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Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#31

Post by anonymouse71 »

ddingus wrote: post #21
anonymouse71 wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem is that this is the exact perspective I don’t want. I missed out on half the eternity and really don’t want to miss out on the other half.

It could all end tomorrow. True for any of us. Fact is, we all get some time here. It is not much. The other hard fact is, barring some reasonable fraction of time possible for us, what we, you, any of us want has very little impact on what we get. You don't have to accept it. Whether you do, or not, mostly matters to you, and you don't have to tell either. Maybe one day our understanding will allow us to transcend t…

It is oddly comforting to see it written out like this. Probably because this is mostly mirroring my thought process. I also think about the people who didn’t (won’t have? will not?) make it past whatever medical breakthrough allows us to renew our bodies indefinitely. And then those who die on the way to the doctor’s office to have the procedure done. And somehow seeing that written by someone else makes me feel mildly better that I’m not alone thinking about this and maybe someone out there will figure out some of the answers in my lifetime.

And you are right that it’s probably best to enjoy the ride while on it and not worry about what happens when you get off. Just need to realign my brain to not have it remind me every five seconds that falling off the ride sucks. Or that I might get off and the ride will keep going without me and that I might be the one who misses the news and improved ride by like six months or a day or ten years or ten centuries or whatever.

Of the things I’ve read in these comments so far, this and the link to the Harvard researcher working on cell regeneration have been the two things that calmed me down the most. Yeah this one more so, which I found surprising. Thank you.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#32

Post by anonymouse71 »

gregjor wrote: post #22
anonymouse71 wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem is that this is the exact perspective I don’t want. I missed out on half the eternity and really don’t want to miss out on the other half.

What you want, in this case, makes no difference. Desire is the root of all suffering. Try to make the most of the time you have, stop squandering it with worry and desiring things you can’t have.

My philosophy professor would say exactly that, and then counter it with the fact that without desire you can’t make the most of anything because you can’t do anything that you’ll find meaningful. To desire is a very human thing to do and denying all desire is probably closer to death than not, no?

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#33

Post by FroshKiller »

anonymouse71 wrote: post #27
FroshKiller wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are not aware of the 13.8 billion years that preceded your birth.

But I am aware of their existence, no? If not, would we be discussing them?

Think about what you were doing an hour ago. Now think about what you were doing 6 million years ago. You will be doing the same thing as then the day after you die.

You are not aware of the 13.8 billion years that preceded your birth. You have some conception of the abstraction of time, that an unknowable past has occurred, but that is not awareness.

You are going to die, just like the rest of us, and all that's waiting for you is the same oblivion that yielded you in the first place. You've been through that once before. There's nothing to worry about.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#34

Post by qlk1123 »

anonymouse71 wrote: post #2

I am well aware that with the state of the world and the winter’s short days are clearly affecting my reactions to these thoughts. I know that and am taking steps to try to fix my brain chemistry. I have an appointment with my primary care coming up where I plan to discuss changes to my medications that might help make me not panic. But ultimately I am not after simply being calm as I get older and closer to death. T…

Been there. It may sound weird but I do think Agnosticism or at least similar thoughts help on fear towards death. Occam's Razor is for better theories and models, but not for actual truth and the essence of existence. Accepting agnosticism-like thinking means that you don't have to worry about the existence of God or after life anymore, because you just have no way to confirm the truth.

So now life will be more like a game. The fact that you don't know if the judge is there indicates that you are somewhat freed from any known rules (I don't recommend you breaking any social rules or laws though). It is you and only you can decide what direction to go. Therefore death, well, any game always ends no matter what it is.

A never-ending game will probably end in some unexpected and unwilling ways. If there is no natural death anymore, then everyone can only die by accident. Other answer mentions reverse aging techniques which I feel quite skeptical of because I don't think you would want to live on a planet where inter-planet transportation is not ready but nobody dies anymore.

Regarding the cloud solution, Gmail outage can happen, why will Gbrain never be? Says 500 hundred years later no physical person can claim your brain are still in use online, why don't they remove you from the database silently? Too many uncertainties there.

