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Ask HN: How are you holding up?

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Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#261

Post by JNRowe »

bredren wrote: post #67
iMark wrote: post #22

Years ago, I visited the zoo in Central Park in NYC and watched a polar bear, as it swam around and around in a pool. It swam in a triangle, touching the three same points on the wall of the enclosure as it made each circuit. Last month I walked around Greenwich Park in London 125 times, each time following exactly the same route. I thought about that polar bear a lot as I walked.

Not to take too dark a turn here, but human zoos were not uncommon at the turn of the century. The Bronx Zoo had people, in cages, on display in 1906. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_zoo

The Infantorium was also a thing. People paid a quarter to gaze upon the wonder of premature babies displayed in incubators¹.

While an infantorium still feels awful as a general concept, it did provide genuine medical care to very vulnerable babies. Eventually saving the lives of thousands of premature babies. The linked wikipedia article probably allows you to consider the morality more than my first paragraph ;)

1. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_A._Couney

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#262

Post by bargl »

thom wrote: post #72

Keep expecting it to get easier but being stuck with a toddler and two older kids with 1.5 jobs between me and my wife has been tough. It's exhausting, there's basically no downtime, and we end up in spirals of shame and guilt at being terrible parents, partners, employees. All of this to a constant backdrop of fear and uncertainty, trying to balance sanity with following the rules and the science, trying to mediate…

Same boat (1.75 jobs and 3/6yo) so I'll share something that someone told me that gave me hope...

Depending on your kids age, they will remember this differently than you do. This is the period where their parents were present more. Sure there was shortness, and sure there is conflict but they'll remember the tickle-fights, the games you play, the time you check out of work and just be part of their world.

The other thing I think, is how grateful I am for my wife. I checkout sometimes. Shit, this weekend she told the kids to just give me a break for a little while and I needed it. But I checkout so I can come back and do the tickle fights without being resentful.

You might be surprised that some of your kids best memories may be from this time.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#263

Post by mathattack »

stunt wrote: post #212
jaynetics wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It never ceases to amaze me how different people are. For me, all effects have been the exact opposite. Less going out, so more cooking and healthier eating. Less tired from open office noise, so more energy for sports. More free time without commute, so I picked up some long forgotten hobbies again. This means my advice might not apply to you, but if I may still recommend one thing: ignore most of the news for a whi…

Same here. I do daily exercise now since I don't have to waste 3 hours every day commuting. I'm spending more quality time with family. It just feels that I have more time to do more things. I'm also more productive at doing my work for whatever reason. But, I see anxiety and depression around me and I'm talking about people that didn't had a bad economic or job impact. It's just uncertainty and insecurity that break…

Although it’s easy to give advice, in this case yours is very valuable. I’m trying to follow the work out every day thing too, bringing in my family for it too.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#264

Post by burnte »

jaynetics wrote: post #56
screye wrote: post #16

Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…

It never ceases to amaze me how different people are. For me, all effects have been the exact opposite. Less going out, so more cooking and healthier eating. Less tired from open office noise, so more energy for sports. More free time without commute, so I picked up some long forgotten hobbies again. This means my advice might not apply to you, but if I may still recommend one thing: ignore most of the news for a whi…

I think most people in tech are more introverted, but some of us are huge extroverts, and this has been incredibly trying. Clamping down on news coverage has helped a lot in my case, because it feels like I'm in some Black Mirror mass insanity episode!

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#265

Post by acomjean »

gqxhoqvpnb wrote: post #178

Pretty terrible. I have no prospects, my startups all failed, I've lost most of my money (lost about $2m that I saved over 10 years and earned from previous startups which I managed to cash out). I tried to go the VC route, but no investors wanted to talk to me, so I spent my own money instead and now I'm broke. I need to find a job, but because I'm highly experienced and older (35 y/o), most companies see me as expe…

>I'm seriously considering

please don't.

I'm really bad at advising on what to do to turn things around, make things better, but give it a try.

Sure there are a lot of not great people in the world, but there are some good ones and things can get better.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#267

Post by mud_dauber »

Not working, so I walk outside every morning and tell myself: "I'm on vacation." That helps. Nobody in my family is sick. I have a roof & 3 simple square meals a day. That REALLY helps. Not being able to visit friends or go to the gym really sucks, but I'm getting by.

It could be better. But I know how good I've got it, and I'm grateful for that.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#268

Post by Der_Einzige »

screye wrote: post #172
nyxtom wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Consider the alternative: Social/political climates and the "cancel culture" always has something to target. If you look, at any given time, this is something that has been going on since we could communicate in a public sphere. There has always been and always will be a tension in the public conversation. I wouldn't say "cusp of actual war" though. There are many people however who are hoping and actively counting o…

> cusp of actual war Yeah But, India and China are quite seriously considering war right now. No joke.

They are? That's geopolitical insanity for China. Talk about playing into the interests of your adversary. The USA is ready to eat pop-corn while our adversary (China) kills themselves over an obscure border region with India.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#269

Post by bargl »

mgr86 wrote: post #51

I feel a touch of shame considering the tenor of this thread, but amazing. I just said to my wife I don’t want to go back. And I have a pretty spacious private office. We had our first child on Halloween and we both had only returned to work for a month before being forced to wfh. We both still are. It’s great watching my son every day grow. My wife’s job leaves her twiddling her thumbs a lot so she gets to spend a l…

I can say for myself (as someone who has struggled with this) I don't want you to feel shame.

Enjoy it. Everyone, EVERYONE gets good times in life and bad times. You don't need guilt while you're enjoying an up, and a infant is a great thing to enjoy.

Just pay it forward and inject that positive energy back into the world. I would hope everyone got a quarantine they enjoyed and not the other way around. I'd say that's my metric for where I want society to go.

EDIT: No not that everyone would be in a quarantine but that everyone would have ideal working conditions and happiness.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#270

Post by evan_ »

JNRowe wrote: post #261
bredren wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not to take too dark a turn here, but human zoos were not uncommon at the turn of the century. The Bronx Zoo had people, in cages, on display in 1906. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_zoo

The Infantorium was also a thing. People paid a quarter to gaze upon the wonder of premature babies displayed in incubators¹. While an infantorium still feels awful as a general concept, it did provide genuine medical care to very vulnerable babies. Eventually saving the lives of thousands of premature babies. The linked wikipedia article probably allows you to consider the morality more than my first paragraph ;) 1.…

> Couney’s reputation suffered after the 1911 Coney Island Fire. Despite all of the infants being rescued, the incident highlighted the dangers of caring for infants in amusement parks.
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