Ask HN: I'm poor at explaining things, how can I fix that? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: I'm poor at explaining things, how can I fix that?

#31

Post by beatgammit » Wed, Feb 27, 2019, 3:26 PM UTC

cx42net wrote: post #21

apo wrote: post #4

> Today was the tipping when I was trying to explain some basic mathematics to my daughter, and managed to lost here, making her more confused than before. How many questions do you ask during your explanations? I ask because it's very easy to get wrapped up in your own words, ignoring the blooming confusion in the person you're talking with. You might try some experiments around asking questions. For example, when y…

Thank you for your advice. I did asked a lot of question, at every step of the explanation, to ensure she was following, but when I tried to wrap it all, that's where I lost her. I might also have tried to explain her something she's not ready to understand based on her school level, that might be a a part of why she didn't understood my explanation.

Can you get her to wrap it all? When teaching, it's often better to get them to draw the conclusion logically, and then have them explain by working an example with you.

I find that I learn as much or more by teaching than being taught. A good teacher, then, is one who gets the student to teach. Set the stage so the next step is obvious and have them make that leap.

I'm not an expert at it either, but that's what I've noticed from my favorite teachers.

Re: Ask HN: I'm poor at explaining things, how can I fix that?

#32

Post by kazinator » Wed, Feb 27, 2019, 11:52 PM UTC

If you want to get better at explaining things, you have to explain things to yourself often. Either mentally, or by writing them down. Don't be satisfied with the first draft; refine the explanation. Also, read or listen to other people's explanations.

Perhaps the issue is you're too smart, and consequently don't work with explanations. You don't explain things to yourself, but just admit considerable increments of complexity as-is and understand it without having to reformulate it for your internal five-year-old. You don't bother with explanations from others; you get bored and prefer the raw facts. You snoozed in lectures and aced exams.

Explanations don't have to be accurate. Any simplification embodies a lie. It has to, because there is a difference between the simplification and the real subject.

Wittgenstein's Ladder and all that.

Engineers and scientists -- STEM people -- sometimes have a problem with telling technical lies in order to simplify something, in order to protect their "face". The trick is to introduce lies as such. "I'm slightly going to lie to you, but the gist of how it works is ...".

Re: Ask HN: I'm poor at explaining things, how can I fix that?

#33

Post by deanalevitt » Thu, Feb 28, 2019, 10:33 AM UTC

I tended to over-explain but I developed a few tricks that help me keep things simple. I follow this five-step process, especially when writing answers:

1. What is the question? Too often, I found I was speaking about the topic, but not actually answering the question.

2. Wait, what is the real question? I try to take a moment and think about the question and what information the asker is actually trying to get.

3. Did I answer the question? Or did I ramble about unrelated minutiae?

4. Did I answer the real question? Or will there need to be follow up questions because I didn't get to the heart of the answer?

5. Did I actually make sense?

---

Whenever I have to answer hard questions, I try to write down succinct answers in less than 3 sentences. This helps me practice getting to the point, rather than my natural rambling.

Re: Ask HN: I'm poor at explaining things, how can I fix that?

#34

Post by cx42net » Thu, Feb 28, 2019, 10:46 AM UTC

beatgammit wrote: post #31

cx42net wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for your advice. I did asked a lot of question, at every step of the explanation, to ensure she was following, but when I tried to wrap it all, that's where I lost her. I might also have tried to explain her something she's not ready to understand based on her school level, that might be a a part of why she didn't understood my explanation.

Can you get her to wrap it all? When teaching, it's often better to get them to draw the conclusion logically, and then have them explain by working an example with you. I find that I learn as much or more by teaching than being taught. A good teacher, then, is one who gets the student to teach. Set the stage so the next step is obvious and have them make that leap. I'm not an expert at it either, but that's what I'v…

I haven't done that, but I'll try next time to see how she explains it. That's a good idea, thanks!

Re: Ask HN: I'm poor at explaining things, how can I fix that?

#35

Post by tmaly » Thu, Feb 28, 2019, 4:46 PM UTC

I have a young daughter, and I try to explain a lot to her.

I have found concrete examples she can relate to are the best.

For instance I was trying to explain the mental model of inversion.

I explained it using with the example of deciding what she wants to eat. If she is not sure, then lets list all the things she does not want to eat first. Then from that, it helps narrow in on what she does want to eat.