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Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#221
post #207

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is Elon Musk no longer a billionaire? Otherwise, hard to say that his success has ended or diminished in any meaningful way.

I would guess that in 2023's rankings he will no longer be the world's richest person. That's diminished success, although still an astounding level of it.

> That's diminished success

That's diminished wealth. Wealth is factored into success, but is not the only unit of it. One can see diminished wealth at the same time as realizing gains elsewhere to no net change or even net gain.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the problem is not the paycut, so much as you suddenly work 80 hour weeks and never see your kids.

If it's your startup, choose a location to work that's close to home, and have the kids come over. I fondly remember running around the overly large halls of various companies my dad worked for which were startup or startup adjacent.

Or better yet recognize that it's 2022 and just work from home.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#223
The other side of this is "waiting" until your kids are a bit older - that means you're doing startups in your 40's+

In your 40's+, you're no longer staying up all night (probably), but statistics supposedly say that most successful businesses are started by those in their 40's.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#224
I was co-founder of my last startup at age 38. Exited at 48. Started with a wife, three kids, two dogs, one mortgage, and an IRA account. Exited with the most important things still intact (minus one dog and an IRA). The company's exit was a member acquisition deal and a fire sale of our IP. Far from glamorous. Far from a fairytale ending.

The whole experience was the hardest thing I've ever done.

It was also one of the most fulfilling professional experiences of my life.

I intentionally stepped off the corporate ladder to pursue this dream. But because of my prior commitments/obligations, I wasn't able to drop everything and go all in. That was a hinderance. It made things harder. It put a strain on my family. But it was doable. And even though we didn't achieve our ultimate goal, these complications were not the reason for failure.

I became an independent consultant that gave me an income with some flexibility to allow me to asynchronously lead our startup. I called the time outside of my consulting work "the nightshift". We raised a seed round that allowed my younger and less encumbered co-founders to work as FTEs. We took in more funds that added another six FTEs and an offshore team. Over the 10 years we existed, I never took a salary. When the chips were down and I needed to be 100% dedicated, I emptied my retirement account.

This arrangement was far from ideal, nor do I fully recommend it, but it gave us a shot. We built, tested, and learned our way to a product that served several million (non-paying) customers. We made plenty of mistakes. But we learned from them. We learned to be so frugal, so resilient. So incredibly nimble and innovative. I yearn for that kind of creative power again. It has prepared me to take on anything in life. I've never been to war or faced death with my comrades on a daily basis, but in business terms, I imagine startup life is as close as you can get. The experience has made me a better husband, father, friend, and colleague.

I've since returned to corporate life (for now). There I am invincible. None of it scares me. Corporate politics, bureaucracy, and general bullshit pale by comparison. My startup experience has become my superpower. Because I know I can help raise our game, knowing how to bring out the best in our people and to keep perspective on what is truly "hard" and how to get things done with less and under far less ideal circumstances.

So I say go for it. But go in with your eyes open. The odds are long no matter what. Might as well take your shot. At the very least you'll learn a lot. And someone with your talent, as long as you continue to hustle, rarely go hungry in this world. And if you succeed, well then, you might get a book deal in the process.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#227
This is what should work:

1. Reduce expenses as much as you can.

2. Get your wife a paying job if that is possible.

3. Save enough to be able to live off the next 4 years without earning anything.

4. If 3. is not possible, then start something on the side.

5. If savings plus side income gives you runway for 4 years, then you are good to quit and focus fulltime.

6. Dont use your wife's savings to pay the bills. That is just fall back. If you are using up wife's savings/income, then it is right time to start looking for a job.

7. Consider moving into a more comfortable job, which gives you more free time for side hustle.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#228

Wow so many negative comments. It is easy to start a startup in your 30s. In fact that is the only time you should start one. You finally have some life experiences to build a startup around. By 30 you should have enough money saved to run for a year or two. Your startup idea total addressable market should be clear. If it is close to a billion, go VC funded. If it is in the 10s of millions to a few hundred, bootstra…

Love your comment. However, remember that those ideas and practices for success were born in a demand market, and we’ve tipped into a market that is short on the supply chain side. The role of an entrepreneur is to gauge probabilities and be where it’s most needed in 3 years.

Universal needs will always be a demand market.

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#229
I built and sold my first startup in my 20s and building another in my 30s with family and mortgage - I suppose I'm qualified to answer this question

Short answer: yes, its possible

1. Find your niche and work 1-2 hours every day to create a strong pitch (a prototype and ideally a few early customers) - consistency is the key - EVERY DAY. Act with urgency here. 2. Raise a pre-seed round - this is when you quit your job. Yes, you are selling equity in your sweat. But there is no free lunch - you want to keep the living standards and also, stop working full-time for someone else - you need cash flow. There is a probability that you identify a really good problem and you grow customer base really quickly - that is very less likely in my opinion.

Once you have some capital, you'll have a larger canvas to paint - it changes the mindset to be faithful to people who trusted you with their money and also, brings in so much of focus.

There is the whole weekend hustler concept - I am not a big fan (I made more progress in 2 months full-time compared to what I could make in 2 years working on weekends)

What's the worst that could happen? Just do it.

Two mantras for you: Focus on intent; Always measure impact

Re: Ask HN: How do you start a startup in your 30s when you have wife/kids/mortgage?

#230
Just my $0.02: start a side project and work on it evenings/weekends, while keeping your day job. Yes, it will be tough, but delaying it is not the best idea, since working overtime without burnout gets harder and harder as you get older. Make sure NOT to make the mistake of focusing only on the more enjoyable, technical side of the undertaking (read: exciting technologies and software development), but pay a lot of attention to the more boring, business side of your project (read: educating yourself on product/market fit, initial marketing strategies, growth hacking, etc.) Find out whether you are going to even enjoy the non-technical, business side of a startup. Realize that since you do not have a lot of money to burn and/or a lot of time to clock in, you will have to avoid huge mistakes and develop a very good business idea and a very good Minimal Value Product that will let you FEEL at least SOME startup traction early on; otherwise, if your side project never gets at least a bit exciting relatively early on, you will just get tired of it all and dump it. (Or not, which would be a valuable lesson as well: the one that you get addicted to running your own businesses.)
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