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Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

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Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#31
"The root of all our problems is our inability to let go", Leo Babauta in the free "Letting go book" http://zenhabits.net/lg/

So if that holds true, you might be holding on to a statement like "my poor english makes people think I am less of a person" - but if you try to investigate that statement you might discover that the world is full of people speaking poorly english that is not a lessor person.

Try see what internal beliefs that your are holding on to, often these belief is not true when examined, and if you let go of these beliefs you also let go of your self doubt.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#34
Lots of good advice here already!

My suggestion is to tackle this from the language side first. It's really frustrating to be "trapped" behind a foreign language, feeling that you can't express yourself. It gets harder to learn languages as one gets older, and learning a language is like climbing a staircase: you struggle for what seems for ever with something, then you jump up a level, and everything seems a bit easier. Until you realize you're on a plateau, and you don't seem to be getting better. Again. And again. And again.

So that's one thing: even when you feel like you're standing still, as long as you're immersed in a foreign language, you are improving. Even if it doesn't feel like it.

Best advice here is just to find low-stress arenas to practice. Join a sports club, chess club, book club, film club, martial arts club... you get the idea -- find some people that share your interest and hang out. Talk without having to deal with a foreign and difficult subject at the same time.

That might help with the anxiety connected to English.

You mention English is your third language, are you using both the other two actively? If you can, it is usually much easier to learn a language if you can avoid switching back and forth -- and just stay in the new(est) one all the time. Talk, think, do everything in English. Avoid phone/video calls in your native tongue (within reason) -- try to stick to email/letters. If you think it's hard, try to make a deal with anyone you call regularly, say you'll try to give it three months. Let your brain work for you.

Don't worry about the syntax errors in code. Just code more, and you'll make fewer mistakes. Try to code for fun, or at least outside of a class setting, without any pressure. Maybe sign up at codeeval.com and try your hand at some of the easy exercises first.

Many of the problems there are pretty much lifted from project euler -- and that's a good resource too. But with codeeval everything is wrapped up nice, very little setup needed, and you can just play around.

Last, but not least -- you mention you're attending college -- try and talk with one of your TAs, professors or fellow students. See if someone might have the time to pair program with you, on something not directly related to class (again, try to avoid to stack different kinds of pressure anxiety). For example, you could make a deal to try and solve some easy codeeval (no, I'm not affiliated, it's just an easy source of a few exercises) challenges.

Finally: the best way to learn is to make mistakes. It's certainly much better to make mistakes than do nothing. And if you make errors while pair programming, not only do you learn from your mistake, your partner does to!

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#35
Your written english is outstanding. I wouldn't have guessed non-native. I found two errors in the last sentence (advice instead of advices, a lot instead of lot) but these are minor ones.

Set yourself up for success. If you do better when someone reviews your code then spend your time on reading documentation and writing good code before review. In pair programming, look for opportunities to shadow and review rather than write.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#37
My two cents: Work hard at improving your knowledge and experience, find yourself a tribe (it really helps in learning when you are not in it alone and having someone to work with as time goes on becomes invaluable), and find yourself a mentor. A mentor will help you learn by exposing you to things that will not only keep you interested and engaged but also push you just beyond your capabilities so you grow at a bearable/reasonable pace. That mentor may be the leader of your tribe or just a more knowledgeable resource. A mentor will be someone that believes in you, which is also invaluable. Fake nothing. Ask questions, learn, and alway admit what you don't know. When you do suddenly it becomes clear how to fill in the blanks. Don't be afraid to fail or be wrong. That's just part of learning.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#38
Secular meditation.

The second half of this helped me with the effects of my doubt. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmEG3zzCUQs

The thing I did was to hold my doubt like a mother cradles a baby, don't deny it, acknowledging it. Until this is a joke and you're laughing at what the hell you were so worried about :) "Love your thoughts to death"

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#39
> tend to make a lot of syntax errors.

Rely on your compiler. I'm a senior dev and I still so a build on my machine before doing a code review. One less thing to worry about if you make it a habit.

As for the poor English: I would think that any reasonable English person would care about the quality of your English. I assume that most reasonable people would realise that English is the "universal language" and would then also realise that it isn't everyone's first language.

Professionally I have been working in almost the same situation as you: 7 years at an Afrikaans company and I started off not knowing a word of the language. Friendly jokes were made, but everyone always realised that it's more important that we could communicate and not how well we could communicate.

Basically what I'm saying is that the only person who actually cares about the quality of your English is: you.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#40
post #21

- It's amazing that you speak three languages, most English speakers will be in awe of you for that alone. Bear that in mind when you make an error! - Who cares about syntax errors in code? This is why we build in-line checkers in IDE's. Also syntax errors are easy to find and fix, semantic errors are the killers -> the bloody thing works and then blows up... arrgggh! Big mantra : don't beat your self up. The rest of…

I would say 1. jealous or 2. in love with you. In my experience it is rather 50/50.
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