231–240 of 244 posts
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I've been at this new job for only a short time, so I'm aware that my perceptions can and most likely will change over time, but even if I compare my first couple of weeks at both companies, the new one has an infinitely better environment.
Awesome, best of luck!
I know some people here have suggested jumping to another position, which certainly is a viable option, but consider the fact that emotional hardship will always occur in our lifetimes. Similarly, it's worth gaining some self-awareness around why things are activating, whether they be good or bad (activating or deregulating your system in a heightened state or a low-energy state). My advice is see a therapist on a so…
I like the analogy to body maintenance. I think we should just admit that therapists have two modes - an acute mode for treating the mentally ill, and a "personal trainer" mode. With the latter, therapists do the same for the mind that personal trainers do for the body: they teach you to feel and occupy your mind so you best know how to gain strength, avoid injury, and move with economy and grace. They catch bad post…
I know some people here have suggested jumping to another position, which certainly is a viable option, but consider the fact that emotional hardship will always occur in our lifetimes. Similarly, it's worth gaining some self-awareness around why things are activating, whether they be good or bad (activating or deregulating your system in a heightened state or a low-energy state). My advice is see a therapist on a so…
To be truly human, means to feel the entire spectrum of emotion; to allow yourself to experience the good and the bad and to be okay with that. Therapy is about introspection, gaining awareness, and understanding impermanence, and the built-in analogy machine we call our brain - driven by the fading memories and experiences of the past.
When you understand that memory is a physiological experience, and that your mind is an analogy machine, then everything you experience - good and bad - has some consequential association with something you previously experienced.
Therapy, at least for me, is about keeping pace with that analogy machine and giving some grace to what it means to be human.
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One more thing. A lot of people talk about "letting go". A wise man once told me he didn't know much about letting go, but he was real good at leaving things alone.
Trust me, if you leave alone instead of letting it go - you'll revisit. Over. And over. And over. And it's going to be a little bit worse every single time. Find closure.
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> learn to care less about your job. This. This 100x over. Present your opinions, back them up with data / rationale, and if they don't go with them: water off a duck's back. It's their mistake if it works out poorly, or you learn something new if it works out great. If you have employers that don't let you practice this "giving fewer fucks" attitude, or hold it against you wrt career progression, that's when you sta…
water off a duck's back. Fuck it. (R)
How are you so sure that your problems at work really stem from work, instead of being symptomatic of a deeper personal problem you might externalizing onto work? Is the coat of looking for a new job really that high? If your problem keeps worsening, that may eventually be eclipsed by the need to maintain your mental health. If not, then why can't you resolve the problems of work at work?
I'm guessing you're one of those lucky ones with a sane manager that values your productivity, nurtures growth by rewarding good work, and keeps a good tab on past accomplishments whilst protecting you when others make unrealistic or untimely demands of you, and intervenes only with actual wisdom rather than nonsensical judgement or belittling comments. Consider yourself one of the few lucky ones. The rest of us have…
I try to count my blessings every day. Also, in my limited experience, you find these jobs through past colleagues you trust to look out for your well-being.
Point for you: Good self reflection, point for you that you recognized this wrong pattern, and want to change it.
Second cause diagnosed: Please be aware that we as a human behavie strong context based.
In example after learning language being drunk you will not remember it when you are not drunk. When you drink again you will able to speak new language again.
The same is with your work place and home. For you now this is one context, you brings your job actor play and still playing it at home, even though you change your context (from work place to home).
To fix an issue build up (learn) your new role that you will play at home in example a lovely husband, or father.
Solution: When you are mindful enough before standing your home door, tell yourself that you from now on you are playing new role (great husband on example) and when you welcome your wife play a role.
After few days, the new paths at your brain will be created. and your subconcious mind will play that role without your knowledge.
Good luck
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I like the analogy to body maintenance. I think we should just admit that therapists have two modes - an acute mode for treating the mentally ill, and a "personal trainer" mode. With the latter, therapists do the same for the mind that personal trainers do for the body: they teach you to feel and occupy your mind so you best know how to gain strength, avoid injury, and move with economy and grace. They catch bad post…
I have an awesome therapist that I see on a regular basis. Much of the conversations range from your everyday emotional highs and lows to diving deeper into the neuroscience of behavior and activating memories. When you approach emotional experience with the full depth that your mind brings to it, you can begin to understand what drives you; but more importantly, at least for me, it creates a tremendous amount of gra…
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I really like your explanation. Incidentally, what you describe in paragraphs 2+ is what I understand "meditation" to be. You mentioned that meditation did not work for you. Can you explain what you take "meditation" to mean? It may help me and others what meditation is and what it strives to achieve.
There are alot of meditation techniques and meditation practices. Most of them revolve around the idea of using the thinking mind, the analytical process, to gain insight about something. If you do orthodox meditation, you should know there are levels called "dhyanas" or "samadhis" that roughly correspond to your concentration level. The higher the concentration level, the easier it is to see whats going on (like the…
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I'm against pathologising any normal reaction to stress. When the anger reaches a point where it actually becomes a painful hindrance in daily life it's an option to think about though. But there are also coaching and life counseling (not sure what the proper English terms are).
>But there are also coaching and life counseling (not sure what the proper English terms are). Life coaching is just bad therapy from unqualified people. And they are often part of MLM schemes or associate themselves with (other) swindlers to part you from even more of your money.
Interesting how you know so much about things you cannot observe.