Ask HN: What mindset change made the biggest positive change for you?

This one is going to be controversial, but as much as I despise misogyny, the motivational videos which I watched out of curiosity of Andrew Tate are quite powerful.

You are feeling bad ? Get in shape, work more. Do the thigs you have been trying to avoid doing.

Feeling depressed / suicidal ? No youtube / reels, do 1h of kickboxing or fitness everyday, sleep well. No excuses. Ever. Your mind IS stronger that you think.

Dont know what to do / how to start ? JUST START, do ANYTHING beside nothing. Do it for 6 months. Be disciplined.

Of course its not for everybody, and I disagree with many things he says but the guy has definetely an aura and sometimes if you hear the right things at the right moment it can make a difference.. personally Ive literally lost 5 kgs in 6 weeks because of 1 video and ive not started beating women as a side effect so so far so good i guess^^

There's a few, but maybe the most relevant one is that my work probably doesn't really matter too much, and it's not work stressing about. In my early twenties I had some ego about whatever esoteric UX thing was on my radar at the time, thinking it was worth a bunch if time to get right and in some cases even compromising getting things done in time.

Sometimes they matter. Sometimes performance matters. Sometimes accessibility and usability matter. But never enough to really get hung up on, particularly if the person paying you doesn't care.

So the mindset change is to do the best feasible work within the constraints given, and no more than you're paid for, because it's not at all worth it.

Mental health and well being are the most important things to preserve. Nothing else matters as much, not the well-being of others, not charity, not broader social problems, not deadlines or money, but all of those might have some impact on your mental health as well. It's a tough one.

Don't care first about other people, but care about others when you can afford to. Anyone guilting you about social issues is either bourgeois or wants to be.

Haven't watched those videos but I do thin, that's an important point. Motivation and interest comes from doing something, not the other way around. This applies at small and large scales for me. I get more motivated to climb if I go climbing a few times, rather than needing motivation to start going. Similarly, I got far more invested in my PhD work after having a few years in the problem space, rather than starting from some passion. Cal Newport writes about this fairly well.

What specifically helped you? Just the attitude you mentioned? Which is more just doing something and not having excuses etc...

I'm feeling a little lost/confused/stuck/overwhelmed at the moment and nothing really makes sense to me.. in that context the advice would be what? To get offline, work hard and focus, sleep and fitness?

1. Focus on positive thoughts and suppress the negatives ones.

2. Never stop learning, exploring, challenging yourself; the goal is to live an interesting life.

3. Pay attention to details; try to be prefect but accept that is not possible. Think more carefully before you act.

4. Look for your blind spots; learn not to make mistakes.

5. Your happiness should be based on improving your mind/body. Don't expect anything external to you to make you happy: not things, not others. Prisoner's dilemma means you shouldn't count on anyone else to do the right thing for you.

6. Manage expectations (yours and others). If the world doesn't work as you expect, then update your expectations.