31–40 of 162 posts
Get married and have children. For time immemorial that is what your ancestors have done. It will not make you happy as you currently conceptualize it, but it will add purpose (and much suffering, as always comes with purpose) to your life. It is what you are designed to do.
I'm not sure if you want the nuclear option. Read/Audiobook Nietzsche. It might upend your world, but "Most days I struggle to find any force to drag myself out of bed and do bare minimum for yet another day." will never exist.
> I have a comfortable life, nor luxury, neither poverty So you have a relationship, athletic hobbies, steady job, and side business? That is luxury. It's just that you've convinced yourself it's prison for some reason. > now I'm back to the same place I tried to escape back then, albeit in a different physical location and work place. As they say, wherever you go, there you are. Even if you found "luxury" then you'd…
Get married and have children. For time immemorial that is what your ancestors have done. It will not make you happy as you currently conceptualize it, but it will add purpose (and much suffering, as always comes with purpose) to your life. It is what you are designed to do.
And children are amazing.
Get married and have children. For time immemorial that is what your ancestors have done. It will not make you happy as you currently conceptualize it, but it will add purpose (and much suffering, as always comes with purpose) to your life. It is what you are designed to do.
> Get married and have children. This is terrible advice to someone you know virtually nothing about, other than the three paragraphs they chose to type out about themselves. The first part, fine, it only affects a consenting adult. But I always hesitate to cheerfully tell someone to go ahead and sign up for a minimum of 18 years of responsibility for a human being, a human being that you'll be responsible for moldin…
OP: "Every day feels like prison."
HN Advice: "What you need is an irrevocable, lifelong commitment! Get married and have children!"
First, there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. It's a signal, and it's great that you're giving it consideration. It sounds like you're in need of a Purpose. Like many folks in modern times. Casually and broadly speaking, I'd say you have a couple of paths forward. Neither is a short-term holistic solution. These paths aren't mutually exclusive either. 1. Focus on creating and solidifying a family Many many p…
Having a family is underrated IMO. Just gives you so much more perspective. And you can't know that until you do it. Reminds me of this podcast on "Vampires, Life Choices, and Transformation": https://www.econtalk.org/l-a-paul-on-vampires-life-choices-a...
Seriously, there is a VERY good reason men are refusing to start families in the US and brith rates are dropping. I tell my son and all young men I meet, "DO NOT get married or have kids in America until they rollback no fault divorce". Until then all financial incentives are for the woman to walk away as soon as you have any assets or substantial income. You saying it's "underrated" is a joke I hope, many of us would LOVE to have a family but financial incentives and society are against it.
The laws are slowly changing but places like Ohio are still in the dark ages, defaulting to 100% custody for the mother even AFTER paternity is legally established!
We are fighting for the passage of Ohio House Bill 14 that defaults to 50/50 custody but people like the Ohio House Bar Association and lawyers fight to keep us in the dark ages while the profit wildly.
Citation needed.
Seriously, as someone who has struggled in much the same way, go talk to a therapist or psych. Depression doesn't mean being sad all the time. Finding little interest or pleasure in doing things is one of the core diagnostic criteria.
Are you sure you are not depressed? Depression isn't the "I'm very sad" meme that TV and movies makes it out to be, at least not for everyone. Having nothing wrong but just not being happy and having limited motivation is absolutely one way it can manifest. Or it could be ADHD or a plethora of other things. So you'll get the same advice as anyone else who feels generally bad - talk to a doctor. Maybe there is a medic…