Ask HN: How do you get past difficulty learning what's needed for a new job?

I mostly agree, but staring off into space can definitely be billable time. In fact, I think even time spent off-task can be billable, at least partially, as the brain needs time to digest what it has been presented with; I frequently find a short break can get me unstuck on a problem.

I think Patrick McKenzie recommends contractors bill by the day instead of the hour, partly to get them to consider necessary break time as billable. Of course, if you get to the end of a day and realize you really have been very distracted all day, you don't have to bill it as a full day.

Family distractions can be a big problem, though. You have to have blocks of several hours — I think the ideal might be two 3-hour blocks in a day — where you know you're not going to be interrupted, short of a true screaming emergency. Getting this across even to one's spouse, never mind a young child, can be very difficult. Getting out of the house might be the only way. As Paul Graham once observed [0], even the prospect of an interruption can be enough to keep one from getting into a flow state.

[0] http://www.paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html

My guess — the kind of thought you need to “grok” that system (slow deep understanding) is unavailable to you when dealing with the kind of thought caused by your situational stressors (fight or flight survival).

Doesn’t mean you’re unable to learn new things. It means your cave-man brain doesn’t think learning system docs is as important as slaying predators and fortifying your cave.

Ironic, since the way out of the stressors is doing the one thing your brain doesn’t think will help. You have to get your subconscious to believe that. Tell it to yourself constantly, Thoreau prayer and ‘this too shall pass’ style, ‘meditate’ on the idea that you have a clear path to no stress because you have a developer’s mind, and by using that developer’s mind, you will slay the predators, fortify the cave, and protect your family.

Give yourself the permission to let the urgent stress go, so your subconscious can work on the important thoughts.

> [earlier] while I may work 12 hours in a day, I only get maybe 6-8 hours out of this work that I can actually justify billing for

> If I spend any time exercising or taking a walk or spend my time doing anything other than working every waking minute, my wife and kids will be homeless.

These two statements do not seem consistent with each other. If 4 - 6 hours of your work day is wasted anyway, you might as well spend at least some of that doing things to make yourself more productive.

It sounds like there is a financial aspect to what you are looking for help on so I would like to comment quickly on that.

You may have some options to adjust your debt/finances to lower your costs. If you do have credit card debt, there are services to consolidate them. If you have reliable income, even if it is freelance type work, you can use that to get a small business loan which could be less expensive then putting expenses on a credit card. If the income is not reliable try to make a deal with your client to make it a longer term contract. Guaranteed income is more value in the long run than big chunks of money at unknown times.

There are some things you might want to try to expand your current business: If you feel like you have a working model for completing work, look for a business partner, whom you trust, to help turn that into more business. If you know your client well, think of other products or services you could provide them that would be valuable to them (that they would pay for) but would be less time consuming.

Right now, it sounds like your time and money are your most precious assets, but you have a wealth of knowledge and a working relationship with a client. Think of ways to exchange your knowledge and social capital (relationships) for more time and money for you.

I was in the same boat, I was floating via a single big client and the situation was no good. I don't have the health issues you have, so maybe it was easier, but I hit the job application process hard and found something. The interview process was extremely stressful and difficult and I really wanted to give up, but things turned out well in the end. It sounds like you've got skills to offer and there's allegedly a shortage of good developers out there. Maybe you could job search in a lower competition area?