251–260 of 553 posts
I don't like the new way of doing things. Kubernetes, node, react, terraform... Everything is more complicated and also more fragile. I feel like the software world is collectively mad and I'm sitting on the outside asking "wtf is going on?" Or maybe I'm the crazy one.
People around me are stressed and burnt out and I don't know what to do to help. I simply don't have this problem, so can't relate. My wife is constantly asking when is the next time we can "have a break" but I'm actually happier with the status quo than when we go away. I'm not sure what to do. I'm genuinely interested in advice if anyone has any to share.
As for the second point, you should probably listen to your wife. The status quo will be here when you get back from your break. That is assuming, you mean break to mean something like "holiday" or "vacation".
I’m 30 and haven’t really had much dating experience. It boggles my mind how people are already married by 30. How does dating work? Serious question.
I was a "late bloomer" when it came to dating and didn't really start dating at all until I moved to NYC in 2007 (age 26). Here is what happened for me: - Used Match then POF then OKC - Probably went on about 150 dates over the course of about 4-5 years. Sounds like a lot but averages out to 1 every 2 weeks. In reality it was probably 4 to 5 over a two week span every couple of months. Most of the time was just sendi…
Long-term: dating/relationships. I'm very outgoing, but I have love shyness or something like that. I basically don't date. I find the entire thing extremely stressful and unbearable. I've always been alone. Short-term: not much! I recently dropped everything and moved to the other side of the globe (Japan) on a student visa. I'm studying a very interesting language and culture and making friends with people from all…
" I basically don't date. I find the entire thing extremely stressful and unbearable" I had the same problem. I am sure you have heard this before"you regret what you do not do, not what you did". So SUCK IT UP, and get out there. After a few dates, you will thank me. But I agree the short term sucks, but it will be worth it.
Making big life changes. I just don't know where to start, and even after breaking them down into tiny tasks, I procrastinate on them... probably because I'm a little bit scared. Or a lot scared. The current project is moving overseas. The next step is to find a recruiter in the country I'm looking to move to, since I'll need a job offer and visa sponsorship, and it's really difficult to job search internationally. B…
Then, view the rest as an interview process for the right recruiter. Lots just won't reply. For those that do, set a high bar for filtering the initial replies, then from that filtered group set up some calls. In the call, really take the time to get to know them a bit. Ensure they know what they are doing. Ask probing questions. Interview them! Once you've done the first call, you're in a pretty good position to judge who you'll be happy working with.
It's really that simple, not exactly fun but not exactly that painful either, and it all starts by sending some emails. Do it now :-)
On a side note, despite all the bad stuff (taking a slice of your salary, not always offering the most relevant jobs, etc) recruiters really do work very well when you are first looking in a completely new place. It's not the only way, but I would recommend it.
On a further side note, it is completely normal to be scared by something as massive as moving to a new country. You will be changing your life in a big way! So don't do yourself down over that. At the same time, just get the ball rolling, push through it and get it done. There are quite a few things to do, some hard, some annoying, some boring, some fun, but all individually small and achieveable. At the end you'll look back and think, yeah, that wasn't all that bad!
I don't like the new way of doing things. Kubernetes, node, react, terraform... Everything is more complicated and also more fragile. I feel like the software world is collectively mad and I'm sitting on the outside asking "wtf is going on?" Or maybe I'm the crazy one.
I struggle with the question whether to have children or not. I'm surrounded by new fathers who struggle with their children, whose wives have turned from attractive women into unattractive moms. I read witty comments all the time suggesting how much of a burden kids are. This struggle burns me out.
Long-term: dating/relationships. I'm very outgoing, but I have love shyness or something like that. I basically don't date. I find the entire thing extremely stressful and unbearable. I've always been alone. Short-term: not much! I recently dropped everything and moved to the other side of the globe (Japan) on a student visa. I'm studying a very interesting language and culture and making friends with people from all…
I'm 21, never asked a girl out. I'm same as you, I think I'm pretty outgoing and generally social (not to social, but I'm ok I guess) and I'm good looking too (I go to the gym 5 days a week). But the whole dating thing seems almost pointlessly stressful to me, I don't even quite know how to do it and at this age it seems embarrassing to be this inexperienced.
Quick question, which produces better results, going to the gym, or thinking about going to the gym over and over in your head? How about public speaking?
Think of it as a muscle to be exercised. An actor friend of mine described acting in the same manner.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is a (less talked about, but very diagnostic) symptom of ADHD.
See, yes my friends told me I might have ADHD. But I was extremely good at school (I graduated from UC Berkeley with near 4.0) and never had a problem focusing at work/school. If I sit to study, I can do so pretty efficiently. I can also do work without much trouble. Also, I tried Adderall a couple times when I was a freshman, and its effects were almost unnoticeable to me since I usually don't have hard time focusin…
Since then, I've learned a ton about how my brain's executive function works and have developed many strategies to overcome my own challenges. It'll be a work in progress for the rest of my life, but knowing what it is I'm working on as made a huge difference.
As far as medication: it's completely personal (dosage isn't even tied to weight), so try to set aside any prior experiences you've had outside of working with a medical doctor. Academic and professional performance also aren't part of the diagnostic criteria (I graduated near 4.0, too).
Even if you don't have ADHD, meeting with a doctor will help you rule it out. My $.02, hope this helps.
[1] https://bothsidesofthetable.com/how-to-know-if-you-have-add-... (Special thanks to Mark for being so open about ADHD!)
I don't like the new way of doing things. Kubernetes, node, react, terraform... Everything is more complicated and also more fragile. I feel like the software world is collectively mad and I'm sitting on the outside asking "wtf is going on?" Or maybe I'm the crazy one.