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Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

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Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#231

Post by unabst »

solipsism wrote: post #206
unabst wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

First of all OP is not dying. But there is a crucial distinction to be made between suicidal thoughts being a forgone conclusion in one's mind, and someone sanely exercising the right to die peacefully. The inability to distinguish these two would be far more harmful. > suicide is absolutely an option You said it yourself. Option, not forgone conclusion. But I would go as far as to say exercising one's right to choos…

You said it yourself. Option, not forgone conclusion. What are you arguing against, exactly? You said a bunch of absolutes. Healthy minds never see this as an option. Suicidal thoughts are a sickness You apparently realize they're not actually absolutes. End of thread. But I would go as far as to say exercising one's right to choose one's death should not even be called suicide Pedantry isn't very helpful here, nor i…

Choosing how to die is not choosing to die. Your inability to make this distinction and to use one word to describe both is not something you can blame definitions for.

> that's not how language works

It is. If we need another word, we make one up or adjust our expressions. Words are not absolute. Our expressions are not the result of absolute words. Our words are always an approximation of what we wish to absolutely express. Language then evolves with us.

A middle ground would be to say suicide could mean both "choosing death" and "choosing how to die faced with death". Well, the former is absolutely a sickness, and that is the suicide I was talking about.

Since you dislike how and what I write I won't bother, but you'll continue to miss many valid points by forcing intentions to be tied to words and not with the speaker. You need to be more permissive and flexible than that. Just saying.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#232

Post by davelnewton »

HiroshiSan wrote: post #165
davelnewton wrote: post #62

Get actual, immediate help. ASAP. Unrelated, but the issue w.r.t. your wife is probably something else that should be discussed, but it's secondary to the immediate issue. As soon as you reach the point that "death doesn't seem so bad anymore" you need to take a step back and put things in their proper perspective. If you cannot do this yourself, or feel that the risk of attempting to is too great, then you need to p…

For all we know, his wife could be the main issue? His wife put him in between a rock and a hard place. He didn't get the job, but can't even take the time to reflect on his feelings because of her pressure? Jesus Christ.

The immediate issue is not dying for something not worth dying for. That takes first priority, always.

His wife isn't responsible for his well-being. She affects it, but does not control him or his reactions. It may feel like that, but that's perception, not reality.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#233

Post by kafkaesq »

mercutio2 wrote: post #74
akhilcacharya wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's -stupidly- rare for people to 'figure out' the question in an interview ...really? I've heard of people failing interviews at the Big4 because they solved the problem, but did it sub optimally.

Beware of attempting to extract patterns from self-reported in-person interview failures. Most people who fail at the BigCo interviews I'm familiar with are getting bad reviews for: poor communication, not making sure they understand the problem, not testing their solution, not being willing or able to explain their thought process, being unable to answer "I don't know" when pressed. Occasionally there's someone who…

not making sure they understand the problem

What time is there to "understand the problem" when someone (or perhaps a group of people) you've never met are starting you, and expecting nothing short of a lightening-quick flash of brilliance?

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#234

Post by kafkaesq »

georgemcbay wrote: post #81
akhilcacharya wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's -stupidly- rare for people to 'figure out' the question in an interview ...really? I've heard of people failing interviews at the Big4 because they solved the problem, but did it sub optimally.

I don't think your anecdotal 2nd hand experience is at odds with lostcolony's point at all. As much as people say they don't care about the answer and suboptimal is okay, generally it isn't, there's very often a very specific answer they want you to arrive at or you are some version of wrong; so the interview is either failed or succeeds on whether or not the interviewee has seen this problem (or one close enough to…

As much as people say they don't care about the answer and suboptimal is okay, generally it isn't, there's very often a very specific answer they want you to arrive at or you are some version of wrong; so the interview is either failed or succeeds on whether or not the interviewee has seen this problem (or one close enough to be virtually indistinguishable from it) before and can remember how to monkey dance through the steps of it again.

Which is ironic, because most (if not nearly all) real-world problems are never solved optimally on the first go -- but rather via a succession of approximations (many of them wrong, and requiring partial or full retreats).

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#235

Post by rudyrigot »

In my experience, big companies tend to have algorithmic "puzzles" for interviews; smaller companies tend to test more your builder skills, actual engineering skills, the ones they'll need (although you find exceptions on both sides).

If you feel that you can build good software, and just suck at puzzles (I'm right there with you), then maybe you should consider targeting smaller companies. Not necessarily young startups, but not a big 4, for sure.

Also, statistically, in a job search, you will fail A LOT. You can totally poorly fail 70% of your interviews, and still be a perfectly great engineer, that's not a crazy rate. You won't find the job of your dreams if you try only once; I don't believe it's likely that you will find the perfect job for you even if you try 5 or 10 times. So don't let ONE failure take the best of you, and improve your odds by trying a lot more.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#237

Post by miriadis »

This may help. Think this way: the recruitment process of these companies is designed to acquire neurons, human thinking power in the same way they need electricity, disks or servers, not personas.

They use puzzles as benchmarks. Why do they should care about you as a person or your feelings?

They don't need you, and YOU don't need them!

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#238

Post by peachyalkene »

Dude, if it's getting to a point whereas you don't have the will to live, I think it's best to ditch the job and look for another. If I were your wife, I would NOT want it to get to that point, where my partner doesn't value his life. Just because one company "doesn't like" you, doesn't mean you should automatically question your worth, this just means they don't believe you fit their company culture, nor do you like theirs! As you say, other teams have liked you before, so find another company that appreciates you, and vice versa. Take a chance, this is what life is living for, struggle, and work hard for something. We are so blessed to be in USA take advantage.

AND look how many people want to help you :)))) it's beautiful, I recommend you take them up on their offer. Very kind, love you guys

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#239

Post by [deleted] »

peachyalkene wrote: post #238

Dude, if it's getting to a point whereas you don't have the will to live, I think it's best to ditch the job and look for another. If I were your wife, I would NOT want it to get to that point, where my partner doesn't value his life. Just because one company "doesn't like" you, doesn't mean you should automatically question your worth, this just means they don't believe you fit their company culture, nor do you like…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#240

Post by ajeet_dhaliwal »

pacomerh wrote: post #177
brooklyndude wrote: post #12

Take a break, watch Bachelor in Paradise. You think people are crazy? You ain't see nothing yet. Plan B? Go to India, take off a few weeks. Your mind will be blown. Then come back to planet earth. The internet thing is getting a bit old, farming is hot, maybe a career change is due.

Actually, theres some truth to this. Visiting another country can make you realize lots of things about the place where you live, good and bad. You'll recognize things that you have at your disposal that we usually take for granted.

Just choose the right country, if you want the "mind blown" experience the poster is talking about travelling to somewhere like Canada isn't going to do it.
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