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Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

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31–40 of 69 posts

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#31

First off, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Please know that you are very much not alone. And yes, seeing a professional is the best route. Check out http://osmihelp.org . Great group of folks and lots of resources there. I also gave a talk on this a while back: http://baugues.com/depression

Thank you for the links

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#32
You're a recent grad and expect people to appreciate you and think highly of you before you've even started? Maybe the problem is your perception of how the world works.

This whole thing is a self-indulgent whine fest. You're not depressed because some people didn't offer you a gig that you think fits your imagined status and because you didn't take a shower in a few days. The fact you think depression is such a trivial thing says a lot.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#33

// For me it was not about the money, but a show of how much a company appreciate me and how they think of me. // Never think this. Never assume this. Talking to a company about salary is a business transaction. It's a negotiation. Unless you're somehow at the type of unicorn where they're not only small, but already have a lot of $$ (basically nothing out there right now) there isn't going to be any amount of "oh ye…

Bad: as in mostly for rent & food, forget about savings. Details (if it matters): Country: France Yearly salary before taxes : ~31000 euros

Wow that is bad.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#34
post #30

Stop worrying about an 'interesting tech stack'. Most development work in the world is decidedly unsexy. Watch the job market carefully over the next couple weeks and pick the most promising looking jobs (no more than say 5-10), research the companies and apply. Accept the best offer. What you will find is that there's a lot about professional development that you need to learn yet. In time you will see your salary g…

I always thought I would be working on crypto or IoT or interesting products that would add something new to the world.

I guess it just was a shock to wake up to world of contractors maintaining legacy applications in JavaEE or PHP.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bad: as in mostly for rent & food, forget about savings. Details (if it matters): Country: France Yearly salary before taxes : ~31000 euros

Wow that is bad.

Some offers went up to 35000 euros, but only because they put food and some other accommodations in the salary.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#36

// For me it was not about the money, but a show of how much a company appreciate me and how they think of me. // Never think this. Never assume this. Talking to a company about salary is a business transaction. It's a negotiation. Unless you're somehow at the type of unicorn where they're not only small, but already have a lot of $$ (basically nothing out there right now) there isn't going to be any amount of "oh ye…

Bad: as in mostly for rent & food, forget about savings. Details (if it matters): Country: France Yearly salary before taxes : ~31000 euros

Have you tried looking for remote work? That'll disconnect your location from your salary potential.

https://github.com/lukasz-madon/awesome-remote-job

http://remoteok.io/

https://weworkremotely.com/

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#37
I think that you should not necessarily take the next offer that comes your way, but you should change your criteria for accepting an offer. You've got to start somewhere, and it's ok for your first job to be relatively "uninteresting". You may find that you learn a lot. At the very least, you'll be getting important experience to add to your resume so that you can get closer to the job you want in the future.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#38
post #4

1. Take a shower, brush your teeth, make your bed, and get dressed for work every weekday. Including shoes. 2. Spend the first 4 hours of every workday doing your best to get a job. 3. Profit. You're in no position to be picky right now. Get a job and get the hell out of your parents' house. Do not chase teh shiny. There is no such thing as a "not-that-interesting tech stack" -- some of the best gigs are writing bori…

Plus, the first is the hardest. The magic word isn't "degree"; it's "experience".

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#39
post #3

My very brief 2 cents: Exercise. It's clinically proven to help combat depression. Also, don't worry so much about compensation so early in your career. Experience is worth much more than $ to you at this stage.

Thanks for your response. I think that exercise would be a good start, so I'll check the local gyms, it would also give me something to occupy me during the days. About compensation, every piece of advice I got so far was about properly negotiating the first because it does not grow that fast (in Europe).

It doesn't have to be the gym. Find some people who play ultimate in the park, or basketball, or volleyball, or soccer, or whatever you like. That way, you're not just getting exercise, you're also with some people. Having someone else read what you're trying to do and passing to you at just the right spot is sweet in a way that just lifting weights or running on a treadmill will never be.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#40

I'm sure I'll get down voted but I'm putting in my anecdotal two cents, regardless. Are you having sex? Sex is a pretty good remedy for this type of stuff.

I know what you're talking about. And no, not since I moved back with my parents (I hardly know anyone in the city anymore and I haven't been feeling like going to meet people ever since I did, since I always thought of this as temporary and I would be leaving anytime)

Now is the time to recognize your motivations and turn them toward something better. Hunting for a job is much like hunting to attract members of the opposite sex:

1) Everybody wants someone who is already taken 2) You can't win unless you play the game 3) To get a 10, you at least need two 5's

Stop thinking of the perfect job and start thinking of ways you can build your experience to get the perfect job. With a little bit of excercise (P90 and Cracking the Coding Interview), some hero moves shown in the right places (pick the job doing something you care about) and a few peeps talking about your moves on the scene (a little open source), you'll be back in the game in no time.

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