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Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#251

Post by temporary22 »

edgefield wrote: post #124
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

We’re in a similar boat and have never set limits. Our two kids have learned to self moderate. They both like technology but get bored after a period of time and move on to other activities. We also encourage other activities with cub scouts, play dates, gymnastics, swim lessons and of course occasionally have to be strict with prioritizing homework. I give my partner credit for facilitating most of this. Maybe we’re…

I never got limits but I got quite addicted to the internet. In my case it was caused by other factors (depression), but I wouldn't discount the possibility in general.

I would set the limit at "you have to do something other than school and tv/internet/gaming in your day, on most days."

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#252

Post by temporary22 »

kapildev wrote: post #127
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

I am an adult and while I was a child, our father turned off TV and cable access. He connected internet for a while but later disconnected that down as well. Needless to say, now I am older, it's very hard for me to moderate my film-viewing and internet-using habits. And I have always been wondering, was it because I wasnt allowed to moderate myself when I was little that I cant rid myself addiction? Nowadays, the on…

I got the opposite, unlimited access while being a kid and difficulty moderating it now.

All of regulations and moderation go to shit the moment one (as an adult) realizes that there is no "real consequence" for unlimited use. The "real consequence" is only what one puts one's mind to be.

(Losing job because of internet addiction? Nvm, find a different one. Getting overweight? It's a silent killer and the effects are years away, plus you get to shop for new clothes. )

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#253

Post by temporary22 »

kapildev wrote: post #225
majani wrote: post #222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or maybe your father had an addictive personality that he had dealt with in the past before having you, and he wanted to nip it in the bud in case he had passed it down to you (yes, addictive personality is heritable)

Nope, he does not have any addiction that I know of. He can easily pass time without doing things he mostly does and enjoys. His decision mostly stems from other parents (his friends) suggesting him to cut TV.

Maybe you showed early signs and wanted to remove the problem

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#254

Post by temporary22 »

bamboozled wrote: post #183
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

Hm, not sure about this, while I understand what you're saying, aren't you giving your kids the equivalent of mental heroin when giving them unfettered access to Youtube? I mean you can say what you want about it to them, I'm still not sure I'd give my kids unlimited access to junk and hope they're cool to just be ok with it? I had zero restrictions on my internet acess growing up, I was also told about excesses and…

"the talk" given to me was mostly focused on drugs, gambling addiction and really hardcore internet addictions (as in not being able to do anything else). Nobody talked to me about mild ones, or the slow creep that an internet addiction can have.

As a consequence I steered clear of all physical addiction and never gambled, but spent countless hours on the net without it creating a problem, until years later (earlier this year) where it all compounded into a nice pile of "not being able to do much beside scrolling social media".

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#255

Post by [deleted] »

theGnuMe wrote: post #173
api wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We banned YouTube for the same reason. It's honestly a bit terrifying how completely YouTube can entrance kids. You could probably kill a kid by sitting them in front of YouTube and they'd die of thirst or starvation. The content is absolute shit too. The YouTube algorithm steers them toward these weird repetitive videos and obnoxious fast-chattering gamer channels. There's a lot of interesting and enriching stuff on…

tiktok is worse.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#256

Post by darthrupert »

sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

Counterpoint: I am a parent of five kids, with one of them just turning adult. The oldest two had unlimited access to the net and personal laptop and phone.

I think this contributed greatly to them having all kinds of mental problems. My other children will not have personal devices, but rather dumb phones and a family computer they can use that is in a central place in the house. Until they turn 16.

Tongue in cheek: Based on my experience I now think that giving children free access to the net is roughly as good parenting as providing them a sack of cocaine would be.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#257

Post by api »

yumraj wrote: post #182
api wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You forgot YouTube. Its addictiveness to children is terrifying. But yeah, I agree. A pi-hole is essential.

I fully agree, but You Tube is a weird one for two reasons: 1) for some of reason, blocking YT is not working on network. I need to figure it out. This problem could be limited to me. 2) YT is used by various educational sites to just w videos. So, if I block YT, they stop working. Note: I’m not referring to visiting YouTube.com directly, but embedded videos in other sites. So, this makes it hard to block YT. What I…

I use yt-dlp (the maintained fork of youtube-dl) for school videos and put them on our in house Jellyfin.

If we can’t do that I email our teacher. I would rather them miss homework than unban YouTube. Schools need to stop using addictionware sites to deliver videos.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#258

Post by mudrockbestgirl »

comfypotato wrote: post #242
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

As a friendly counterpoint, my parents limited the time that I watched TV when I was young (mostly pre-ubiquitous-internet, so it probably implies limiting internet time somewhat). I’m just sharing my experience. I got to pick what I watched and when; I just got 30 minutes or an hour a day. I mostly tried to catch the latest Dragon Ball Z episode. The general strictness of my parents lead to severe rebellion, and tha…

> Now that I’ve matured a bit, I enjoy not having much of a TV habit

I don't think you can draw the conclusion that this is because of your childhood restrictions. I have not watched TV in ~10 years, and most of my friends don't have a TV, but I have never had any restrictions. I had the TV on in the background for 8+ hours a day when I was a kid. I don't think there is any correlation at all.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#259

Post by Dudeman112 »

TaupeRanger wrote: post #145
edgefield wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We’re in a similar boat and have never set limits. Our two kids have learned to self moderate. They both like technology but get bored after a period of time and move on to other activities. We also encourage other activities with cub scouts, play dates, gymnastics, swim lessons and of course occasionally have to be strict with prioritizing homework. I give my partner credit for facilitating most of this. Maybe we’re…

For every one of these anecdotes there's another where the kid got unrestricted access and is now incapable of going anywhere or doing anything without having their tablet with them, and is chronically addicted to the screen at nearly every waking moment, to their extreme detriment in school and social encounters. I have a family member like this.

Indeed. People growing up isn't a function of one variable

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#260

Post by sowbug »

europeanguy wrote: post #235
sowbug wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If my kid asked me about heroin, he'd be asking for advice, not permission. Kids do much more than their parents know about; they always have, they always will. Imagine if your kid came to you asking for advice, and you responded as if you were asked for permission. | "Dad, what do you think about heroin?" | "If you go near that stuff, you'll be grounded for a month." | "Thanks, Dad." (proceeds to try heroin) In the…

> That's a very different question. And my answer was to teach my children not to become prey. Yeah but from your answers it looks like you failed at that. All your example interactions seem to come from kids that can't take their eyes off the screen.

You really want this discussion to be about tactics to avoid screens! Can't help you with that. Good luck finding them elsewhere.
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