Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#251

Post by anysz » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:01 PM UTC

rl3 wrote: post #224

anysz wrote: post #147

PROJECTS ! You should embark on side projects. They will teach you so much more than school ever will, and they will reward you in a way that nothing else really can. If your projects can make money too, then that's icing on the cake. You will be free. I'm 25 years old with no degree, taught myself to code for the past 2 years and got turned down for thousands of developer jobs. I ended up working in a factory doing…

> ... and got turned down for thousands of developer jobs. Over what period of time? No offense, but I'm hoping that's an innocent exaggeration. I'm not very familiar with the market for developers in Canada, though based on that it sounds particularly brutal. Either way, good on you for moving forward despite all that.

Over a period of 18 months.

Canada is nothing like the US in terms of the developer market. I read all kinds of blog posts about people who learned to code, built stuff and found a job, but it took me a bit of time to realize that Canada is a totally different beast. The amount of junior dev job openings in this country is cute next to New York's. So I started applying there and all over the US, and to Europe, and to Australia, and to South America, etc.. None of those worked out. Those add up to thousands.

I still apply for dev jobs to this day, but only when I have a new project to add to my CV. The way I see it, with every project I complete, I get closer to landing that job. And who knows, maybe one of my projects will eventually be able to support me by itself.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#252

Post by blazar » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:04 PM UTC

As others have mentioned, you're probably having an existential crisis. This isn't a bad thing so don't let the uncertainty of all of it bring you down, this can happen to people multiple times throughout their lives. My suggestion is to find a place where you can be completely relaxed so that you can think through and figure out your emotions. Personally, when I need to figure something major out, I go out on a clear nights sky and smoke a cigar under the stars. You're the only person that has enough information to figure out what you need to do, so treat it like every other problem, and think it through.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#253

Post by emmelaich » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:09 PM UTC

sevenless wrote: post #6

You aren't wrong. Most of us are stuck in conformist, drab and conservative societies, where we're forced to participate in the market economy. This is soul-crushing, and bad for nearly everyone, but especially those in poor countries. I recommend: 1. Don't work hard. Try to reduce your productivity. 2. Don't work long hours. Reduce your working week to the minimum necessary. Most university graduates earn enough to…

Or these days the advice may be to ear a tie!

Since lots of tech-oriented companies have a very relaxed or non-existent clothing policy.

Anything to stand out.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#254

Post by blazar » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:10 PM UTC

blazar wrote: post #252

As others have mentioned, you're probably having an existential crisis. This isn't a bad thing so don't let the uncertainty of all of it bring you down, this can happen to people multiple times throughout their lives. My suggestion is to find a place where you can be completely relaxed so that you can think through and figure out your emotions. Personally, when I need to figure something major out, I go out on a clea…

also, if you aren't already, going to the gym/physical exercise can help alleviate the frustration that you're probably feeling.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#255

Post by anysz » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:11 PM UTC

bvi wrote: post #219

anysz wrote: post #147

PROJECTS ! You should embark on side projects. They will teach you so much more than school ever will, and they will reward you in a way that nothing else really can. If your projects can make money too, then that's icing on the cake. You will be free. I'm 25 years old with no degree, taught myself to code for the past 2 years and got turned down for thousands of developer jobs. I ended up working in a factory doing…

> So I set up a quick WooCommerce site selling Pokemon Go apparel Can you give us a rundown on how you set up your site, and then marketed it?

I dunno in how much detail you want this but I'm dropshipping using an on-demand printing and fulfillment service. I create my designs, I send it to them, when I get an order, they print, pack, brand and ship.

