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Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

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Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#31

Post by pcthrowaway »

comprev wrote: post #11

Everything is a better alternative to suicide, even if your mind can’t see it at this moment. There will be someone who you know deep down that will listen when you need to talk. In the last month a close friend of mine lost her partner to suicide and she’s having difficulty with the grieving process. She knows she can call me any time of day and I’ll pick up, no matter what I’m doing. Only yesterday I was in an impo…

I wish suicide wasn't so stigmatized. Sure it leaves behind survivors, but our planet includes so much suffering.

They say "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", but I think that can come across as dismissive of real systemic issues. People committing suicide might have been suffering for years, with no end to suffering in sight, and suicide seems like a reasonable way to just.. not continue suffering. This is why I'm really glad we at least have legal assisted suicide in Canada.

I think the truth about people dissuading people from committing suicide is that, sure, in some situations, often without even knowing the person they're talking to, they have unreasonable confidence that things will get better, and the person will eventually be glad they didn't do it.

But what if you frame it as asking someone who has been suffering for years to continue suffering for the sake of the people who know them, or for the sake of society? Instead of putting the burden on the person suffering to continue suffering, we should put the burden on society to provide real assistance for people suffering (often just basic needs like food, shelter, but often-times therapy also), and on people to provide assistance to their loved ones in need, if able.

All that being said, you seem like you are providing support for people you care about and I commend you for that. I hope OP is able to get the support they need as well, and get to a point where they are enjoying life

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#32

Post by needadvicebadly »

alecst wrote: post #28

Since it's not in your post, can I ask what you think is causing your fear and anxiety, and what it feels like?

Fear of failure, of making wrong decisions, being a poor husband, an ineffective adult, of being screwed over and manipulated as I often have been due to my naive and overly trusting nature.

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#34

Post by 0dayz »

From my experiences with anxiety and depression, what I've found that works somewhat well is deconstruct the feeling while talking to yourself out loud (that way you can pivot to something else if needed), essentially if you can dig into the why's, how's it can help you break up the huge boulders into stones.

But I think the bigger point is that you need to find something that allows you to be in control of your emotions (as you can remain calm and still engage in your past) something akin to what I do, I think dealing with depression and anxiety is less about a silver bullet and more a personal cure program even if others see it as a weird quirk.

Do you have friends who you can talk to about your trauma or other places? I've noticed that why therapy or talking to a psychologist might not work beyond not "Vibing" is that the interaction you get from professionals is not the same as friends and family, it's not meant to be, it's more tailored towards a more analytical and sterile a empathetic.

Also please do try and have professional contact with one specialized in trauma (have you done a ptsd assessment?), as a safety net.

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#35

Post by needadvicebadly »

bobosha wrote: post #30

It sounds like you have PTSD. 20+ years ptsd sufferer here and none of the traditional medications made a dent. But psychedelic therapy did and it worked like a charm for me. Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy has shown great promise, give it a shot. - Look into Ketamine which is already FDA approved. - Psilocybin, MDMA are all due for FDA approval. The clinical trials have shown high efficacy and they are the best t…

I'm diagnosed with CPTSD and tried ketamine-assisted therapy for over a year. It certainly helped with awareness and introspection, but has done nothing for actual behavioral modification, sadly. Willing to give MDMA a try but afraid to go underground for it.

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#36

Post by needadvicebadly »

bm3719 wrote: post #29

Make a list of everything you want to improve in life and decompose it into atomic facts. Order them by easiest to fix to hardest, then plan and execute actionable steps to rectify one thing at a time. Put everything else on hold and accept that the other things might stay bad or even get worse in the meantime. If one of those things isn't working out after a couple weeks, put it at the end of the queue and keep goin…

I see this advice a lot and it is incredibly overwhelming to execute. "Quit snacking" alone is a monstrous task.

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#37

Post by alecst »

needadvicebadly wrote: post #32
alecst wrote: post #28

Since it's not in your post, can I ask what you think is causing your fear and anxiety, and what it feels like?

Fear of failure, of making wrong decisions, being a poor husband, an ineffective adult, of being screwed over and manipulated as I often have been due to my naive and overly trusting nature.

Ok follow-up then. Is it that you're afraid of failing etc., or afraid of not living up to your expectations of yourself? Just trying to get a feel for what you mean.

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#38

Post by bobosha »

needadvicebadly wrote: post #35
bobosha wrote: post #30

It sounds like you have PTSD. 20+ years ptsd sufferer here and none of the traditional medications made a dent. But psychedelic therapy did and it worked like a charm for me. Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy has shown great promise, give it a shot. - Look into Ketamine which is already FDA approved. - Psilocybin, MDMA are all due for FDA approval. The clinical trials have shown high efficacy and they are the best t…

I'm diagnosed with CPTSD and tried ketamine-assisted therapy for over a year. It certainly helped with awareness and introspection, but has done nothing for actual behavioral modification, sadly. Willing to give MDMA a try but afraid to go underground for it.

Psilocybin and MDMA has worked wonders for even the worst trauma. Please do try these therapies and there are many more on the way. Please don't give up. - a fellow cPTSD patient.

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#39

Post by needadvicebadly »

alecst wrote: post #37
needadvicebadly wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fear of failure, of making wrong decisions, being a poor husband, an ineffective adult, of being screwed over and manipulated as I often have been due to my naive and overly trusting nature.

Ok follow-up then. Is it that you're afraid of failing etc., or afraid of not living up to your expectations of yourself? Just trying to get a feel for what you mean.

Expectations (of being an adult with baseline ability to be effective and manage life's responsibilities)

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#40

Post by needadvicebadly »

bobosha wrote: post #38
needadvicebadly wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm diagnosed with CPTSD and tried ketamine-assisted therapy for over a year. It certainly helped with awareness and introspection, but has done nothing for actual behavioral modification, sadly. Willing to give MDMA a try but afraid to go underground for it.

Psilocybin and MDMA has worked wonders for even the worst trauma. Please do try these therapies and there are many more on the way. Please don't give up. - a fellow cPTSD patient.

Have you tried MDMA?
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