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Ask HN: Best Resources and Books for a Soon-to-Be-Dad?

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Re: Ask HN: Best Resources and Books for a Soon-to-Be-Dad?

#31

Post by willnz »

This comment is not related to tactical parenting, you can survive without any advice on that (humans have been doing it for centuries).

If I was going to suggest one thing to read as a soon-to-be-Dad, I'd recommend this reasonably short article by PG: http://www.paulgraham.com/vb.html

It's cliche, and you probably won't really take it in until you realise it too late, but it GOES SO FAST!

Re: Ask HN: Best Resources and Books for a Soon-to-Be-Dad?

#32

Post by amerkhalid »

Another resource I recommend is vlogs of families on YouTube. There is some controversy that this is not good for children.

But some of them do share tough moments of parenting and that helps you realize that you are not alone when dealing with similar issues yourself. I won’t make a point of watching them though, just play in background while doing something else.

Re: Ask HN: Best Resources and Books for a Soon-to-Be-Dad?

#33

Post by wnscooke »

Too many parents think the goal is to have a baby sleeping through the night, or alot, as soon as possible. NO! The goal in the early weeks is to have a well-fed baby so it can grow. Feed it every few hours!

The baby has mostly heard mother's heartbeat. So when you hold it, be sure to place its head over your heart, or on your heart side.

Finally, you are also the parent. A dad never babysits his own kid. Own this!

Re: Ask HN: Best Resources and Books for a Soon-to-Be-Dad?

#34

Post by Spooky23 »

Honestly, have fun. Don’t get too caught up in the details and drama.

The other thing is be involved and engaged. I got hooked coaching TBall and and now I have one more year till my son “graduates” from little league. That experience has been priceless and I recommend to anyone.

Re: Ask HN: Best Resources and Books for a Soon-to-Be-Dad?

#35

Post by d--b »

Congrats!

It’s difficult to navigate all the advice you’ll get. For early stages I sticked to one large book that has it all (the one I have is in French and is called j’élève mon enfant and covers everything), but I am sure you’ll find one in English - babies for dummies or something like that. You just need the basic guidelines for food, sleeping patterns, body care, clothing, etc.

When problems arise, we got more specific help. Our second child wouldn’t sleep the first two months so my wife took some webinars to understand how to improve and the advice we got worked well.

Regarding education, things get a lot more complicated. We are in a period when education ideas are changing and you’ll get all kinds of theories from: “never contradict a kid” to “kids these days need discipline more than anything else”.

We found that Faber and Mazlish books are really good and grounded in real life situations. These helped us quite a lot.

Re: Ask HN: Best Resources and Books for a Soon-to-Be-Dad?

#38

Post by 3minus1 »

I loved reading Expecting Better and its sequel The Crib Sheet. The books are written by an economist who was annoyed when doctors could not explain why there was a certain guidance (e.g. no caffeine during pregnancy) so she researched all the studies behind various guidance. The book ends up being really informative, kind of going over all the stages of pregnancy, and also debunks some common guidance. It's also a weirdly comforting book, because oftentimes when you look at the data you realize you have a lot of wiggle room on things.
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