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Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

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Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#31

Post by giraffe_lady »

motohagiography wrote: post #16

the hardest advice I've received was to find what you are still hanging on to that is preventing change and let it go. in that spirit: you don't have shelter. I would say you have nothing to offer your kids right now except your emotional need. their mother (or whoever) can take care of them. you're out, done, kaput. accept the failure and earn their forgiveness sometime the future if you are lucky, not now. the beli…

It's not good advice. Being homeless in the US is a brutal, dehumanizing experience, partly intentionally. Connections to people who care about you for your own sake and treat you like a person are incredibly precious and not guaranteed by any means. I was homeless for many years and I have known a great many homeless people. The ones that can maintain human connections, especially with "normal" people not living on the street, have the best long-term odds.

Frankly most of the people who do "make it out" accomplish that because someone had the resources and decided to use it on this, for them, out of love or obligation or simple charity. I believe very very strongly, based on my experiences and observations directly, that you should never advise people facing homelessness to break any ties that are not actively harmful to them. Even then it's not always clear.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#32

Post by kaikai »

gremlinsinc wrote: post #12
revnode wrote: post #10

> I drive Lyft/Uber full-time Stop driving Lyft/Uber. It's for those who don't have any skills beyond driving a car. Sit down and determine what are the skills that you currently possess that are the most valuable on the market right now. Then sell those to the highest bidder. My two cents, that isn't a job. > I know I can earn 3-4x more doing freelance tech, but I can’t do that from a car. Yes, you can. That's a lim…

I only have a desktop. I thought about getting office space from the chamber of commerce for 250 per month... and I can use their fridge to save money on food (Greek yogurt, Jimmy Dean sandwiches, and string cheese is all I need)...

Don’t rent an office space. You dont have the runway to make that work given the current tech market. Focus on getting a solid enough job to get you actual housing. Temp agency, county jobs program, take anything that will pay you a living wage and provide stability.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#33

Post by giraffe_lady »

ilc wrote: post #26

Poster who replied is right. I am out of my depths.

Homeless people usually can't benefit much from food banks, since they give out little (or no) ready to eat food. Maybe I missed it but I don't think OP mentioned having access to a kitchen or even a fridge.

Cooking on a camp stove or something is possible but can be very risky depending on location and other factors. Living out of your car it's extremely important not to draw police attention to yourself, you do not want them to start to recognize your car.

I don't mean to be hostile but this is one of those things that is extremely basic knowledge if you've lived through it but almost completely invisible if not. It makes me wonder how much of this advice is based on conjecture rather than experience working with (or being!) homeless people.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#34

Post by endofreach »

ty6853 wrote: post #24
kaikai wrote: post #9

I’ve been homeless and am now an employed engineer, so I know it’s possible to make the leap. You can’t make it in one go, though. Get a better job, that can get you stable housing. I don’t know the job market in your area, but try looking for temp agencies. They will do a basic interview and help you find something that uses your existing skills. Until you get stable housing and your basic needs met, focus on what y…

If he switches from contract/1099 to a wage job I wonder if child support will start garnishing the fuck out of it. This is the black hole a lot of people get sucked into and end up having to start their own business to buy some runway because the courts very much enjoy kicking non custodial parents in the teeth to the point they cannot get one foot on the ground.

It's not like the government is taking the money though... usually it goes to someone who is arguably deserving. So i feel "kicking in the teeth" seems inappropriate.

I also fucked up because of taxes many times and just recently a big bad "surprise" hit me. But it's not like it was not my failure of responsibility.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#35

Post by EconomistBon »

Give up on a career in IT. You will be wasting your education life. Get something with a license at the end where you can get a state job or something requiring the license. Like truck driver. Get a CDL and make your official home the cheapest studio apartment you can find in 1000 miles.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#36

Post by kaikai »

ty6853 wrote: post #24
kaikai wrote: post #9

I’ve been homeless and am now an employed engineer, so I know it’s possible to make the leap. You can’t make it in one go, though. Get a better job, that can get you stable housing. I don’t know the job market in your area, but try looking for temp agencies. They will do a basic interview and help you find something that uses your existing skills. Until you get stable housing and your basic needs met, focus on what y…

If he switches from contract/1099 to a wage job I wonder if child support will start garnishing the fuck out of it. This is the black hole a lot of people get sucked into and end up having to start their own business to buy some runway because the courts very much enjoy kicking non custodial parents in the teeth to the point they cannot get one foot on the ground.

Supporting their kids is one of their responsibilities. Child support is income-based. I haven’t had to navigate that system so don’t have specific advice, but I’m not going to support someone dodging child support.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#37

Post by bowsamic »

timewizard wrote: post #27

> Through therapy, ketamine treatment, and building my own AI-assisted mental health tools Those do not sound like a pathway to mental health. > staying in cheap motels when I can afford it. From what you've said you clearly can't afford it. > What would YOU do in my situation to break the cycle? Get a regular job. It's going to feel like a giant step backwards, but, this is what you need right now. You need to stabi…

> Those do not sound like a pathway to mental health.

If you don’t consider therapy a pathway to mental health I’m not sure what could be

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#38

Post by cyberbiosecure »

for stable space-grade pc (they literally use them on international space station) grab 100-200$ thinkpad from 2010-2015. it is very reliable and durable platform as known. why can't you get hired in any place asap? I've heard the minimum hourly pay in USA is about 10 bucks. if so, it's 80 per day, so at least 1500 per month.

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#39

Post by sovietswag »

gremlinsinc wrote: post #13
avgDev wrote: post #4

You can work from a local library. Do you have anyone you can lean on? Cousin? Uncle? Anyone? Just a little financial support could go a long way. Do you have any programming experience? Instead of making school a priority, I would try to get an actual job. Non-tech can be stupid simple, the pay can be decent, definitely better than Uber. Plus, you will have a space to work and a work machine.(this can be a bit hard…

I've got 10 years experience with laravel, lots of PHP, JavaScript, vue, react, MySQL, Python etc...i just don't have a computer unless I can find a place to set up my desktop... that's my biggest hurdle.

Archive.org has a PHP Software Engineer position they posted recently, may come in handy once you have a more stable setup with your computer

https://workforcenow.adp.com/mascsr/default/mdf/recruitment/...

Best wishes and good luck with everything

Re: Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

#40

Post by EconomistBon »

And call your local tech schools. Some states have programs to fund tech certificates. For example, in Kentucky, or one has no income or poverty for a while, the CDL training is free without needing student loan type assistance. If you can get student loans, enroll in the cheapest college possible and max them out, then pay for a studio apartment somewhere cheap and save every dime, and use the 'address' to get a job that doesn't require local commutes resources -- like trucker. Utah used to be the political debates for having solved homelessness. I thought Utah gave apartments to homeless people? Or you coukd get a bachelors in social work and then a phd, live on loans and stipends for 6 years or so, and obtain a licensed occupation. Information technology/tech is a road to sadness and nobody in your position should aim at it
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