Dalai Lama once said, to find joyfulness is to take care of others and be empathy about others' pain. Such imagination helps you to realize that there are painful things and miseries happening and they are far more worse than death.

Anyway, devote yourself to something you passionate about, keep seeking mortality and don't blame yourself for it. You either succeed and last to the end of all the universes, or you do something meaningful to people and die like all others. Both are good.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#36

Post by Guest19023892 »

Sometimes I also panic when I feel that I start to understand my mortality. However, usually a few thoughts come to my mind...

1. The most obvious is that I shouldn't exist and I'm incredibly lucky to be here. It's a good time to be alive in history. I'm a person that can enjoy life, appreciate music and art, freely pursue my passions, and travel and see the world. Yes, I want to live longer or see what's happening in a million years. However, I need to remind myself that I basically won the lottery a trillion times over to be here, and asking for more at that point is just absurd. I should appreciate what I've been given.

2. There are lots of people I admire in the world today. Sometimes I'm watching a YouTube video or I'm talking with someone and I can't help but think it's cool that I live at the same time as this person, and how they can be a part of my life.

3. As for death, I think about the people I know that have died: family members, good friends, personal heroes or notable people in history. They died, so I find some comfort in going where they went. I don't think I'm above them, so if death was their end, it's an acceptable fate for me too.

4. We don't understand the universe. What are the odds a big bang creates a universe with the forces and elements required to enable life that can ask this very question? It shouldn't happen. I feel like we have such a primitive understanding of the universe and beyond, and that we truly don't understand life, and therefore death. I get a bit of comfort there, because the mysteries of the universe mean I can't be certain what death even means. Yes, my life as I know it will end. But, maybe I've already died millions of times before? Maybe there is an afterlife? Maybe this is a simulation? Maybe I'll live this life again? Maybe I'll live an even better version of this life? We don't know, so perhaps I shouldn't be so pessimistic about what it means to die.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#37

Post by cesher »

This was tough for me to read. I get panic attacks thinking about this regularly. I’ve heard all sorts of answers to this question, “accept what you can’t control” being the prevailing theme.

The issue for me has been that while that advice is easy to hand out and to some degree I agree with it, it doesn’t say anything about how to reach that point of acceptance.

I’ve tried a lot of things to alleviate these panic attacks, and that’s as successful as I’ve been so far.

The answer: meditation and medication.

I visited a psychiatrist this year after a particularly difficult time and got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. The doctor put me on a program where I started with natural alternatives, I was hesitant to try medication. But eventually, once it was clear that the natural remedies were not working, I put my reservations aside and tried the medication the doctor prescribed. And lo and behold, it’s actually helped. I don’t get the panic attacks as often and when I do they are not as bad.

There is only so much that medication will do for you however. My psychiatrist recommended I a read a book called “10 percent happier”, and this has helped become more aware about what goes on in my mind and what my body is trying to tell me.

P.S. - this has worked for me YMMV.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#38

Post by ddingus »

anonymouse71 wrote: post #31
ddingus wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It could all end tomorrow. True for any of us. Fact is, we all get some time here. It is not much. The other hard fact is, barring some reasonable fraction of time possible for us, what we, you, any of us want has very little impact on what we get. You don't have to accept it. Whether you do, or not, mostly matters to you, and you don't have to tell either. Maybe one day our understanding will allow us to transcend t…

It is oddly comforting to see it written out like this. Probably because this is mostly mirroring my thought process. I also think about the people who didn’t (won’t have? will not?) make it past whatever medical breakthrough allows us to renew our bodies indefinitely. And then those who die on the way to the doctor’s office to have the procedure done. And somehow seeing that written by someone else makes me feel mil…

You are most definitely not alone.

And you reached out unabashedly!

Thought I would keep it real, one traveler to another. You are deserving.

Glad it helped.

Remember, you don't have to accept it. Anything can happen! Maybe it will.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with your mortality?

#39

Post by snori74 »

Gratitude and humility.

Concentrate on the multiple wonderful things you've experienced in this life.

Recognise that every single one of your ancestors had their life, then it ended just as yours will. Recognize that you are part of a community of all of those millions of lives.

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