A masterpiece of programming comedy: https://www.destroyallsoftware.com/talks/wat
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
221–230 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#222Boy: dad, what will be "two by two equals four"?
Programmer: true, my son.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#223Boy: dad, why the sun rises on the east and sets on the west?
Programmer: did you see that?
Boy: yes, I did.
Programmer: does it always works?
Boy: yes.
Programmer: don't touch anything.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#224When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#225One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
"And you got there by a bunch of hot air."
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#226Then I'll happily introduce you to https://bar.com
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#227What's the difference between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg? One's a human trying to conquer Mars and the other is an alien trying to conquer Earth.
I don’t know if I a downvote because Zuckerberg doesn’t like being called an alien or because Musk doesn’t like being in the same sentence as Zuckerberg! O.o
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#22810 programmers decided to make a product,
One asked "Where's the money?", And there were 9 of them left.
9 programmers appeared before the boss One of them did not know FoxPro, and there were 8 of them left.
8 programmers bought IBM, One said "Mac is better!" And there are 7 of them left.
7 programmers wanted to read help, One of them got bad block on the disk, and there are 6 of them left.
6 programmers tried to understand the code, One of them went crazy and there are 5 of them left.
5 programmers bought a CD-ROM, One brought a Chinese disc - there were four left.
4 programmers worked in C, One of them praised Pascal, and there were 3 of them.
3 programmers on the net played DOOM, One hesitated a little, and the score was equal to two.
2 programmers typed together: "win" One tired of waiting for the download - there was only 1 left.
1 programmer took control of everything, But he met with the user, and there were 0 of them left.
0 programmers were scolded by an angry boss, Then he fired one, and it became their FF.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#229Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ah, logic jokes... Three philosophers walk into a bar, and the bartender asks: "Do you all want a drink?" The first one says "I don't know." The second one says "I don't know." The third one says "Yes!"
Ugh this is why I hated logic problems in school. Anyone care to help a poor soul understand the meaning of this joke?
Seriously?
The first hadn't heard from the others but wants a beer so can't deny the universal.
The second hadn't heard the last but wants a beer so can't deny the universal.
Neither the first or second could deny the universal so therefore they want beer and so does the last so that one can reply yes.
/Sigh, I explained it.
[Edit: and then noticed three others had already but I was too incensed to read beyond the ask. /Sigh]