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Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

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Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#31

Post by xrd »

It definitely ruined a friendship of mine. His startup was making insane amounts of money. He offered me a position, then his business priorities changed and forced me into a poor role with no long term prospects. I struggled in that new role and he noticed that. He then terminated our agreement two months early.

There are reasons he's right about what he did and there are reasons I'm right about being upset about it but it definitely cost us our friendship.

I think back that if he had operated with integrity and honored his agreement to keep me on for two extra months it would have not been upsetting to leave then. As it was it left me scrambling with three small kids.

The lesson to me is that even if the startup is flush with cash, there will be issues. How the founder manages those issues matters.

I recall when I had my startup I did a bunch of business coaching and really had to take on a lot of uncomfortable things about myself. I'm grateful for that. I invited him many times to participate in that work and he never did. When the money is good you think you don't need it.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#32

Post by pyuser583 »

I have a list of friends who I would drop anything to follow at a startup.

I also have a list of friends who I would tell to just put their money in an index fund.

I can’t think of any friends who would be good founders, but I wouldn’t work under because they’re friends.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#33

Post by golergka »

wahnfrieden wrote: post #22
YZF wrote: post #12

I joined a friend's business as an employee and worked for him for years. I think for the most part that went ok but the fact that we're not friends any more probably tells you something. At some point I felt like I was being taken advantage of, left, and that sort of ruined the friendship. We weren't particularly close friends to start with and we were still on talking terms when our work relationship ended. I also…

Anyone giving you a wage while seeking a profit instead of partner equity is taking advantage of you tautologically

Partner equity in most startups or small businesses ends up costing nothing or even less. Thanks, but I'd rather take a wage.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#34

Post by bitzun »

I could work with good colleagues/"work friends"/acquaintances (all people I truly like in the right context), but I wouldn't want to work with close friends. I think it's sort of related to the feeling I get that you shouldn't spend so much dedicated time with your friends that you grow tired of each other.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#35

Post by coffeebeqn »

mindwok wrote: post #19
gamertime wrote: post #2

Hello, this does not apply to me but I'd like to say my 2 cent regardless: Your boss cannot be your friend (or vice versa). It simply does not work out well, you can't be a leader while being friends with your followers, so I expect everyone who worked for their friends will most likely describe it as a miserable experience.

I want to add my 2 cents also and say this isn't a universal truth. I've definitely had bosses who have become friends, even whilst working together. Sometimes it feels that authority and being close in a friendly way are mutually exclusive, but I don't think they are. Good leaders maintain boundaries, set clear expectations, and don't violate them. You can do that whilst being friends, but it's not easy.

Me too- my last manager is still my friend after leaving and there was only a little bit of a change after he left the company. I think we both valued our friendship over the company though

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#36

Post by WorkLobster »

Three years in, and it's working great. We're different people with different work styles, but get the job done with tons of respect on both sides. The only difference is that the friendship is perhaps at a sightly further remove than it used to be.

People said it might go badly; they said the same about living with a different colleague, and that also went perfectly for me.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#37

Post by sdenton4 »

brianwawok wrote: post #26
wahnfrieden wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anyone giving you a wage while seeking a profit instead of partner equity is taking advantage of you tautologically

[flagged]

Executive don't take risks, they make bets... It's more money, but less risk.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#38

Post by ytdytvhxgydvhh »

Didn’t end up going to work for the friend, but the situation still strained the friendship.

An engineer I worked with for several years (and became friends with outside of work) started his own company, a couple of years later he recruited me to join as his business was taking off. He’d also brought in a business guy who seemed to put in lots of processes including a mandatory take-home coding assignment as part of their interview process.

So anyhow, this guy who I’d worked alongside for years, who’d seen plenty of my code and wanted me to join his company, was going to make me do this homework to get an offer.

So I did a verrry basic solution to this thing and sent it back. A bit later I got an email from someone in their office that they regretted they didn’t have any positions that fit my experience.

Later my friend (and his wife) encouraged me to do the homework thing again but I laughed them off. I didn’t want to work for a small company that somehow had hamstrung itself with unnecessary processes that kept the founder from hiring someone he wanted to hire.

A few years later they sold and a couple engineers I know made multiple millions. So yeah, I dunno, I felt good about my decision at the time, but in retrospect it would have been better to act like any job seeker and just go to work for my friend.

Your mileage will certainly vary.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#39

Post by billy99k »

I would never work for a friend as an employee. I've had too many bad experiences with a few friends I worked with on some business ideas. Luckily, we got out early and it didn't ruin the friendship.

I think it's best not to mix the two because a shitty business decision will eventually need to be made at your expense and it will most likely ruin the friendship.

Re: Ask HN: Those who've joined a friend's startup as an employee, how did that go?

#40

Post by orzig »

Neither are exactly what you asked but: 1) I did more than a year of freelancing work for a small company owned by a friend. It was necessarily stressful but I think the friendship was net positive. 2) I joined a fast growing team at a large company, reporting to a friend. There, the friendship was a huge plus because we can talk so frankly and get to the root of our disagreements. I think it’s extremely healthy for both of us.
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