Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

After going through a tough time with a parent in my early twenties, where an accident involving brain hemorrhaging caused a massive shift in personality and speech, I can not stress enough how good advice it is to savour and fully utilize each moment with your loved ones while you can. He ended up passing away less then a year after the accident.

Get rid of your fomo. There will always be new tech. There will always be something new. You can't do, see, experience, read, learn it all. Having gone through my twenties often in crippling fear of being "left behind", I look back now and see that I enjoyed those years less because of this need to be up on everything, which just had the oppposite intended effect.

Your health is important no matter your age, your mental health doubly so. Strive to work smart, not hard. Realize when you are being pushed into a situation where your health is going to be impacted, and stand your ground against it. I have gone through three burnouts, each one more serious than the previous one. One caused a relationship to end. Last one required me to seek professional assistance (which by the way helped immensely and I now openly talk to people about without shame). Know your limits, and work on pushing them in a reasonable manner, but do so on your terms if that is what you want to do.

Realize how difficult it is to live with another human being for a long time, and how rare it is to find somebody who genuinenly loves you for who you are as a person (both the good and the bad) and will stand by your side through thick and thin (and your own bullshit). Treasure that kind of relationship, above anything else. Momentary opportunities come and go. Never jepordize what you have for short time gains.

And be financially smart and frugal. Save. But also live life.

I'm much younger, and definitely not "scary quick", but I did get significantly better all of a sudden after starting to mind my omega-3 intake. Could this be related for you as well?

Outside of a few hotspots like Silicon Valley, programming salaries tend to ramp up quickly in the first few years then hit a plateau. Other professionals like lawyers, accountants, doctors start more slowly but their plateaus are much, much higher. This is why 25-year-old programmers think that they're rich. They haven't hit that plateau just yet, but most will, and sooner than they think. And not long after that they will have their first encounter with ageism. A lawyer or a doctor will never experience that, because his profession values experience. That is the hardest part of staying in this industry for decades, you get to see all your hard-won knowledge become worthless, for no reason other than fashions change.

The vast, vast majority of programmers aren't in tech firms, they are writing internal software for companies in other industries for whom software is a cost, not a profit centre. Those programmers are paid the same as any other mid-level office workers. These programmers are barely represented on sites like HN however so they are almost invisible.

The problem with these kinds of hypotheticals is that had it been that way, you would not be the you that feels this way.

Aged as I am now, a windfall like an inheritance or a lottery win would probably be invested sensibly towards my retirement. But would a much younger me have blown it all on bitcoin speculation or something equally dumb that seemed like a good idea at the time?

2) Maintain friendships outside your main relationship.

3) Spend time with your children.

4) Look after your physical and mental health. Eat good food. Get exercise.