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Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

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Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#241
post #200

In 2017, I finally--courageously, in my opinion at the time--decided not to subject myself to my dad at Christmastime and bailed on a trip to see family for Christmas. Only a few days after Christmas, my sister, who was 8 months pregnant, died very suddenly and with no warning. I missed my last chance to see her alive, and I wound up spending a month staying with my parents anyway immediately after that, trying to he…

I'm sorry for your loss.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#243

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

No Ragrets

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#244
I regret not publicly proclaiming my love for people and their talents. I've always held back on expressing how much I appreciate others and I regret every time I do so. There is no friendship like a friendship where two people earnestly love and respect each other intellectually and creatively.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#246

Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them. Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique d…

Yeah, similar but not so bad. Spent a lot of nights and weekends with drinks and friends. Now I'm finding we're not so well connected if we're not all drunk and you can't keep on like that too long without great cost. Too many of my friends have slipped into alcoholism or major health issues. I'm in a city so there are options, but figuring out the social world without booze is a lot.

Yeah I used to go out a lot, even alone. Realized I was just spending money, beating the hell of my liver and occasionally talking to a crazy person.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#247

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

It seems you define regret as: if I went back in time I would do instead of and of course this is a pointless exercise if you choose to define it this way.

Most people I think define regret more abstractly: back in time, was a _mistake_, it shouldn't have happened, _I_ shouldn't have done it that way and consequences came from it either for myself or those I love.

It seems from your response that you're ok with admitting your mistakes which - by the above definition - sounds like you feel regret.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#248
Normally people mean if they could change a decision they made about the past. I guess in that sense I should have been more critical when starting a business a few years back about who to bring along. I had my doubts about a certain partner, which turned out to be right. Maybe the biggest "hiring mistake" I've done.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#249
post #78

Perhaps a more simple regret, but not buying bitcoin when it was at ~8USD. In hindsight it would've been the easiest way to not have to think about money anymore for the rest of my life.

Mine is that I said the whole idea was stupid in 2010. When any desktop computer could crank them out at a decent clip, but they were worthless.

I console myself in the knowledge that I'd never have kept the coins long enough for the dream to play out.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#250

My father was a alcoholic, who had long stretches of staying sober before always falling of the wagon again. After he had been on a particularly long bender, which finally caused my mother to divorce him, me and him had a verbal fight where I decided I would not have more to do with him until he would seek the help we knew he needed (and we had been offering him for so long). I'll add that he was a moody drunk, never…

Think of it this way: your experience with your father is probably what kept you away from alcohol. It's a very common pattern.

BTW, I realize "falling off the wagon" means going on a bender, but shouldn't it really be the other way around? I mean, if you go on a bender, that's like getting on the wagon. I always picture this wagon with everyone drinking in the wagon. Because no one who drinking's drinking wants to walk. Just one of those things that's always bugged me.

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