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Ask HN: Overcoming Burnout / Imposter Syndrome

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Re: Ask HN: Overcoming Burnout / Imposter Syndrome

#31
This sort of situation is complex, and painful. Please take care of yourself. If the culture is toxic, this job may not be the right fit.

If you want to stick it out in the hopes that a breakthrough is coming, perhaps you want to set goals or milestones. A time-based milestone could look like "I will give this three more months." A criteria-based one might be "I will continue if I receive some affirmation of my abilities this week." Of course, some combination of time and criteria is in order.

Advice falls short in such scenarios. I really hope you find meaning and growth at work, one way or another.

Re: Ask HN: Overcoming Burnout / Imposter Syndrome

#32
That's a frustrating situation.

I've been in it. My work was heavily criticised, my technology choices invalidated, other's choices foisted on me. I was moved into silo-like work. A particular colleague liked to criticise colleagues in their absence, and I was part of those he spoke about - backbiting. This created a sense of exclusion.

This all started when we got a new engineering manager who I didn't click with. I wanted to stay until my tenure was long enough, and to leave with a respected reputation. Here's how I handled it:

1. If there's a tenth of an ounce to learn from the heavy criticism, learn it, improve on it and thank the colleague.

2. Being pushed into technology I had little experience in, I was worried it affected my reputation of competence; I worked hard to learn the new technology, learn from my company's existing code and industry best practices, and pushed to implement it as best as I could. That I worked in a silo meant no one's work depended on mine, and I had time to polish and test to push my work better.

3. When my colleagues report their work in my presence, if there's any part of it that demonstrated competence that I understood or had something to learn from, I pointed out specific aspects that made it good.

More than a year on, this has paid off. I am in a new job using the new technology my colleagues gave me a opportunity to learn. Learning from criticisms really helped me with improving how I deploy design patterns. My relentless struggle to maintain positivity in the face of hostility repaired relationships with some, and built on them with others. This gave me strong references and recommendations. The new job I got paid 20% more, at a time when there was a sudden flood of layoffs due to the coronavirus.

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