Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

301–310 of 570 posts

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#301

Post by phkahler »

bheadmaster wrote: post #140

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

>> Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless.

As are ones about making an unlikely future come to be. When I find myself sidetracked by those thoughts I now say to myself "Get out of fantasy land where unicorns fart rainbows" and it seems to stop.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#302

Post by varjag »

elefantastisch wrote: post #185
selestify wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who doesn’t quite understand/believe it, could you elucidate more on that?

Read through the thread. Look how many stories there are of people losing years and years to something that they now regret. The realization is that this is the norm , not the exception. We're all just fragile and fallible and trying to make our way through life as best we can, and we all end up messing up big somewhere along the way. It's easy to look back on 10 wasted years and think you failed, you blew your one c…

This thread is self-selecting: people who have no big regrets clearly wouldn't be posting here.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#303

Post by kieckerjan »

qwerty456127 wrote: post #82

My only regret is I never cared to exercise physically. I hate exercising with passion but I probably would be terrifically fit and flexible if I had been putting just some very-very small but systematic effort throughout my whole life. Not a serious regret though, just a missed opportunity (I still am reasonably fit).

FWIW, you are never too old to start. The older you get, the more getting in at least some exercise counts.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#305

Post by bheadmaster »

gernb wrote: post #300
bheadmaster wrote: post #140

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

I wish I didn't believe in regret but I feel it. I do my best to ignore it and face forward but I still often feel very strong regret for moments daily. Since high school I wanted a spouse and kids (obviously I imagined a good relationship and good kids) Now I'm in my late 50s and it's not going to happen. I was always hopeful today I'm going to meet someone. That hope has mostly disappeared. I regret not trying hard…

I feel regret too, there are many experiences that, when I remember them, make my heart sink and make me think "I really fucking wish I didn't do it that way".

However, the perspective I've explained keeps me from dwelling on it for too long. What's done is done, I did the only thing I could do with the information that was available. There is no point in punishing myself (unless it's to remind myself of the lesson). That's what I meant by not "believing" in regret.

That perspective often helps me get out of the self-pitying mood.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#306

Post by pc86 »

nineplay wrote: post #292

I had a great job. Great pay, stock grants that are still going up, good work/life balance, and co-workers who were friends, co-workers who wanted me on their teams. I'd spearheaded an initiative which ultimately failed but had earned me a good reputation. I went on a medication with a side effect of anger. I was told that at the beginning, I was told that there were other drugs I could use instead. I dismissed the c…

This could be me - maybe except the successful stock grants :)

Some of things I said and did when I was writing PHP shitcode at 24 make me want to crawl inside my couch. I'd like to think I've mellowed out a lot, but I think everyone is susceptible to falling into this trap, especially when they're highly compensated and well respected.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#307

Post by bigie35 »

DontchaKnowit wrote: post #179

Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them. Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique d…

Hi there, you're kind of me but in reverse. Raised Christian, initially very socially awkward as a kid and even in high school, it wasnt until my junior year in college that i really opened up and now that i'm "established" professionally and socially, I've been looking into dipping my toes into the world of psychedelics.

I'd love to chat more if you're interested. You can find my email in my profile.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#308

Post by gilbetron »

Loughla wrote: post #231
robertk wrote: post #158

Nothing. Free will doesn’t exist so I just accept what comes my way and naively trust the universe not to be too much of a d$&#. Hopefully that gets me to the finish line.

I legitimately do not understand the philosophical exercise of 'free will doesn't exist'. Yes it does. I could walk into the street right now. I could walk into the office next door and slap a co-worker. I could learn German. I could leave my life and walk to China. What is your justification that free-will doesn't exist? Other than biological needs like eating and sleeping, I have control over the rest. Or, rather,…

I'm not convinced that free will doesn't exist for others, just myself. There seem to be people who can build their lives exactly as they want it, and maybe you are one of those, but they are the minority. Sounds like you are someone that is completely happy with the aspects of their life they can control because they are able to do exactly what they want when they want (get out of bed on time, learn a language when they want, focus exactly as they want when they want, etc). Or, maybe you are someone that just thinks they have free will by making excuses that they really want what they actually get. Don't know you well enough!

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#309

Post by pfdietz »

Cwizard wrote: post #24
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why not study medicine and become a doctor? The web dev industry is too ageist and mostly runs on churning new-grads, whereas as a doctor, gray hair is an advantage not a perceived "disability". Or try less hip domains in SW development popular with gray beards like embedded. Pay isn't as hot as web dev, but age is not a problem. Edit, since I'm comment throttled and can't reply: In my country studying medicine is fr…

This is strange advice? I would assume becoming a doctor is hard, extremely expensive, takes a long time and not something you should go into because ‘you see your friends making 6 figures’

My daughter went to med school right out of college and is just now doing her last year of fellowship in her specialty. Next year, she'll be earning much more than I do. It was expensive, but not enormously so compared to what one will earn.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#310

Post by cthulhu-bot »

bheadmaster wrote: post #140

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

The ability to make good decisions comes from wisdom.

Wisdom is gained from making bad decisions.

Post reply on HN