271–280 of 296 posts
My kid's almost three. From day one, we've implemented a zero screen policy. That means no phones, tablets, computers, TV (don't own one), etc. We've read to her since day one and she loves books now and her spoken/listening language skills are way ahead for her age. Wife speaks to her in her native language so she's growing up bilingual too. Wife takes her to parks, mommy and me classes where they have story time, s…
Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…
Counterpoint: I am a parent of five kids, with one of them just turning adult. The oldest two had unlimited access to the net and personal laptop and phone. I think this contributed greatly to them having all kinds of mental problems. My other children will not have personal devices, but rather dumb phones and a family computer they can use that is in a central place in the house. Until they turn 16. Tongue in cheek:…
My three kids are each unique in different ways, which confounds any attempt to draw predictive conclusions about one parenting style vs another. I can only say what I have done as a parent, and I was happy elsewhere in this thread to share anecdotal mistakes the kids have made along the way. But claiming credit for any positive outcomes would be "results-oriented thinking," as professional poker players warn.
For what it's worth, I haven't been on social media in any meaningful way for probably 10 years. Even my rare tweeting is likely to end given that the guy running that company has spectacularly lost his marbles. My ex-wife and wife are similar. We have no dogma against social media; it's just not very interesting. I work hard at my tech job, but I still make dinner every night for my family. None of this is really for my family or kids in any altruistic sense; it's just how I like to live my life. It's a lot easier to spout a certain parenting philosophy when your own life, and those of your partner(s), match. (I hope this isn't coming off as horribly judgmental; I'm merely admitting that if I had a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude, I'm sure my experience would be a lot rougher.)
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But your child will not be almost three forever. I have one in the same age bracket myself with three older siblings. The little one has practically no interest in screen time anyway, but it's a completely different story with the older ones. At some point, they will get in touch with media one way or the other. In our case, once they get into school, they'll be using ipads anyway. So, I agree that for very little ch…
Zero to three are critical years for child development. The brain grows to 80% of its adult size by then. What happens doing those years has outsized effects on the child the rest of their life. So yes, I won't be able to shield her from screens forever. But I can still do my best to set her up for success and prevent her from being a screen junkie.
NOTHING BUT PHYSICAL BOOKS, LPS, FLIP PHONES, E-INK E-READERS, AND PORN MAGAZINES!!!!
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> That's a very different question. And my answer was to teach my children not to become prey. Yeah but from your answers it looks like you failed at that. All your example interactions seem to come from kids that can't take their eyes off the screen.
You really want this discussion to be about tactics to avoid screens! Can't help you with that. Good luck finding them elsewhere.
our internet goes on for them at 6am, turns off at 7am. They have to be dressed, ready for school, brushed teeth etc, before they start at 6am. I have never had to wake my kids up for school in their lives.
They get internet again at night from 7:30-8:30 once all their work is done (reading a chapter in a book, math one grade level higher, foreign language, music). They function as a team so they all need to be done before any of them can start doing electronics.
When I was a kid (12-17) I was addicted to one of the first online graphical role playing games in the country (80s PLATO system - avatar). My dad was a CS professor so I had easy access to the network terminals. He would never have one in our house as he had phd students drop out as a result of being addicted to the game. He constantly reminded me it was better to write the game than to be addicted to the games.
https://crpgaddict.blogspot.com/2013/11/game-124-avatar-1979...
At some point I just outgrew them and I periodically try to play them, but they are so shallow compared to real life I cant get addicted again.
I think as long as kids have plenty of "real life" activities that they love, they will be able to enjoy the internet in moderation.
The kids that really struggle are the ones whose parents dont help them to cultivate real world passions and success so they just spend all their free time online.
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A 2-3 year old sitting there quietly talking, coloring or reading? Yeah it's very very very hard to believe. Even if the child is an absolute saint there's such things as sensory overload.
My daughter is verifiably not a saint, and she sits and eats dinner and chats with adults. This should be the base expectation of any child, within reason. Yes, she can color; yes, sometimes the adults have to entertain children's stories; yes, we pay attention to her. But otherwise, she's incredibly enjoyable to bring out to restaurants and such with the right environment.
My kid's almost three. From day one, we've implemented a zero screen policy. That means no phones, tablets, computers, TV (don't own one), etc. We've read to her since day one and she loves books now and her spoken/listening language skills are way ahead for her age. Wife speaks to her in her native language so she's growing up bilingual too. Wife takes her to parks, mommy and me classes where they have story time, s…
Find a Waldorf school with a strict no-media policy and you have a fighting chance to keep the kid healthy through grade school.
Wholly and completely resent their parents. Growing up in the later 00s/10s, right as stuff like SMS and especially "social group by text message" came along, it absolutely stunted their ability to make friends.
What it did was disconnect them from their distant peers and meant that making friends outside of their immediate school peers was basically impossible. It also landed them an extremely deep rut of depression, causing them to spend their free time for years sinking into alt-right stuff that actively preys on "people sheltered from social media as kids".
Everything in the under-18 space is organized in real time online behind adults backs. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Kids plot against the adults. The fact of the matter is that social media is the way we engage with so much art, culture, and society that these sorts of schools hurt kids in the long run.
I leave you with the track Turntable Winding Down [0] from the album Public Domain. The intro/outro were stripped when the band re-released the album "legit", but Archive.org has the original because, of course they do.
[0] https://archive.org/details/TryadTryadPublicDomain/Tryad__17...
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Like I said in another comment, phones and tablets are portable slot machines. Gambling wins over "other interests" every time.
That’s just not true for every child. Children are not so reductive.