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Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#251

Post by agent008t »

pyuser583 wrote: post #244
agent008t wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"If you want kids, just have the kids" sounds very irresponsible - a good way to create a lot of suffering. It is not a decision you can reverse. You should give it a lot more thought than to choosing your career, where/how you live, or to getting a pet. It is shocking that so often it is the opposite, and people 'yolo' into this decision. If anything, you should err on the side of not having children, unless you are…

If you wait until you’re “ready” it will never happen. There are definitely bad times. But many of the things you mention contradict each other? Can I afford children? Get a well paying job. Well paying jobs require more hours. That means you have less time to dedicate to your kids. Realistically, unless you have at least $500,000 saved up, you’re taking a financial gamble having kids. If they have serious medical is…

Usually, when there is really, really never a good time for something, the answer is "don't do it", not "go for it ignoring all logic and reason".

Now, there is a difference between just getting cold feet and it actually never being a good time. For example, if you had a choice to sit an exam when ready, you could be tempted to always postpone it another week, because there is always more studying you could do. But realistically, at some point you are actually, objectively ready and should go for it.

So of course you need to consider that one of you will have to become a stay at home parent, or you will need to hire someone to do so instead. That may mean you would need to significantly cut your other expenses, have a much longer commute, live in much worse/smaller accommodation etc. Of course you need to consider if your neighborhood is child-friendly, so that your child can play outside and socialize with other children. If you are planning to involve your relatives, of course you need to first get their informed consent.

Having children is a decision and a choice. You are not forced into it. And it is a choice that must be made responsibly.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#253

Post by wink »

As I am approaching 40 I don't have a lot of meaningful things to add, maybe job hopping earlier (that would be late 20s) would have been beneficial for $$$ but I optimized for happiness. I do regret not taking up teen favorite outdoors activities (mountainbiking & snowboarding) again sooner (only did at ~33, would have had the money and time to do it 5 years earlier). Overall I think I did everything in this decade that I had missed out in my 20s due to studying and working too much. So maybe just don't think you're too old to behave like a 20 year old. (I actually do think I am too old and heavy to start skateboarding again, but I am prone to falling and hurting myself, so that's a personal problem, not an age problem.)

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#254

Post by spacemanmatt »

yywwbbn wrote: post #232
spacemanmatt wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> we're consuming significantly more resources then our planet could provide sustainably. That is not true of everyone. Billions live on/with very little, sustainably.

There very significantly less trees in Europe (also wildlife in many places) 100 years ago. Same applies for industrial pollution (not CO2 emissions).

Yes, pollution and climate change affect everyone and I am saying that is entirely unfair because many people did not choose these things, do not contribute, and do not benefit. The loss of trees in Europe is due to global effects, not just pollution in/by Europe.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#256

Post by sethammons »

deathanatos wrote: post #95
version_five wrote: post #3

I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…

> if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family I'm in my 30s, and this seems to be the trickiest part that people older than me — sorry — seem to want to just pave over. House prices are bananas. Trump, COVID, Russia have erased years of investment gains. Student loans are a constant tax on my finances (that I'm almost free of… …soon…). Wage growth has been stagnant (my career has seen ~4.7% Yo…

I thought I was reading the introduction to the movie Idiocracy for a moment ;)

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#257

Post by sershe »

I realized around 35-36 (only a few years ago) that the doors are actually closing, especially on physical activity related goals and travel... both as far as health/potential is concerned, and as far as time is concerned. I feel like I wasted quite a bit of time in my late 20ies-30ies. Even when doing something (e.g. outdoor stuff) I wish I was more focused on training, or traveling to exciting places, etc., and spent less time just dicking around with the hobby and doing whatever. Same applies to other pursuits like personal projects, although to a lesser extent because brain don't degrade as far as muscles. And probably work, although it's too early to tell.

I wish I realized it earlier :)

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#258

Post by dorchadas »

Eric_WVGG wrote: post #13

I wish I had realized that I was still young. I had some early startup-ish projects in the late-nineties/early-2k's, they crashed and burned with the dotcom crash, and I felt like I had lost any chance at making something cool or any kind of impact. I even felt like, at the age of 28, I was too old for dating and had missed all my opportunities. Things picked up for me in every respect — professional and personal — a…

> I even felt like, at the age of 28, I was too old for dating and had missed all my opportunities.

I feel this immensely at 29, turning 30 this year. Especially after moving from another country and having all my friends in long-term relationships. Now just to get out there and have some confidence in approaching people.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#259

Post by Graffur »

mkoryak wrote: post #53
gnicholas wrote: post #42

I wish I'd bought BTC. Joking aside, you should consider investing small amounts of money or time into long-shots. Most of them won't pay off, but if 1 in 20 pans out it could repay the whole lot, and then some.

At least it's not too late to buy some THC

What is THC?

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#260

Post by kritiko »

rdtwo wrote: post #241
EE84M3i wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, what? There are states where I can buy a million dollar house with a loan, and if I default they can only take the house, not the value of the loan? If someone told me that 10 years ago, I might have made different life choices.

Yeah usually blue States

Not really… there are 12 states, of those ~7 are traditionally red
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