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Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
31–40 of 52 posts
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#32I know people that take this to ridiculous levels. It’s one thing for me to know your significant other’s name, but a couple people I work with do this for everyone in their life with no real introduction.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#33Isn't it just normal worldwide practice? Imagine Emma if you are greeting her with "hello girlfriend, how are you?"
In China, it's common to call relatives by their relationship to you, rather than by their name. In the US, you probably only do that with parents and SO (mom/dad/honey/darling).
US varies quite a bit.
In my culture, anyone above me gets e.g. Uncle Firstname, and is also referred to as sir, or ma'am depending.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#34It’s a way of introducing them to you at a more intimate level. However depending on the situations it’s also common to keep saying girlfriend as a shield so that she remains pseudonymous.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#35English language evolved as an impure, populist language with lots of foreign words, phrases and popular expressions. It could be argued that American English is taking that further, using any convenient phrase or form that is trendy; simplification and over-simplification is common. It might be said that American English repeatedly evolves towards commercial uses and shopping situations, specifically to replace elite language, ways of speaking and specialized words. Words from popular songs and phrases from advertising often get formal status over time.
This informal and intimate language construct might be an example of trendy oversimplification in American English.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#36“Why bother having any non-transactional conversation at all?”
lol this seems so wildly tone deaf. Good luck OP!
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#37Because that's the etiquette norm. The norm reflects the attitude that someone's name represents them as a person rather than some role of theirs. It is therefore seen as more respectful to use this form of reference wherever possible rather than "reducing them to their role". Pretty much all norms like this are culturally determined with just-as-strong-arguments being available for doing it some other way, but if yo…
I agree with everything except that referring to someone as girlfriend is “reducing them to their role”. If anything, it’s adding information to your relations. She is not just Emma (what is a name anyway? Your argument could be followed until the end in which you can only say “that person”). She is Emma and also is your girlfriend. Would your mother be offended or feel diminished if you referred to her as “mother”? If anything she would be proud in most cases.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#38I wouldn't say it's as common as this thread makes it seem. It's a personal preference thing. I don't think there is always a reason behind it.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#39I think it can be confusing even for Americans. My wife goes nuts when my mom refers to our kids in the third person. Ex:”This child is so clever”, said in the presence of said kid, wife and me. Trying to pick apart American speech norms, education level, parents cultural differences can be very frustrating when trying to figure out what is really happening, that the individuals can’t explain. My mom grew is 1st generation American from El Salvadoran and Greek parents. My wife is first generation American from Taiwanese parents. Summary: it’s complicated, even for Americans.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#40No post body was provided.