31–40 of 65 posts
Maybe base it on how much effort and progress you're making instead of the immediate result or the current level. But to be honest, if your worth is not based on your work, then what could it be based it on? Your looks? Your hair style? I can't really think of anything more significant.
Of course many people can tell you how toxic this kind of mentality is, but it's not without benefits. Some people lack motivation and drive, but people with this mentality often have no shortage of that.
It's good you've identified this as something negative and are working to change that. That's step 1. It's not going to happen overnight but it is a long process. Also keep in mind that success means something different to everyone. You might think making 200k a year is somewhat successful, but someone else may be perfectly content and fulfilled volunteering to clean after the elderly/disabled. Having pride in your work is fine, but in the end, human connections have a MUCH more significant impact on your life. Just keep working on yourself (specifically: growth) and being someone people enjoy being around and you'll do great.
It's natural to focus on the end goal and constantly comparing yourself to others but this only leads to you being hard on yourself which leaves you focusing too much on things you cannot control which doesn't feel good and frustrating at best.
Plus definitely find other things outside of coding that give you a break and you can enjoy yourself out of that context. Sometimes just having fun is a great way of building self-worth. It also gives you a sense of perspective that will ultimately help you in your day-to-day work and when socialising.
Work is work. You are a human being, not a machine. That code you output? It's meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Cherish what makes you human, not what makes you a good worker. Do things that you love outside of work. They will be just as meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but they will matter to you. Base your self estime on those. Work is there for one reason and one reason only. To get you money t…
>That code you output? It's meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Cherish what makes you human, not what makes you a good worker. // Isn't that just soul crushingly depressive. Surely everything you do is part of your character, how you work, what you work on, that's all part of who you are. You are not your work but I feel you've gone too far. >Work is there for one reason and one reason only. To get you money…
If you work on an awesome project at work, do cherish it. Let it flow all over your ego. You did an awesome job? Be proud of it. But remember that what you are actually loving from that awesome project isn't the project itself, or the client, or your boss, or the money, or your time spent working.
From my point of view, an awesome project can be defined as a project that made you grow, that made you learn. This is what you love, and this is what you seek without even being aware of it.
Growing and learning is the basis of our human existence.
Sadly, most work you do will be repetitive. Boring. Harsh. Some time, it will even go badly. Learn what you can from those project, grow as much as you can, then move on. A bad project shouldn't even touch your sense of self worth.
The only moment you should feel less from your work is when you know that you didn't do your best. All else is simply work. Work may go bad, but if you did you best, worked your hardest, don't put it against yourself.
Your value as an individual human being is miles away from how your last project went. To me, they are barely related.
One of my great epiphanies as an American expat is that Americans have a tendency to be extreme. They often have one thing that they use to define themselves. They are driven to be the best at their 'one thing'. - People who go to church on Sunday feel the need to tell you about it on Monday. - The guy at work who runs marathons, is running all the time. He never comes to lunch because he is doing a practice run. - P…
Not sure if I agree. Being "well-rounded" will result in being mediocre at everything, i.e. jack-of-all-trades-but-master-of-none. If you want to excel at something, you need to specialize and focus on that thing, usually to the exclusion of a lot of other things. Einstein wasn't "well-rounded" but he no doubt lived a fulfilling life and had a lot of impact on the world. Not everyone can be Einstein, or even wants to be Einstein, but I think being very good at a few things would make them feel more satisfied with their lives than chasing after many different interests and goals. That's just my opinion though.
I also disagree with your characterization of Americans. If anything, people in this country are very good at noticing what they are not good at, and live their lives trying to plug those perceived holes, rather than focusing on developing themselves in what they are good at. This is mostly because the consumer culture emphasizes people's imperfections in order to sell them products and services. You walk down the magazine isle of a bookstore and are bombarded with messages: you're out of shape, you need to be better at sex, you need to learn how to talk to people better, you totally need to check out the latest and hottest JavaScript framework bro! That's where the obsession with well-roundedness comes from.
Now, here's the caveat: people who combine multiple disciplines tend to be very successful. There was a story discussed on HN recently about this where Elon Musk's ex-wife pointed that out. I agree with that. But even then, we're talking about two or three things at most. Steve Jobs is a good example: he understood technology and design, but he definitely could not be described as "well-rounded."
when you do a project that "sux." remember steve job's very buddhist quote... the journey is the reward.
Focus on process, not outcome.
Don't focus your mental energy on the awesomeness of your projects. (Even if they are awesome.) Focus your mental energy on the production of them -- the process.
Ultimately it is the process -- the way you are doing things -- that your life is made of. What you do is who you are. Your projects exist outside yourself. They're quite literally not you.
This is often discussed as "fixed mindset" vs "growth mindset."
See: [(https://sivers.org/mindset)]
http://www.overcoming.co.uk/single.htm?ipg=6320
(That page makes strong claims for efficacy and I'm not sure they can justify the strength of those claim. Still, some people find these books useful.)
One of my great epiphanies as an American expat is that Americans have a tendency to be extreme. They often have one thing that they use to define themselves. They are driven to be the best at their 'one thing'. - People who go to church on Sunday feel the need to tell you about it on Monday. - The guy at work who runs marathons, is running all the time. He never comes to lunch because he is doing a practice run. - P…
>>Aim to be more well-rounded. Not sure if I agree. Being "well-rounded" will result in being mediocre at everything, i.e. jack-of-all-trades-but-master-of-none. If you want to excel at something, you need to specialize and focus on that thing, usually to the exclusion of a lot of other things. Einstein wasn't "well-rounded" but he no doubt lived a fulfilling life and had a lot of impact on the world. Not everyone ca…
Also, the point of being "well-rounded" wasn't to excel at all activities, but by not totally subsuming yourself in one activity you might achieve a broader perspective about experiencing life.
Considering the question in the OP, it is funny you brought up Einstein, Musk, and Jobs in your reply.