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Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

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Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#281

Post by markus_zhang »

itsmemattchung wrote: post #78
itsmemattchung wrote: post #46

An honest reflection of being a father for the last 2.5 years: 1. Sometimes for no apparent reason, you'll start crying 2. Parenting is a constant cycle of ups and downs 3. Ask for help (it really does take a village) 4. Friends and family (even with good intentions) will always find something to nit-pick about your parenting style 5. Having a child will test your relationship with your partner and reveal that you tw…

11. Your career will suffer Point #11 is not necessarily a bad thing. Having a child is a forcing function, requiring you to really prioritize what's important (and not important) in your life. All of us only have 24 hours in the day. All of us have limits. Also, be prepared that not all fathers (especially in the corporate world) will see eye-to-eye. My relationship with one of my mentors dissolved practically overn…

LOL so true...damn I thought I wrote this.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#282

Post by markus_zhang »

hatware wrote: post #131
itsmemattchung wrote: post #46

An honest reflection of being a father for the last 2.5 years: 1. Sometimes for no apparent reason, you'll start crying 2. Parenting is a constant cycle of ups and downs 3. Ask for help (it really does take a village) 4. Friends and family (even with good intentions) will always find something to nit-pick about your parenting style 5. Having a child will test your relationship with your partner and reveal that you tw…

> 1. Sometimes for no apparent reason, you'll start crying I don't think this has anything to do with being a parent.

For some people it definitely does. I also got the habit of sitting in my car for half an hour once for a while, doing nothing and listening to music. It's miserable for the "right" person.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#283

Post by [deleted] »

irrational wrote: post #152

You will not get any sleep for a long long time. Our oldest didn’t sleep through the night until she was 7! The rest learned to sleep through the night much quicker, but still… get all the sleep while you can now. But, do keep in mind that this too shall pass. All of my kids are old enough that it has been years since I was last kept from getting a full nights sleep because of the kids. Do not try to be quiet around…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#284

Post by bergenty »

Xenoamorphous wrote: post #108
Freak_NL wrote: post #60

Not mentioned here yet, as this should be a no-brainer to most people, but if you're American and it's a boy: don't start his life by cutting of a perfectly good piece of penis (i.e., circumcision). That's his call, optionally (but probably not, rare medical conditions excepted) later in life. Don't do it just because the cornflakes guy said so. If you're going to do that anyway because of religion you won't be convi…

> Not mentioned here yet, as this should be a no-brainer to most people, but if you're American and it's a boy: don't start his life by cutting of a perfectly good piece of penis (i.e., circumcision). That's his call, optionally (but probably not, rare medical conditions excepted) later in life. Don't do it just because the cornflakes guy said so. Also if it's a girl there's no need to pierce her ears. She can do it…

Disagree. It’s totally reversible and becomes a reason to stick out in elementary school. Not piercing the ears is akin to naming a kid something weird.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#285

Post by bergenty »

itsmemattchung wrote: post #46

An honest reflection of being a father for the last 2.5 years: 1. Sometimes for no apparent reason, you'll start crying 2. Parenting is a constant cycle of ups and downs 3. Ask for help (it really does take a village) 4. Friends and family (even with good intentions) will always find something to nit-pick about your parenting style 5. Having a child will test your relationship with your partner and reveal that you tw…

What the hell is this? Everything is hard, prepare for pain, work hard on relationship blah blah. Calm down, it’s not rocket science, people have been doing this forever. I have two kids and I can honestly say it’s actually really easy. Yes, they are not teenagers so maybe things get harder then but so far so good.

> 1. Sometimes for no apparent reason, you'll start crying

Give me a break, this is cringe.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#286

Post by dang »

DaveExeter wrote: post #188
sparrish wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To offer the not-so-rare medical condition story, my wife and I were house-parents at a children's home and one of the 10-year old boys was having recurring infections because of poor hygiene habits. After the second time in the hospital to deal with it, the Dr. decided circumcision was the best course forward. The pain and discomfort that poor boy went through as he recovered is something I'd never wish on anyone. I…

Quoted post unavailable.

Personal attacks like this will get you banned here, regardless of how right you are or feel you are. It only makes everything worse.

If you wouldn't mind reviewing https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and taking the intended spirit of the site more to heart, we'd be grateful.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#287

Post by kbelder »

itsmemattchung wrote: post #226
Xenoamorphous wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Culture plays a big role. The west and east have _very_ different ways of raising children Can you elaborate a bit, what are the biggest differences?

One example of co-sleeping. Discouraged in the west by the American Pediatric Association, but very much the norm in the east. [1] https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/safe-sleep/

Can't encourage co-sleeping enough. Avoiding it is one of those official recommendations that I think does more harm than good.

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#288

Post by dang »

wingtw wrote: post #192
thirtyfivecent wrote: post #127

Quoted post unavailable.

I feel really, REALLY sorry for you, mate.

Please don't respond to a bad comment by breaking the site guidelines yourself. That only makes things worse.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#289

Post by dang »

thirtyfivecent wrote: post #270
wingtw wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel really, REALLY sorry for you, mate.

Quoted post unavailable.

We've banned this account for posting flamewar comments and personal attacks. Not what this site is for.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?

#290

Post by AlexTrask »

vharuck wrote: post #100
bitshiftfaced wrote: post #31

Bring a large water bottle to the birth. Go to one of those newborn classes and learn how to change a diaper and swaddle at the minimum. (If applicable) split the night into two shifts to maximize uninterrupted sleep. Listen to your gut. You're ultimately responsible for your baby. If something doesn't feel right, then speak up and set boundaries with the other people in your life. Do it from the start, preferably. B…

>(If applicable) split the night into two shifts to maximize uninterrupted sleep. My wife still tells people about how grateful she was for me proposing this. We each had a guaranteed 6 straight hours of sleep: I slept 9pm to 3am, and she slept 4am to 10am. We used the hour between to update me on any concerns there might've been, but usually to watch TV together on the couch. For my advice, I swear by the Mayo Clini…

I readed the same book. It's a great book and well structured, if you live in the USA specially because there is information about USA lifestyle like medical insurance or babysitting
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