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Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

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Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#261

Post by brendev »

silisili wrote: post #88

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

I've got a similar situation here in Baltimore. The community I'm a part of here is like nothing I've ever experienced. We actually have a neighborhood telegram chat of ~70 people where we post about neighborhood events, parties, etc. My wife and I have a great circle of friends within this community and it led us to buy a house a few years back(before the market got all wild). We just had our first kid, and there's plenty of other newborns popping up so I'm looking forward to seeing them all grow up together!

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#262

Post by cja »

laingc wrote: post #189
cja wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Creating humans to solve your problems sounds unethical.

"I'm lonely!" "Have a family?" "Sounds unethical..." This is an absolutely demented perspective.

If you can't fix your loneliness in another way then you may not be ready to be a good parent.

Separately, is it ethical to decide on behalf of another person that they should be born? (I sentence you to life...)

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#263

Post by mensetmanusman »

LouisSayers wrote: post #117
Zetice wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Eh, it's genuine as long as you subscribe to their set of beliefs. This may not be a problem for you, but for folks who care about reality, it could be more difficult. The difference between this and say, a rec soccer team, is that it's an all-or-nothing endeavor. You can't "casually" become a Jehovah's Witness (or any other religion), you have to decide that your entire life is aligned to those principles. I'm not k…

My mum some years back got involved in a church (as a non religious person). She somehow ended up giving talks at church events and got invited to speak out of town (she would talk about subjects such as helping refugees etc). Eventually though she felt like she was being excluded in subtle ways and being asked to give too much of her time. I also went to a couplebbible reading events some years back (free food lol)…

Once you learn that parables may exist and are never literal, but can still impart wisdom, it makes more sense.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#264

Post by quicklime »

silisili wrote: post #243
lannisterstark wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>My neighborhood I have a question. What kind of place do you live in? Is it houses that are apart by some distance -lawns/treelines separating y'all etc-, is it houses that are built next to each other, is it duplexes/townhomes etc?

Excellent question. I live in a neighborhood where each house has 1 acre of land, so a couple hundred feet between houses? Maybe 100-150 houses in the neighborhood. Perfectly flat, few to no big trees or shrubs that would obscure a house - it's in a desert, after all. What's funny is I picked it because I was tired of having bad neighbors in my previous city. I told my wife this way, I can have bad neighbors, but at…

In a typical evening, how many neighbors walk by?

I used to live in a suburb with literally 10x the density, and the only time I ever saw my immediate neighbors was if we both happened to be walking from our front doors to our cars at the same time.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#265

Post by shakow »

nostromo wrote: post #210
silisili wrote: post #88

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

I'm prepared for this to be an unpopular opinion, but I'm glad my neighbors don't do this. I know my neighbors well enough. We check each other's mail when they're away and will help out in other ways. But I have lots of friends to keep up with outside of my neighborhood -- people I have a lot in common with -- my neighbors, not so much. If they wanted to talk with me each time I saw them coming or going, I would lik…

Then just wave and move on, GP and his wife will not sequestrate you to make you mingle.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#266

Post by Zetice »

gedy wrote: post #87
Zetice wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Eh, it's genuine as long as you subscribe to their set of beliefs. This may not be a problem for you, but for folks who care about reality, it could be more difficult. The difference between this and say, a rec soccer team, is that it's an all-or-nothing endeavor. You can't "casually" become a Jehovah's Witness (or any other religion), you have to decide that your entire life is aligned to those principles. I'm not k…

> Eh, it's genuine as long as you subscribe to their set of beliefs. This may not be a problem for you, but for folks who care about reality, it could be more difficult. Sounds like any friend/social group that has strong political beliefs too? Was enlightening to see this in 2016 when I shared I didn't vote for Hillary. Heaven forbid I voted libertarian, was like having a scarlet letter on my chest.

Not related, as politics are a disagreement about forms of reality. Religion necessitates you believe in something beyond reality.

Also good for your friends, they were right.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#267

Post by EA-3167 »

geocrasher wrote: post #147
TylerE wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, JW are, to put it mildly, nuts. They also outlaw blood transfusions . They literally expect you to just die if you experience any sort of trauma.

That's right, we choose not to accept blood transfusions. But, "literally expect you to just die if you experience any sort of trauma." is outright wrong. We strongly value life! We spend a lot of time and resources to understand transfusion alternatives, of which there are many, and we each individually make the decisions as to what types of treatment we will accept. If you want to find out what we actually believe:…

Let me ask you a direct question, and I hope you'll respond directly.

Lets say all of those "transfusion alternatives" demonstrably fail, and someone has two choices left: Transfuse or Die; you might phrase that as "Transfuse or Pray", but either way...

...What then? When all other options are exhausted, the prayers aren't working, and your last chance to live involves transfusions, are they permissible?

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#268

Post by mptest »

carlosjobim wrote: post #247
osdoorp wrote: post #114

Volunteering. And before you brush it out skeptically, like "oh yeah right, those people", it really doesn't have to be anything you don't care about. I volunteer at a boat house on the city lake nearby, just putting kids on pedal boats and kayaks. I don't even call it volunteering, I just love kayaks and water. It's amazing how your perspective of time and people and service shifts, when you spend some time being "i…

I think volunteering gets brushed off because in many places it is just a pure scam. The organizations collect money and then charge volunteers exorbitant sums for the privilege of working for free. I looked at volunteering about 15 years ago and from what I saw then, I have never entertained the thought again.

>In many places it is just a pure scam

Seems a pretty overly strong statement, no? Is there any research in to percentage of non profit efforts that are/aren't legitimate? Can you elaborate on "what I saw then" that made you think it was indicative of the entire idea of volunteer work?

I have had the opposite experience. All the best people in the world I've met have been volunteering for one thing or another. As a young tech guy I've provided general tech support to as many institutions around me as need it and I've never once felt anyone was anything but earnest. Feels unfair to write so much off. I hope you find an organization you would feel comfortable volunteering for again. It really does provide immense benefit to the mind/heart

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#270

Post by gardnr »

carlosjobim wrote: post #247
osdoorp wrote: post #114

Volunteering. And before you brush it out skeptically, like "oh yeah right, those people", it really doesn't have to be anything you don't care about. I volunteer at a boat house on the city lake nearby, just putting kids on pedal boats and kayaks. I don't even call it volunteering, I just love kayaks and water. It's amazing how your perspective of time and people and service shifts, when you spend some time being "i…

I think volunteering gets brushed off because in many places it is just a pure scam. The organizations collect money and then charge volunteers exorbitant sums for the privilege of working for free. I looked at volunteering about 15 years ago and from what I saw then, I have never entertained the thought again.

I got in with a new "startup" community bicycle hub. They were just getting off the ground so it was pretty chaotic at first. Now it's humming along and, from a selfish perspective, my mental health is much better spending a couple hours a week volunteering with them.
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