301–310 of 348 posts
I need a relationship and it doesn't come easy when you are brown gay living in a white country.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why not? Some of their arguments might change your view for the better, and vice versa.
But what chance do you think there is to actually have a real conversation with someone over social media (or even text)? Most of the time seems to be spent on making the wrong assumptions about what you think someone means or just straight up disagreement over the pillars of an issue.
Based on the context of the original comment, they probably believe the chance is very low. After thinking on it a bit based on my own experiences over the years, even after using niche forums for hobbies and just plain socializing, it's often very rare to have a real conversation.
One example I can provide right now are a few people I've seen on one of those aforementioned niche forums who basically copy-paste all of their "opinions" on software and technology from a different forum and are dogmatic to the point where interaction with them is exhausting and counteractive towards the light-hearted and positive nature of the forum; it's not worth it to even try to align the messages of both parties based on their biases because the dogmatic ones are looking to be "right" and believe that those who aren't in agreement haven't been shown the light. It quickly becomes more prudent to simply ignore that person/those people, but not everyone does, and those who do choose the path of tuning out leave the area that much more barren.
Of course, I'm not talking about things that are reflexively grouped under "social media" like Twitter and such. Still can't figure Twitter out.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> For me I have learned that there comes a point when you need to work differently in order to protect your health and family well being. Big salaries are great, but when the price for that is massive amounts of overtime that takes you away from your family it just isn't worth it. >... >Family comes first, always. I didn't learn this in the past 12 months, but a recent event has definitely reaffirmed this: stick to y…
That's what I love about the companies experimenting with 32 hour four day workweeks. It's not just the depth of the day time that's less productive, it's the depth of the week. Who is as productive on friday as they are on monday? And who isn't more productive on monday after a three day weekend? I figure the cost of those 8 hours is really 10%, not 20%... and much of that 10% is bought back with the increased produ…
Turn off the TV. Turn off all social media. Turn off any negative influences. Eat as healthy as you possibly can. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, or anything that gets you moving. Enjoy the benefits of all the time you thought you didn't have while having really good mental power because of your healthy diet and exercise. Live a good life.
> Turn off all social media. Turn off Hacker News.
Turn off the TV. Turn off all social media. Turn off any negative influences. Eat as healthy as you possibly can. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, or anything that gets you moving. Enjoy the benefits of all the time you thought you didn't have while having really good mental power because of your healthy diet and exercise. Live a good life.
I've distinctly noticed a sharp rise in toxicity in media (mostly, but not limited to, politics). But even if you cut that toxic part out of your own life, we don't live in a vacuum; friends, co-workers, and family will relay toxic news and media, despite effectively all of it being irrelevant to our everyday lives. This actually affects my demeanor not in that I just heard toxic news, but that I can see this person…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> "I'll end with this. If you are bored, create something. Make a clay pot, a drawing on paper, a JavaScript file, a wooden structure, a shoe rack, a sand castle, a matchstick home, a story. Make something you can look at the end result and you'll never get bored again..." This might be the best single sentence I've read on the internet so far this year. Kudos. In short: Boredom is a function of creativity / creating…
> Boredom is a function of creativity / creating. Often it is the other way around.
A sidebar question: What are video games' and technology's destruction of boredom doing to the future of creativity?
Turn off the TV. Turn off all social media. Turn off any negative influences. Eat as healthy as you possibly can. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, or anything that gets you moving. Enjoy the benefits of all the time you thought you didn't have while having really good mental power because of your healthy diet and exercise. Live a good life.
I am really curious how you did that. The negativity on social media and politics today is really affecting my mental health and I don't know how to switch it off
Eventually, I said hey, we should do this with our son. So we did, he had the same problem, took about 2 months before he started drawing, building, tinkering. After getting all this free time back I decided to cut off all notifications on my phone except phone calls and text messages.
It was hard giving up my Instagram account, which I had grown to over 500 followers for my pottery side work, but even though I wasn't much of an Instagram person, I still would find myself checking it randomly when I was bored. Each thing I cut off helped with the next thing. Once I got all this stuff cut off, I realized that the important things I wanted to know about in the world I could just directly check their website once a week and be good to go. So I usually start my Monday off with my deep work in the morning, then I read things that are important to me.
What is amazing is when you cut it all off, how much you still think about it. You reach for your phone then realize you uninstalled all addictive apps. It has been a long time now, and sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I still reach for my phone before realizing the only thing on my phone is my email and I only get email from personal people as I have unsubscribed from everything that isn't positively influencing my life. This includes marketing stuff because they are just really good at making me want things that I don't need.
I know I sound absolutely crazy, but this AskHN question really sparked my interest. I tell people all the time who ask me why I am so happy, positive, etc, and I tell them, "I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, I do some sort of exercise daily(mostly gardening right now), and I am not on any social media, negative news, and I have no TV." People will look at you like your absolutely nuts, but let them, I feel 1000x better than I have ever felt in my entire life. If you want a place to start, just take your phone, uninstall anything that you feel you need to check that doesn't:
1. Make you money
2. Brighten your day 100% of the time when you open it
3. Isn't a huge time suck for no mental or physical gain
Once you do this, DON'T go back. Surround yourself with things you love, eat good food, exercise and spend time in the sunlight. Any politics you feel strongly about, find their website and check it when you start your week or end your week.
Last of all, you can do it!
Turn off the TV. Turn off all social media. Turn off any negative influences. Eat as healthy as you possibly can. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, or anything that gets you moving. Enjoy the benefits of all the time you thought you didn't have while having really good mental power because of your healthy diet and exercise. Live a good life.
Side note related to negativity: stay at least a little engaged with developments in areas you care about, so if things happen against your values, you can give your resources to help groups that share your vision and values.
Before we got married, my wife said she would move with me to California if I ever got a good offer from a major tech company. This year I got an amazing job offer, and my wife threw a giant fit, told me she's not coming, and said "I took a gamble and lost. I never thought you would actually get an offer". Now she's refusing to get a job, wants me to continue paying for our house that she's living in on the east coas…
It's over. You can either admit it now or wait. But from experience I'm telling you it's over. This is your one life. One trip around the stars.
Being in a bad marriage is like being that poor mouse in 'An American Tale'. Looking wistfully up at the night sky, thinking "Somewhere, out there..." (there is a life that doesn't resemble hell / a distorted version of expected reality).
Obviously, I'm making a leap here that you aren't some kind of monster or what-have-you and you don't deserve any of this. ; )