Ask HN: Which parental action increased your happiness and success as an adult?

But then would you be a happier person? OP asked about happiness, not just success

Sara Blakely's father apparently asked his children at the diner table how they failed that day.

Not a personal story, but one that I'll remember for my own kids when they grow up.

https://www.businessinsider.com/spanx-founder-sara-blakely-r...

Edit, some other knowledge I read: Richard Branson's father used to repeat: Isn't life wonderful. His mother would put him in front of a mirror and show how it reflects badly on him when he would badmouth other people. (I don't have the exact source on these two, some podcast I listened)

Tough love.

I grew up poor, with uneducated parents who could hardly speak English. My parents depended on me a lot. Growing up poor gave me independence and growth. Resilience learned from struggles. Opportunities to make my own decisions and mistakes. My parents couldn’t tell me what to do or give advice because they just didn’t know how to grow up and be successful in the US. So it was up to me to make my own life decisions. I’m a late bloomer, but I’ve obtained a lot of life lessons along the way.

A way I see to teach kids this lesson without the struggles of being poor is to give them some autonomy and the mental tools to push through their failures.

My mom often complained about me being on the computer too much, but still let me have a computer in my room, would semi-regularly come home with new computer games from the dollar store that she thought I might like, and took me to the library to check out a bunch of books about computers whenever I asked. When I came up with weird things I wanted to be (that changed weekly as a kid), she kind of just indulged me without taking it too seriously OR poking obvious holes in my dreams of being a motocross racer. I feel like she kind of just let me figure things out for myself, not convincing me of anything but also subtly helping me pursue the things I decided I was curious about.

I think that partly as a result of this (coupled with the privilege of growing up in a middle-class family with enough resources to live comfortably), I grew up with the default (unconscious) expectation that I'd do something I really enjoyed with my life, for work and otherwise. Not because anyone told me that, but just because nobody said otherwise. While at the same time always expecting to have to put real effort and time into whatever I decided to pursue next.

Private english school, to be honest.