids?
No phones or SM accounts for kids till they turn 18. Yes, there's a "fear" of being an outcast but they work their way around that quickly and if they have other things to spend time on, they'll be fine. The "need" for social media is mostly FOMO.
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Society is really fine! I live among millions of people every day, and people are genuinely kind and nice on average. It's up to you how you want to perceive the world, but I wouldn't want my neighbours to ever think people around them are lunatics and etc. I understand you're coming from a very American-specific point of view, which is very hard for me to comprehend. Growing up, I absolutely never had to worry (and…
> Yet we find ways to sit down, have a drink, go for a drive, or have sex from time to time. US born & raised, here. No we don't. I'm 26, have never had a drink, and have never had sex in this country. (ETA: By societal standards, I'm considered "doing well.") You do not understand the severity of the problem.
HN parenting thread… > Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
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Gorilla in the room are other f*ng parents. You can prevent as much as you want but then kids go to school nd everyone else has accounts they should not have or devices they should not have and your kids are angry at you because now you are the bad guy.
It's okay to be "the bad guy". They're your kids, not your friends. Too many parents want to be buddies with their kids these days. That's just setting everyone up for failure. My wife and I have a loving relationship with our kids but they are quite clear on the fact that we are not equals. The distinction will lessen as they reach adulthood and prove their responsibility.
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But if you blame your parents' or guardians' overly restrictive dogma for your outcast status then it will likely turn into lifelong resentment. Would you want your kid to resent you? The better alternative is to explore the net together with your children and show them that there is a world beyond typical social media which is far more interesting and rewarding to explore. Encourage them to foster trust and strong r…
It is absolutely not true that placing limits on your child will create lifelong resentment. This is an irrational fear on the parents’ part.
My computer usage was surveilled and highly limited. My guardians feared the knowledge I could access via the internet. No personal computer, no television in my room. All media verified for dogmatic adherence before consumption. Personal belongings frequently searched and thrown away or broken. Any significant amount of money I saved up, stolen. I didn't even get to have a door for long stretches of time. I was surveilled by a network of narcissistic adults whose main interests were turning me into a good little Christian boy.
No phones or SM accounts for kids till they turn 18. Yes, there's a "fear" of being an outcast but they work their way around that quickly and if they have other things to spend time on, they'll be fine. The "need" for social media is mostly FOMO.
No phones period is stupid. Just get them a jitterbug or a startac