I marketed my site using fb and ig ads (fabulous conversion rates on fb retargeting) and automated my community building on ig using an instagram bot I found on github

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#256

Post by alonmower » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:13 PM UTC

patricius wrote: post #227

This is a problem with living goal-oriented lives. We set out goals and by working towards those goals, we are paradoxically eroding the feeling of purpose, because what comes after the goal? Having finished a goal (finishing your major in business administration), you know how this feels. Instead, find out what activity you can do every day, potentially for the rest of your life, that gives you meaning. For me it's…

Yes, this. As I've gotten older I've realized more and more that what you choose to spend your time on day in and day out that really shapes your happiness and who you are. If you're not enjoying/getting meaning out of the process you'll likely not get it out of the result

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#257

Post by notduncansmith » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:21 PM UTC

sevenless wrote: post #6

You aren't wrong. Most of us are stuck in conformist, drab and conservative societies, where we're forced to participate in the market economy. This is soul-crushing, and bad for nearly everyone, but especially those in poor countries. I recommend: 1. Don't work hard. Try to reduce your productivity. 2. Don't work long hours. Reduce your working week to the minimum necessary. Most university graduates earn enough to…

7. Cut social media out of your life.

I've never been happier and more clear-headed than I've been since I stopped using pretty much all social media (except Snapchat with close family).

By the way, we need more people working on #6.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#258

Post by azraomega » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:22 PM UTC

I've recently read "Man Search for Meaning" by Victor Frankl. I think it's the comfort that we live in make us wonder if there's more to it. We don't struggle with survival anymore. World is now covered by advertisement to urge population to need more useless things. Things we think are innovations are really just facilitating those needs - the need for acceptance, attention, respect, entertainment. Getting bored? get some vines. Lonely? Check Facebook. We don't really feel better doing those things after a moment. It wears off. You do it again.

So is education. You get some, then you get some more. So is work, you get a job, then you get promoted. You know exactly where you are going. You know exactly how much money you need to live comfortably. Maybe you will find a SO, get some babies like your mom keep asking you to do. Maybe that's the way to go. Well, you get to see them for a couple hours before and after work everyday. Maybe go hippie? Go all kumbaya. Maybe find Jesus? It's a peaceful, harmonic society. Another day in paradise!

Realize you are not the only one suffering existential crisis. I have no business giving you advice. All I can say is, I'm in your shoes. All I can think of is to seize control of my own life. Truly understand something thoroughly that you are good at and passionate about. Not for your employer, not for trying to gain attention or respect. Just for you. Take whatever opportunities you've got to travel, to meet other cultures. There are so many possibilities, and you will power to choose your own path if you just be extremely good at something. Know at what point money loses its value. Be good and go forward.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#259

Post by refurb » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:23 PM UTC

dionidium wrote: post #190

mysticlabs wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While it might not be new, it doesn't change the fact that it is still happening, and actually gotten worse. Many of those people you're referring to likely ended up disenfranchised later in life as well, some of them may have even ended up in jail (which happened to a few of my Dad's hippie friends). Many of those people you're referring to never had the chance to grow up to be functioning members of society which f…

>If you gave me a choice, I would love to exchange the levels of corruption and economic conditions from the 70's, 80's, and 90's This is a pretty rose-colored view of the era that included the Vietnam War, interest rates at 20+%, Iran-Contra, an assassination attempt on the President of the U.S., the Cold War and the associated threat of total societal destruction, the uncertainty surrounding the end of communism, a…

You missed the employment rate that sucked. Anyone who thinks the 70's were better than what we have now has no idea what they are talking about.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#260

Post by kbhn » Fri, Jul 22, 2016, 10:27 PM UTC

Avshalom wrote: post #54

I graduated with a BS in physics minor in mathematics, in 2009. Then did nothing for almost 3 years. I've been a stock boy at target for the last 4 now. Going back to school next month because I have the money and no particular idea what else to do. So I don't really have advice except maybe: save as much money as you can for a little bit, see if that money starts looking like something: a trip, an early retirement,…

I was on citalopram for a while, I can speak to the feeling of "is this thing doing anything?" After a couple months I noticed that my emotions felt bounded...I felt highs and lows, but the differences between the two were much less pronounced than previously. I felt...robotic after a while? Like I was going through my day on autopilot, but hey I was getting things done and didn't feel like killing myself on the regular. For me, one of the most pronounced side effects was a significant dampening on my libido; if you've got a partner or wish to maintain an active sex life consider working with your medical professional to find an alternative SSRI.

Give it time, and best of luck to you on your journey.